Rant Thread

[LightPollution07]

Ya know what I hate? Censorship....damn government...

any thoughts?

[AlKilyu]

http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/8631/5624zw.jpg

[rockandrose]

I often hopelessly walk along the streets, in which perphaps "hope" will find me. Expressionless, I stare through the window of my bedroom out to an artificial world. My dog stands by me, he examines me, is he trying to understand why I shed these tears?

I see myself slowing sinking in a sea of apathy.

But then all of a sudden it hits me. It hits me hard and painful.

I become scared. I’m scared him.

I haven’t been this scared since the day he came knocking on my door, which about six months ago. I was home alone. The fact that he was standing outside my house was enough to scare me. At the time, it felt like he was standing outside for 54 minutes when it was probably only 15-20 minutes.

I was weak and fragile, in an utter mess who couldn’t reframe her rapid emotions from spilling.

The image of those murderous eyes from about a year and half ago, is still painted vividly somewhere in the back of my mind.

His angry words remains etched inside me, echoing in my dreams and haunting me in broad daylight.

An ugly reminisce that should be burnt.

I will always have that fear in me that one day that he will come back, knocking on my door, again.

Sometimes, I get so anger that I wish he would die from choking on his own vomit.

[edible_eye]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

No. No thoughts. I hate you.

god damn it, xnguela - you're hot. oh, and light, i agree with al. you are mother-fuckin' -

http://0wn3d.dk/owned/ownedSlide.jpg



rockandrose -

http://storage.msn.com/x1pbglk-vqL4B...FIzpfBjV8_D3Sg

[tenet_2012]

Alcohol and nicotine are my closest friends that have ever been my sharpest gullotine.

[Saya]

My whine for today. I was thinking that after university I'd sign up for the JET program and go teach English in Japan. I had a conversation with my family about this. Mom went on a rant how the Japanese treat women as second class citizens, I would be cramped into a dinky little apartment where there are mice, she knows people who went over there who would never go back. My sister said she was told never to go to Japan or China (How can you compare the two?!) after she looked into teaching ESL. Oh, and the fact that my Japanese proffessor came here is proof what an intolerable place Japan is.

Mom's secretly racist, thats all. I really don't think she likes Asians. She'll let me go to the middle east, but Japan is too dangerous. :???: And thats my rant for today. Thanks for quickly skimming over and saying to yourself "What a cunt." ^_^

[rockandrose]

Saya, two of my friends will be teaching english in Japan next year.

They're more excited about jumping in bed with the Japanese girls than anything else.

Also, thanks e_e.

[rockandrose]

Originally Posted by Santarea

Gwen Stefani annoys me with her posse of Harajuku (sp?) girls...

THAT annoys me too.

But I actually like Gwen.

Ha.

[~Nix Nightingale~]

I'm in such a crappy mood today..

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Gwen Stefani annoys the crap out of me. Especially since she's gone all gangster. I think she has a pretty face though.

[rockandrose]

She hasn't gone all "ganster". She's still a "pop" icon.

The fact is lately she has been working with artists such as Pharrell, which doesn't make her a gangster or a Hip-Hop artist.

[shattered black heart]

Im so mad at life in general right now! In august my mom died of cancer. I ran away to my boyfriends house which he seemed pretty happy about.I was in deep denile . I finally accepted it and start going home at night after work then he suddenly breaks up with me even though a week before we were making plans to move to BC cause he missed his childhood home! It was exactly a month after my mom died and all I could think about is how much I wish she was still alive. My best friend had broke up with my ex's roomnmate a week before so she didn't want to have anything to do with them again but I was still friends with them cause I'm avery forgiving person.Then her ex which she only went out twice with in a two month time period asks me out of course I asked her primission snd she said yes. The next day after our date she says she's not okay with it and that we aren't friends anymore! I tried to fix it but she just wanted to be aquantinces because we worked at the same place. A week after I finally get a new job then john her ex breaks up with me cause he says he just wants to be alone and he's not ready for a relationship. So I lost my best friend and two good friends.Then a couple days before I'm going to leave my old work for montanas this new guy chris starts hitting on me and asks me for my number. I gave it to him then he proceedsto phone me on my cell when I'm working when he finally got a hold of me I had plans already and he wanted me to go over that night to his place I of course being the good girl I am sais no so he stopped phoning me. Then this guy I used to date just started phoning me again. I say I'll meet him at a local pub and he never shows up. so thats how crappy life is of course I missed some parts but the gist is guys are jerks and I have a horrible life but it could always be worse. Im not suicidal or anything Iv'e just decided to wait and see what happens with all that bad charma, I'm due for some good fortune edvintually. I know this rant is long but please don't berate me for it. I'm very shy and sensitive.

[rockandrose]

Santarea, I can relate.

Attention whoring can be amusing.

[AlKilyu]

I'm so sorry shattered black heart. I can relate, and it is indeed shitty, the whole damn thing.

Originally Posted by Santarea

Gwen Stefani annoys me with her posse of Harajuku (sp?) girls...

Me too.

http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/6...racists5xf.gif


This shit she's doing now is bananas
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/5...hake2cx2pn.gif



I said this shit is bananas
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/2...anas6iq2gc.gif

[rockandrose]

Al, you almost made me burst into tears from laughing!!!!!

[Manimal]

Originally Posted by Empty_Purple_Stars

After everything that's happened the past month or so, you would think I would have heaps to say.. But I just don't.. Instead I am sitting in a Cyber Cafe wishing I could find the words to express where I 'Am' and what I feel inside..But nothing comes..Nothing good anyway..

I will say it is quite amazing that there are individuals that after more than a year have nothing better to do STILL with their pathetic lives than to try and start MORE drama in my life.. And hear I actually thought you had changed when you called my mom during Hurricane Rita.. You know who you are, both of you.. Really pathetic.. Truly.. I have gone to great lengths to avoid even the thought of you, but you just can't ever quit.. Least I still have all of those nifty pics of you right? Get a new hobby okay? Buy a fish.. Something.. Just one that doesn't involve ME.. Give ME the same courtesy I have given you.. FOr a VERY long time now.. Alot more I want to say, but its really not worth it. Just friggin quit okay..For once..Just friggin quit.

Fucking Sigh..

I wish I had explanations for the pitifully few people I believe I can still call friend. I don't.. I can only say I did the best I can.. As Manimal can attest to, medically things just spiraled out of control.. Things went on that even he didn't know about..I became so ashamed of the freakshow that I had/have become..Blood pouring out of orifices that it shouldn't always brightens your day yknow..At one point recently I lost 16 lbs in 2 weeks.. I can't even look at myself in the mirror most of the time now.. I hate the monster my body has become.. I hate the 1001 shades and flavors of pain I live with everyday.. I hate eating and then dreading the pain that will soon follow even the smallest of meals..I hate people asking me if I am fucking pregnant because my tummy is so swollen..I hate the nosebleeds in the morning..I hate the bruises that appear out of nowhere.. I hate the AIR itself for feeling like broken glass against my fevered and pain wracked body when I change clothes..I hate feeling weak.. I hate not feeling like a real woman anymore..I hate the doctors and the surgeons.. I hate the next motherfucker that is going to cut me open AGAIN and gut me like a friggin fish AGAIN.. I hate having to tell my son to be gentle with me.. I hate seeing the worried look on his face when he sees that I am in pain... I hate the fear in his voice when he begs God in his nightly prayers not to let me die..I hate not being able to be a better mother..A better student.. A better woman.. A better....sob..

Seems like such a simple and basic desire, to want to live..

I don't wish for fame or wealth or perfect tits.. I just want to live..I just want that chance..I want to look forward to the coming day when I open my eyes, instead of dreading the coming daily torture..I want to be able to be touched without it hurting.. I want the air to be my friend again..I want to dance.. I want to graduate and watch my son graduate.. I want to be a wife.. a woman..I want to be sensual and seductive.. Funny and Fucked up, but in the GOOD way..I want to run again.. ride a bike..chase a ball.. cliff dive..

I want to look at a flight of stairs and not want to cry thinking of how bad getting up and down them will be..I want to forget the sound of my whimpering, banish my screams of agony from my soul forever..Banish the looks of pity I get from strangers and loved ones..

I just want a chance.. A break.. Some rest.. And the ability to Hope again..

But now all I am is weary and angry and lost within my self and the diseases that are destroying me utterly, inside and out..

I wouldn't wish what I live through every gawdamn day, on my worst enemy.. No, not even you D.... If there is a Hell, it is this, it is this, it is this.. There is no refuge from it.. No shelter to be found.. No safe place to offer escape..Where can you run when you are being hunted by your own body?? When your own body is devouring itself, what means of defense do you have? Where is there to turn, when there is nowhere to turn.. The very thing that should be sacred and treasured to me, my own body is my most dire of enemies..

I'm just so lost and so very,very,very weary of the pain and the fight..

So Weary...

Wow. Where to begin. I've been looking at this post and the ones that followed for days now - still not quite sure what to say.

I'll start by simply saying that her pain is genuine. The fevers, bleeding and throwing up is real. The inibility for her to eat or sleep is very real. I was there every day and saw it get worse and worse. I was shocked, scared, and completely powerless. She suffers from three major health issues and none of them have a cure. All three of them individually make the body attack itself in a painful manner. When combined they become something that I simply would not have the strength to endure. I am really ashamed of anyone who has trivialized what she has endured for the last 16 years - including myself.

I can't defend some of the decisions she's made - in fact some I don't think I can ever forgive. I know there are others that feel even more strongly than I do - whether it's totally justified or not. All I can say is I tried. And I know that she tried. Circumstances and our own fears of conflict and our weaknesses and her severe illness pushed us onto a devastating path of... I dont even know what to call it.

When everything first came crashing down I was desperate for understanding. I totally broke down. I've never broken down in my entire life - I didnt even think I was capable of such a loss of control - but there it was. For weeks and weeks. It still happens. In my reaching out I talked to people I thought I could trust - I talked to people I knew I shouldnt trust. I asked questions I shouldn't have asked and got answers I shouldn't have been given. So many different versions - so many half truths from all sides. In the end I had to piece it all together on my own - sort through truth - sort through the lies and misinformation. In the end I learned that no one was completely honest with me - not one single person. The vultures were circling overhead and saw blood. Rumors became facts and, according some stuff I've recently read, it hasn't stopped. It's sad really - from all parties involved in this terrible drama. The last couple months have changed me forever and I've learned a lot about who I can trust. Sadly it's a very short list.

We may not be together anymore but she is still my friend. I don't care who doesn't approve. I see a very good friend of mine who's walked a dark path for too long and is in need of help. I see a good friend who I've hurt and who has hurt me but deserves a chance to try and make right some of what has gone so wrong. I see a good friend who's realizing just how far gone she's become and is trying to reach back. I see a good friend who wants to live. I see a good friend who without intervention is going to die.

I can't let that happen. Not to her. Not to any of my friends. Not even the friends so full of hate and impatience that they cannot see but one side of the story. Not even to my friends that would judge and label me harshly for not reacting the way they think I should. I don't have many friends but all them have my loyalty for life. It is both my greatest strength and my greatest weakness.

And for my own rant: I want the public drama over all of this to stop. Every time you guys think you are stabbing each other you're just stabbing me. I'm the guy in the middle trying to make sense of it all so I can do the right thing. Everytime one side tries to plunge a knife in the other it goes through me first - I'm begging you please stop. You may think me wrong, or that I'm making a mistake, or you may even hate me but please if there is any respect there at all - I ask that you keep negative comments and rants centered around our circle private.

[~Nix Nightingale~]

Originally Posted by rockandrose

She hasn't gone all "ganster". She's still a "pop" icon.

The fact is lately she has been working with artists such as Pharrell, which doesn't make her a gangster or a Hip-Hop artist.

She may be a pop icon, but her last album had a bunch of songs with very little muical value for her voice? "Holla Back Girl"? That's definitely not a pop ballad.

[~Nix Nightingale~]

That stinks Xng! They let you take 20 credits? Here the maximum is 18, but you need to get administration to sign something even to take that. You are a freshmean in College, yes?

On the Gwen Stefani thing, I can't dance. I have 2 left feet. One of the only thinks I can even BEGIN to sort off half assed dance to is VNV Nation. Hip Hop, R&B, and Rap... I just can't feel. I really liked No Doubt's album RockSteady. I'm not sure if they have a newer one out now, but that's the last album of theirs I've heard in it's entirity.

[AlKilyu]

Originally Posted by rockandrose

Al, you almost made me burst into tears from laughing!!!!!

Anytime I can make a woman burst into tears laughing with all my clothes on I'm happy! ^_^




I have a rant: So OK I am a grown MAN in the store with an arm full of Hello Kitty wrapping paper and other assorted items that are pink in nature with a lovable feline on it, and I swear the were soccer moms looking me up and down like I was some kind of perv. >_< It's Christmas time you former hoochies, of COURSE I am gonna be in the pink fucking section of the store I can buy presents for females too!

[~Nix Nightingale~]

Originally Posted by Xnguela

I'm a freshman, oui... 17 credits is what's reccommended to graduate in 4 years. I don't want to take 4 years. I want out now.

Hahaha... I fell that. Well good luck Xng. Be careful not to overwork yourself. I did that this semester and ended up in the hospital.

Alkilyu- Thats rough dude. You should have started asking them if they thought the stuff in your hands complimented your eyes. The uncomfortable tension that would have filled the room would have been good for entertainment purposes.

[shattered black heart]

I know I rant alot but this time I really have something to rant about! I have one of the most awesome cats in the world and he has been shedding a lot. I have been sick coughing sneezing my eyes turning bloodshot for the last month. One day it got so bad I couldn't go to work so I called a friend and she took me to the doctor. The doc figures I am allergic to my cat so she gave me a shot of benadryl which in shot form is 5 times more potent then the over the counter stuff and sends me home. But the bad thing is she just told me to use benadryl every four hours which I can't do cause it makes me really dopey and stupid. She also told me not to touch my cat or let him on my bed anymore! so now when he tries to cuddle I have to shoo him away! It's so sad ! I can't get rid of hiom though cause we live in prarie country to so he keeps away the mice and he was my mom's cat. Finally I found an allergy specialist and went to him to see if there is anything he can do now I have to get a shot every two weeks and a year supply costs me 2 hundred!
There goes my trip to New Orleans! So Iv'e decided to get a part time job on top of my normal one. Now though my pets are alone practically all day cause my sis dosn't get back from school till 4! I seriosly hate alergies !

[~Nix Nightingale~]

That sucks! I would die if I wasn't allowed to touch my kitties... You should see about getting them shaved. It really cuts down the shedding, also they have a shampoo to get rid of animal dander. It might help! My boyfriend is also extremely allergic to my kitties, so I know what you are going through...
Feel better!

[Manimal]

Originally Posted by AlKilyu

Anytime I can make a woman burst into tears laughing with all my clothes on I'm happy! ^_^




I have a rant: So OK I am a grown MAN in the store with an arm full of Hello Kitty wrapping paper and other assorted items that are pink in nature with a lovable feline on it, and I swear the were soccer moms looking me up and down like I was some kind of perv. >_< It's Christmas time you former hoochies, of COURSE I am gonna be in the pink fucking section of the store I can buy presents for females too!

HA! You know you liked it the attention...

[urian]

People who follow like sheep are fucking ridiculous. Grow a fucking backbone and start thinking for yourself. Life is NOT as rosy and peachy as you want to believe. Bad guys DO wear white; people who lie, manipulate, and cheat do it forever, politicians can't be trusted, santa doesn't fucking exist; and the world is NOT going to be saved with pot, orgies and "love".

Reality is 90% perception. so as long as your perception is someone else's lies, you're useless and an utter waste of space, air, and flesh. There are too many fucking sheep on this dying planet as it is, we don't need any more self-deluded, bleeding heart fuckers around here.

Think for yourself, drag yourself out of the mud and muck of the shit hole of low self -esteem and pseudo-romantic dreams, kick yourself in the ass hard enough to get your head out of it and start living instead of just surviving.


ho ho motherfucking ho.

[horrorgirl]

I can't stand people who take no responsibility for their own actions. It just bugs the batshit out of me. I used to have a ***********, and constantly I would have to read posts by people saying crap like 'Woe is me....woe is me.....I did something stupid and now I'm paying for it. However I'm going to be a dumbass and ask for pity anyway.' Those kind of people deserve no pity at all. If you dig your own hole you better be prepared to be buried in it. If you don't want to take responsibility for your own actions then maybe you should crawl back into your mother's womb, because that is the only place on the planet that you will be all safe and snug like the little baby that you are. Wah...freakin' wah..cry me a river.

[horrorgirl]

Originally Posted by Santarea

I... I love you. I seriously fucking love you.

It;s like I don't even have to post anymore. You said it. Shiiiiiiit.

I'll just add- don't whine and bitch and moan about not wanting the attantion then get pissy when I ignore you.

HA!!!! :-)