Partner Application

[KontanKarite]

An associate of mine on Myspace posted a blog about a boyfriend application. In effect, I found it interesting and am now doing this, in an effort to collect my thoughts and maybe figure out what it is I want in a person. So here goes:



About me:

* I am very easy going. I'm supportive and laid back and not hard to get along with in the least, unless you trample of my principals.

*I can't promise security or stability if you're with me. To me, if it happens, it happens and that's grand. But I like adventure and I like seeing places and meeting new people. So be ready to at least travel around, be it to an obscure place in the city I live in or to another part of the world if I feel like it. Or stay home. I would like someone to come with me, but I don't mind if you want to stay home. This doesn't mean that I don't and wont have a career either. I'm already working on that, and I'm doing quite grand.

*I have a love for obscure music and probably really bad fashion. I don't care for those who shop at the mall for "alternative clothes". If you've done this, it's forgivable, but if you're above the age of 18, it's time you should start making your own shit. Most of my stuff is either bought at Goodwill, is clothes with paint all over them, band patches that I've made, slogans that I believe in, or even my own poetry. I even have pieces of clothing from my own clothes sewn onto my more later clothes. So it's safe to assume that I love DIY.

*I'm not easily impressed. If you're drop dead gorgeous, I WILL NOT care. If I wanted to see something attractive, I'd look in the mirror. Physical looks don't register very high on my priority list. If you've been around the world or have a college education, I wont care. That just tells me that you're an equal, not exactly someone to be chased after.

*I don't worship anyone. Not anymore. It serves me no good and wont serve you any good in the long run.

*I don't chase. I haven't chased all my life and I don't plan to now. In fact, I'm probably oblivious to your advances or your attraction to me.

*I love art. I love coffee. I love cooking. I love going for walks. I love to read.

*I love gray weather. Autumn, Winter, and Spring are my favorite times of the year. If you hate these, I'm not for you.

*My idea of a good time is finding a good book or movie, sitting down in a quiet place, and reading or watching it over some good tea.

*I also love going out. I have to surround myself by those who are driven to define their life by art and all things crafty. A good obscure rock show, a night out dancing to 80s music, or a speak easy. Great times.

*I love the woods. I'm not a master camper mind you, but I LOVE the outdoors and plan to spend more time out there. If you're a hiker, you're fucking golden... almost.

*I like to encourage and I like to give my affections when I think you deserve them.

*I have a tendancy to get aloof and distant sometimes. It's not that I stopped caring about you, it's just that I might be in a bit of a funk or maybe I'm just preoccupied with something creative.

*I'm not a clean freak. But, I do like to have things in order and I hate filth. If you're a filth wizard, I wont want you. I don't mind things being "lived in". That's fine. But filth is failure and no... just no.

*I am not overly sexual. I love forplay and I love touch and taste and smell. But the act of sex is NOT important to me in the least. So if you just want to fuck, you're barking up the wrong tree.

*I don't cheat. Ever.

About you:

Physically: I like my partner to be put together nicely. You don't have to be a super model and in fact, that could play against you. But you have to be healthy and you have to be at least attempting to be as physically decent as you can possibly be. In other words, take care of your body.

Emotionally: I don't need you to need me. If you feel like you need me, you're going to fail. You should want me. You should WANT to give me your affections when you're moved to. Your craft and your art and anything that makes you as a person happy, must not be ignored for me. I will be offended. Don't try to protect me or look out for my feelings. I will eventually ignore you and not be interested anymore. I'm not looking for a teacher or a student. I'm not looking for a protector or sister/brother.

Mentally: Don't be crazy. You need to be intelligent, and you need to have at least something to talk about that we both find interesting. You need to enjoy obscure things and you have to be able to introduce new things to me that I'm not aware of. What good is being with someone if they can't already enrich your life in some way?

Spiritually: I will not cleave to your religion or spiritual beliefs. I am inherently atheist. I haven't seen any hard evidence to believe what you believe BUT I do entertain the idea every now and then that there's something bigger out there. But it's rare that I do. This could be an issue. So if it bothers you, we probably shouldn't be together. I can respect a belief in so far as not totally patronizing you but I probably will not embrace your spiritual identity with my whole self. I have faith in people and the capacity of good and bad that humanity is capable of. People are faster than god.

You don't have to be a neat freak. Just be decently clean. Clean when you feel dirty and generally just keep your health in mind.

Your art and craft has to come first. YOU have to come first for you. Don't worry about my end of the deal. I will come through with what I'm willing to give.

Even with this list, I can assume that you would imagine that I want an artist for a partner. That's right. I do. But even then, it's rare that I'll be impressed by you. In fact, you actually have a better chance of getting in a relationship with me by accident instead of it being planned out. I prefer it that way.

A spark. This is the main thing. If I find you attractive or I find you charming, I'll let you know. Seriously.


------------------------------------------------------------------

I think this would make an interesting thread in the spirit of Valentine's Day.

So... post your partner application. What is it that you want now and what is it that you yourself can give?

[Albert Mond]

God, fucking damnit this is long.

About me:

*I'm not especially social, quick witted, or easy-going. Occasionally I can have bursts of easy-goingness in which I do as much stupid shit as possible until realizing the stupidity of it and withering down.

*I play geetar, harmonica, keyboard, voice, and percussion. I suck at all of them.

*I enjoy porn.

*I occasionally speak internet lingo.

*I am a pitiful jigsaw of skeletal and obese areas.

*I sometimes pretend to be stupid to fit in.

*I like to draw.

*I have a slightly offensive sense of humour at times.

*I hate Spics.

*I'm lazy.

*I enjoy food.

*Besides pedophilia, zoophilia, and hardcore mutilation, there's not much I wouldn't do, sexually.

About you:

You are a person. You aren't related. You aren't retarded. You like me.

[Duane]

I suppose I'm a bit like Dante Hicks. I'm immature, lazy, wastes his potential of becoming a decent human being. Every now and then, I'll spit something that could be construed as an intelligent thought. I'm also perverted, quite the charming man I am, wouldn't you agree?

I like to procrastinate.

I like to read.

I love Anime.

I work as a Cashier.

I play guitar and sing.

I own my own grocery store.

I'm a dog person.

I wish to make a living as a musician.


About you:

Look past my flaws, see me for who I am, and be patient as fuck.

[kikrox]

heres a little bit about me:

* i like it in the ass
* i enjoy giving it in the ass
* i like to take it in the ass with the use of mild lubricant at certain times
* taking it in the ass is my favorite position
* im lazy unless you want to give it to me in the ass
* ill let anyone and everybody give it to me in the ass

[Cicero]

My partner would accept my perfectionism, not miss fast food or coca cola when he's at my house (they're basically banned here), enjoy my awesome cooking, be extremely easy-going to counter my neuroticism, be completely un-romantic (I don't buy into that bullshit), have a similar sense of humour to my own, make me laugh hysterically on a daily basis, keep me warm at night, not drink heavily or smoke, enjoy fawning over bones with me, have the same cravings for travel, and overall hold the similar values to me (where it matters anyway, e.g. no pro-lifers or jihad-goers). Being tall, thin and pretty also a plus, along with having an interesting style and similar musical tastes (not the same, that would be boring).

Oh hey, I already have that.

[CrimsonPythonidae]

Happy Valentine's day everyone!

Not that I care too much about that kind of thing, I spent this morning at a truck driving lesson . .

Anyway, the task at hand, I don't even know where to begin. I have opinions, a couple of solid ones and lots of minor ones that change from time to time with my learning of new information. I'm nobody's bitch, in fact, I'm not a bitch at all. I'm nice and fairly relaxed most of the time unless confronted with someone really nasty and I'm forced to retalliate.

I don't like commercialism and although it may sound harsh I have recently been finding it hard to feel sorry for people caught in and experiencing natural disasters, or in many situations in fact. Animals always have my sympathy. Speaking of animals, I plan to have camels when I buy property.

I don't really like cooking very often, I eat when my body needs fuel and I keep it simple. That being said I do enjoy some foods. I like to eat well and keep fit, I have lazy times but I start feeling kind of gross, so I tend to look after myself more often than not. I like being alive, I enjoy every minute and make the most of being around. I enjoy music, exercising, drawing, reading, travelling, bludging around watching anime or movies, on my computer playing games or doing the internet thing. I've taken to drawing manga lately and enjoy that very much. I'm getting my HR (truck) licence at the moment and it's seriously wicked fun.

I can't stand when people complain "I'm bored" as if I have to entertain them, that basically says to me about that person they are ungrateful for their life and think that they already know everything, it shows they lack very basic imagination. I don't have time for shit like that, life's too short.

My perfect partner, if there is such a thing, would be very much like me. Laid back, into the deeper side of life, enjoying good conversation and a peaceful existance and be excited by the simple things. They need to take care of themselves and their health. They would ideally not be too demanding and invade my personal space. I like cuddles but I also like to shower on my own. Respect is huge with me, I have plenty for those who deserve it. I wish more people were humble and showed more respect.
Travel is something I really love, because I love to explore and learn, I'm insatiably curious and would be compatible with someone who is just as keen to learn and can also provide me with answers and new information as well as join me on my quest to cram my brain with as much information as I possibly can.
I'm not going to describe what they would need to look like because I simply don't care, within reason, I mean they need to have a reasonable standard of hygeine and all that but as far as specific physical features it's irrelevent. It's also irrelevent how I look.

I am not religious and believe that it's the cause of a lot of trouble around the world.

I reckon I'll leave it at that.

[Godslayer Jillian]

I am: godly

I want: sexually attractive female followers

[Scareebowfairy]

Me- I am stubborn when it comes to getting my way. I have a short temper, and can sometimes be impossible to reason with. I will not take your advice unless you can prove to me your advice is wise. If I don't want to do something I won't, I refuse to be pressured. I like to think I'm right, but will admit if I'm wrong.
I can't stand to see people unhappy, so don't be to surprised if I try to make you feel better. I have empathy that could smother you. If I care for you you'll no it.
I am a big believer in morals and principals, that I feel is slowly dying in this world sadly.
I care a lot about my appearance, I dress to impress, I can't help myself. I am not a clean freak, but dumpsters are out of the question.
I don't get along with people my own age, I find I can't relate. In fact I get along better with the old bats at my beading class more then the party drunks my own age. I love talking about conspiracies with my father and reminding him that Goths aren't Satanic when he frets about my style. If you are a good friend to me, I am your most loyal companion.

I want a guy- who adores me as much as I would adore him. Who can defuse me when I have a temper tantrum. He must care about people and know like I know that everybody deserves the right to be happy.
I would like if he were alternative with his own unique style. And who doesn't expect me to do all the housework. If he can spike my curiosity in conversation and make me laugh than his a precious diamond. He doesn't have to be overly good looking, just presentable and interesting.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Scareebowfairy

Me- I am stubborn when it comes to getting my way. I have a short temper, and can sometimes be impossible to reason with. I will not take your advice unless you can prove to me your advice is wise. If I don't want to do something I won't, I refuse to be pressured. I like to think I'm right, but will admit if I'm wrong.
I can't stand to see people unhappy, so don't be to surprised if I try to make you feel better. I have empathy that could smother you. If I care for you you'll no it.
I am a big believer in morals and principals, that I feel is slowly dying in this world sadly.
I care a lot about my appearance, I dress to impress, I can't help myself. I am not a clean freak, but dumpsters are out of the question.
I don't get along with people my own age, I find I can't relate. In fact I get along better with the old bats at my beading class more then the party drunks my own age. I love talking about conspiracies with my father and reminding him that Goths aren't Satanic when he frets about my style. If you are a good friend to me, I am your most loyal companion.

In other words, you're a total bitch.

[honeythorn]

I've actually quite liked reading these. I'm not going to write one though.

[Scareebowfairy]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

In other words, you're a total bitch.

If I say your a lovely, interesting person can I win you over?

[badteccy]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

In other words, you're a total bitch.

HAHAHAHA!!


But Sarah, she is sooooo mature, she gets along with people older than her!

[Devil's Darling]

This sounds like fun :

-I love painting and drawing [especially with drawing ink]

-I love music.Don't think I could ever live without my music.

-Love going to concerts.Love them even more if they're open-air.

-I ADORE motorcycles especially the beautiful Black Widow.

-I enjoy reading.

-Love spending time with my friends.They're everything to me.

-I hate people who think they know everything when in fact they know nothing.

-I'm not a religious person....at all.

-I hate summer....Too damn hot!

-I seem to have a strange addiction to Coca-Cola and Red Bull.

-I like Dada.

About him : I'll stick to the tall , dark and handsome thing.He needs to understand me 'cuz sometimes I'm kinda tricky.He needs to love art the way I do and enjoy music as much as I do.He has to respect my friends as I will respect his.I don't want him to be a kissass as in everything I say he'll agree.I want him to have his own personality and stand up for himself not like other idiots.He has to be faithful no matter what.He dose not have to be a complete romantic sometimes I just hate that crap!He dose need a sense of humor

[Despanan]

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

A
*I'm not a clean freak. But, I do like to have things in order and I hate filth. If you're a filth wizard, I wont want you. I don't mind things being "lived in". That's fine. But filth is failure and no... just no.

Yeah, your ex was a level twenty filth wizard...Hell maybe even some sort of epic class...Like a level 25 groad-warrior. A friend only to the pig and the rat.

She put all of her points into...garbage sorcery.

Your Ex was fucking disgusting.

[honeythorn]

I have to incorporate the term "Filth Wizard" into my vocabulary at once . It makes me giggle

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by badteccy

HAHAHAHA!!


But Sarah, she is sooooo mature, she gets along with people older than her!

Ha.

I don't get it when people flaunt their stubbornness like it's a good thing.

[Underwater Ophelia]

Originally Posted by Despanan

Yeah, your ex was a level twenty filth wizard...Hell maybe even some sort of epic class...Like a level 25 groad-warrior. A friend only to the pig and the rat.

She put all of her points into...garbage sorcery.

Your Ex was fucking disgusting.

GARBAGE SORCERY.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh that's good.

[Despanan]

With that feat you can turn an entire two-person apartment into a fly-infested breeding ground for disease in one-week flat.

My list is not very good or extensive.

About me:

I have a relatively relaxed outlook on life.
I'm far from perfectionist in most aspects of my life, if something is a mess, it generally stays a mess until I can be bothered to do something about it.
I'm rather lazy.
I like odd food.
I like alcohol. A lot.
I don't view myself as special. I don't view anyone else as special.
I'm a gearhead.
I like shit horror movies and I enjoy picking holes in the plots.
I have stupid habits.

What I want in a person:

I want them to put up with my hi-jinx and tomfoolery.
I want them to put up with my friends.
I want them to put up with my drunken antics.
They shouldn't be a whiny twat.
They shouldn't be clingy.
They shouldn't be a partykiller.

[honeythorn]

Originally Posted by Despanan

With that feat you can turn an entire two-person apartment into a fly-infested breeding ground for disease in one-week flat.

Was she really that bad???

[KontanKarite]

She was. I'm in the business of finding a new place in fact... again. *rollseyes*

Not that certain information should have been said. We could have left it at my original post, but sure... she's not clean... at all.

Sometimes I think it best that I should pretty much live alone.

[Sir Canvas Corpsey]

Remind me why you and Despanan haven't gotten married yet?

[Underwater Ophelia]

Kontan...why would you stick and stir a skank like that?

[gothicusmaximus]

I think I'm in love with Kontan's ex.

Kontan, could you relay to your former girlfriend my proposal that, with the joined power of my cunning and her peerless garbage sorcery, we claim the lower east side as our kingdom and rule over it as man and wife?

[KontanKarite]

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Kontan...why would you stick and stir a skank like that?

Money. o_0

Ya know. Since the cat's out of the bag and all. An issue that will soon be rectified though.

She started out as a friend who was being very gracious and helpful in some things. But... things just went south. Ya dig?