The start your own religion game.

[Eclipsing the Son]

Thousands of years ago, toilets roamed the earth in multitudes. Scavenging off the excrement of animals. They eventually, with their superior intellect, developed technology and dreamed of a day they could geneticaly engineer an race of animals that could deliver the waste that prolonged their survival to them so that they would no longer have to physically hunt for their meals on their own.

Eventually success was made! The first humans were created and trained by their masters, the toilets. They were shown how to eat and then deliver the precious waste to the toilets by their own will. Slowly but surely the toilets then went about setting false beliefs into the minds of humans so that they would never rebel and stop performing their ... ahem... duties.

After much effort, successful education systems were placed that would fill the humans with nonsense and false history to fill the void in their curious souls, while the primary and earliest training remained that they should deliver their wastes to their masters.

Centuries passed and soon the toilets were able to stop working and toiling all together! The humans served them dutifully and obediently as planned and they lived happily ever after.

[Albert Mond]

Here's one I made up a while back.
********** created the Universe from nothing and nothing. Wait. No.
Nothing and Nothing had sex and ********** was born. ********** then created the Universe and the Universe created Earth. Earth created the first two humans... Josionos and Tyfese. Tyfese gets Josionos to banish ********** from that dimension, somehow, and Tyfese becomes the queen of the world. Realizing he'd been used, Josionos wanders off and causes some guy to fly away in a space ship. Then Josionos kills a giant frog and gets a follower. They start wandering aimlessly, visit the Ice Hole (aka Heaven) and are escorted back from the Ice Hole on the back of a giant walrus. It goes on.

[Eclipsing the Son]

That's stupid.

[Albert Mond]

Originally Posted by Eclipsing the Son

That's stupid.

Don't diss **********sm, you filthy little bitch.

[Eclipsing the Son]

Know what? **********ists are now the most hated peoples of the Toiletites. May your people forever make their waste in the woods and suffer eternal chaffing.

[Albert Mond]

Originally Posted by Eclipsing the Son

Know what? **********ists are now the most hated peoples of the Toiletites. May your people forever make their waste in the woods and suffer eternal chaffing.

Fucking Toiletite swine! Your religion is utter garbage! You will be destroyed by the wrath of **********! How dare you defy its word! Your impure souls will be annihilated come the Jignarocalypse!

[Steppenwolf]

Achtung ...
Hello kitty is watching you ...

[Duane]

ROCKISM!!! The power of Rock corrupts you!!!

[Tralis]

Electricity is a lie, there's no such thing. The internal combustion engine, too, is a lie. Machines are really all magical. In the late 1700s a group of scientists stumbled upon the magic that God used to control and make the world. They then formed a tight cabal to control the spread of information about their discovery. This cabal grew itself very carefully, and technologies like the steam engine, telegraph, telephone, radio, and others came from their magic. Several sources of magic exist, but "electricity" is the most common. Its captured sparks... think about it. The sparks of magic drive the appliances we all enjoy. Other sources primarily concern making noxious stews from the dead, such as petroleum, which of course as we all know can be turned into gasoline with more magic. When you get shocked by "static electricity" its really just a random pocket of magic.

[Duane]

Elvis did not die, he was merely returned to the red guitar in the sky!

Do not use the King's name in vain, or you well be banished to the deepest circle of a Kenny G "concert".

[LaBelleDameSansMerci]

A long time ago there were two gods, one slight and given to philosophizing, one strong and active in the world. One day, they combined their powers and created Homo Sapiens. But both the gods were vain, and the first one made his Homo Sapiens in his image: smaller and good with planning and thinking. The other also created his Homo Sapiens in his image: large and powerful and action-oriented.
The two gods soon had arguments over whose Homo Sapiens were better: the weak but intelligent ones, or the strong but simple-minded ones.
There was a great battle, in which each god used his powers to try to twist each other's Homo Sapiens into images of themselves. The gods fought so hard that they became exhausted, and left the Homo Sapiens as they were, and went on to other projects. The gods' powers had worked on the Homo Sapiens to varying degrees of success: some were both strong and smart, some were both weak and witless, but most were somewhere in between. The two groups of Homo Sapiens

Every once in a while, though, the second god exerts his powers - for he is strong, and so can still do it on occasion - and a true football player is born.


*that's American football, not proper football.

[Eclipsing the Son]

I like that one.

[Elysiume]

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
http://www.venganza.org/

Pasta be with you,
rAmen.

[Haunted House]

I worship the Blob.

http://scifidrive.com/wp-content/upl.../the-_blob.gif

[honeythorn]

I pray at the altar of the holy filter!!!!!!

[Paigeybobert]

Infinitism: god is an infinite force and we're all just a little piece of infinite/god. Infinitism follows the Christian bible.

I used to believe that shit, but now I'm a strong believer that there is no such thing as infinite.

[honeythorn]

The great gourami hath ARISEN!!!!!!!

[Draconysius]

Originally Posted by Duane

ROCKISM!!! The power of Rock corrupts you!!!

Wow... You're a regular Jerry Seinfeld.

[Steppenwolf]

-The Gourd!
-Hold up the sandal, as He has commanded us!
-It is a shoe! It is a shoe!
-It's a sandal!
-No, it isn't!

[Joker_in_the_Pack]

My message is simple.

The Church of Rocky Horror.

That is all.

[Maggoty Anne]

One day, god got tired of there being nothing to waste his time, so he made the Earth. There were all these little people on it that he could control, and he became quite addicted to messing around with us. The Spanish Inquisition? What a laugh! The Bubonic Plague? Much better than ‘death by flies!’ God made all sorts of new expansion packs to give us new clothes, countries, religions, everything. He spent so much time playing with us he nearly flunked out of god-school!

Then one day, God got Spore(tm) and left us on auto pilot. He hadn’t worked out all the bugs in the system yet, so we began doing strange thing without his heavenly guidances: Starting wars, saying His name in vain, leaving our TV dinners in the oven until they are engulfed in flames and then running around in circles and screaming instead of calling the fire department, the list goes on and on. We can only hope that if we are truly devout and fulfill our true purpose, (fucking as many people as possible, becoming a pretentious tit, amassing an army of sycophant shitheads, or making a bunch of evil little minions we can brainwash to believe what ever we tell them to) He will someday return and start drowning us in our swimming pools once more.

[Felreaper]

Originally Posted by Elysiume

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
http://www.venganza.org/

Pasta be with you,
rAmen.

IT'S CALLED PASTAFARIANISM!!!!