the Corrupted Wishes game

[the-nihilist]

Granted. Unfortunately for you, however, a crazed paranoid xenophobe wearing a tin foil hat notices your ability and mistakes you for an extra terrestrial spy. Needless to say, one shotgun blast later, you're dead.

I wish I got paid for doing nothing.

[Lord Whiskerton]

Granted, you get paid in wooden beads...

I wish that I could cook better.

[Geoluhread]

Granted, but then no one would appreciate it.

I wish i finish this political science crap sooner!

[the-nihilist]

Granted; you're now finished. It's a damn shame you didn't pass though.

I wish I could control the elements!

Granted, but a failed attempt at summoning up a Water Elemental ends up summoning a deadly mass of water to splash you to oblivion.


I wish to be an immortal Vampire.

[Lord Whiskerton]

Granted, but you end up looking like Count Orlok.



I wish that I could see faraway places through my dreams.

[the-nihilist]

Granted, but the people in those places can also see you... in your pajamas.

I wish the Mississippi Department of Transportation was completely restaffed.

[Geoluhread]

Granted, but the people who work there never show up to work.

I wish I can take the car and go wherever i want without anyone asking questions and without me dying on the way =P

Granted, but seeing as no one ever asks questions, they do not care about you. You are slowly forgotten and phased out of existance.

I wish to be the best graphic designer in the world.

[Geoluhread]

Granted, you are, but no one knows you!

I wish i can draw manga out of my head, not copying stuff -i need practice, i know-

[Ophelia's Snorkel]

Granted, but by a freak chain of typos passed into every document you touch, manga is mistaken for "mango" and you can only get work designing ads for supermarkets.

I wish the human race were nocturnal.

[Lord Whiskerton]

Granted, but the human race gives up the ability to walk freely in daylight (Humans now burn up in the presence of the sun), which allows the feline race to easily conquer the earth due to your new found weakness.

I wish I had the ability to travel into the dreams of others.

[the-nihilist]

Granted. Unfortunately for you, the only people's dreams you ever go to are really weird/disturbing wet dreams and terrible nightmares.

I wish it was cold outside.

Granted, but the second you step out, you find that it is so cold that your limbs freeze and shatters, resulting in a very painful death.

I wish I could control the energy around me, allowing me to manipulate everything.

[Renatus]

Granted, unfortunately you manipulate the electric current in your heart the wrong way resulting in a heart attack and your death.

I wish my xbox 360 elite's red ring of death would go away without me having to send it in(fortunately the warrenty covers RRoD for 3 years so I dont have to pay a thing).

Granted. You X-Box is smashed to pieces, effectively removing the Red Ring of Death.

I wish for a free, functional Playstation 3 without me getting hurt the slightest.

[the-nihilist]

Granted. Unfortunately for you this particular model had a defect that resulted in colorless, odorless, and tasteless fumes to be emitted whenever it's turned on. These fumes pretty much put you to sleep while rapidly killing your brain cells. While playing for long period of time you slip into unconsciousness and die a very peaceful death.

I wish my stomach wasn't cramping, and that by making this wish nothing even remotely or conceivably bad will happen to me.

Granted, but due to the paradox in the space-time continuum you created by making this wish uncorruptable, every human being other than you dies, The Earth turns into a barren wasteland, and every other intelligent lifeform in existance dies. The only creature surviving all of this is a close friend of yours. He fights his way through the dangerous wastes, arriving at you, drained of energy, his last words being "Why...?" followed by his death.

I wish I was Andrew Eldritch.

[Renatus]

Granted, unfortunately it is an alternate universe Andrew Eldritch who is the complete opposite of our Andrew Eldritch.

I wish my xbox that was smashed in my previous wish would be restored to perfect condition without any consequence to anyone and anything.

[the-nihilist]

(holy shit Anarasha, that last one cracked me up)

Granted. Your Xbox is restored... right after nuclear war broke out, which was completely coincidental and unrelated to the wish. Too bad you can't play the Xbox in your bomb shelter while civilization as we know it is wiped off the face of the Earth.

I wish for nothing.

[Renatus]

Granted, everything is whiped out of existance.

I wish to load the previous save game before the nuclear war but after I get the xbox so I can stop the nuclear war.

[the-nihilist]

Your attempts to halt a nuclear war by loading a saved game on the Xbox turned out to be just as futile as it sounded. You loaded the game, but before you even had a chance to do anything, your neighborhood became ground zero.

I wish horse flies didn't exist.

Granted, but by removing them from the eco system, unforeseen consequenses that no one ever expected occurs, resulting in flying cows and killer dolphins taking over the skies, making you really regret not sending a monthly donation to various animal fonds.

I wish for the below poster to creatively corrupt my wish for cake instead of just poisoning it or otherwise making a boring reply.

[Lord Whiskerton]

Granted, but the cake you shall receive was actually a gift from the norse god of thunder, Thor, and was meant for his wife. In anger, he throws a thousand thunderbolts unto the earth causing it to crack, and steals back the cake from you. Fear not! For a savior has arisen. Octavius the Owl notices the cries of help from the common folk and mends the crack. He then defeats Thor in a duel of the century! In the end, Octavius the Owl wins the cake, but poisons it before presenting it to you, for you were the bastard who started this whole ordeal in the first place. The cake really was a lie!

I wish for a fish.

[αρнσтι¢ єι∂σℓση]

Granted.

I wish I would die peacefully.