Shakespearean quotations - Page 3

JCC · 01-18-2010, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Bro, this has gotta stop. I'm sorry you were born ten years too late for a woman who's started her period. I really am. But hating me is not gonna kill the fact that (and this is very important):

It's me she wants.

This sort of delusional erotomania destroys lives, Tony, I recommend that you go and receive some form of extreme treatment while me and Judge work our way through the Kama Sutra and skip through fields of roses together.

Apathy's_Child · 01-18-2010, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

This sort of delusional erotomania destroys lives, Tony.

Yeah.

Yours.

Excuse me while I go spank the Judge until she cries the sweet tears of surrender, for leading a young innocent on in such a heinous fashion.

All Shall Be Judged · 01-22-2010, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

You're not wrong, but given that Hamlet would have been aged anywhere between 23 and 30, it's not like they picked a 30 yr old man to play Romeo or some shit.

DT is pushing 40 - that's a ten-year discrepancy at least and a seventeen at most. So really, it basically IS like getting a 30 year old man to play Romeo.

Otherwise, carry on.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by All Shall Be Judged

DT is pushing 40 - that's a ten-year discrepancy at least and a seventeen at most.

Actually I didn't realize he was almost 40, and was operating on the assumption that he's the 32 or so years old he looks to me. However, if his performance was really as good as you otherwise claim, this seizure on the difference a few years makes with an actor who doesn't look his age, and wouldn't be far out of the bracket even if he did, is pure pedantry. Normally I dig pedantry for its own sake with a more than willing perversity, but this is the motherfucking Doctor AND the goddamn Dane you're talking about, so let's keep it pertinent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by All Shall Be Judged

So really, it basically IS like getting a 30 year old man to play Romeo.

..... Okay, so you ALMOST got me there - except that this situation is really more like if a 30 yr old who looked 19 or 20 played Romeo.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 01:53 PM

Actually Tony, this situation is really more like SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH AND LISTEN TO THE JUDGE.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 01:57 PM

Now, don't be jealous just because a single post from me warrants a swift and immediate response while you're reduced to chasing her via email. Doesn't mean she doesn't think you're, y'know, real cute and all.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 02:04 PM

I haven't emailed her for a while. Our affection transcends that of verbal communication; it is a stirring in the very soul. Good luck with the Hamlet debate though, at least while you're handing out copies of 'Marley and Me' to college students as me and Judge are interminably locked in the fiery embrace of lust you can cheer yourself with the thought that you almost, kinda, maybe came close to winning a contest with her resplendent Majesty.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 02:08 PM

Behind that elusive bitch's hoity facade is a creature begging to be taken in hand, and once I've accomplished the inevitable I'll forbid her from having any contact with you. And obeying me will turn her on like a tap that leaks LIQUID COOZE.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 02:14 PM

Jesus, Tony, I'm frail and ill; laughing fits aren't good for me, cut that shit out. Perhaps beyond the Judge's steely exterior is a woman waiting to be swept from her feet, but the implication that you are the man for the job is like the plot of an obnoxiously absurd Coens movie, except that instead of Steve Buscemi and his blonde friend fucking you over, you just get to see Judge sucking my dick with that trademark redheaded fervour. Keep plugging though, man, maybe she'll let you kiss her cheek on New Year's Eve.

Ben Lahnger · 01-22-2010, 02:29 PM

Yeah, nothing sexual about that post.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Yeah, nothing sexual about that post.

I'm allowed to be overtly sexual, people like me.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 02:39 PM

Bro, it’s a beautiful dream, but face the reality – you’ll be lucky if you get a kiss on the forehead and your hair ruffled. Especially now that it’s become apparent that all these months of careful courtly shit and quasi-chaste flirtation on your part have degenerated into the coarse image of Judge on her knees you’ve just revealed. Dude, seriously, kill a hooker if you need to, but you have got to find a way past this maiden/mother/whore dichotomy you’ve built your obsession on.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Bro, it’s a beautiful dream, but face the reality – you’ll be lucky if you get a kiss on the forehead and your hair ruffled. Especially now that it’s become apparent that all these months of careful courtly shit and quasi-chaste flirtation on your part have degenerated into the coarse image of Judge on her knees you’ve just revealed. Dude, seriously, kill a hooker if you need to, but you have got to find a way past this maiden/mother/whore dichotomy you’ve built your obsession with her on.

Fuck you man, Oedipus rode the maiden/mother/whore wave to pussy paradise; and if anyone here is a Greek hero, it's me.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 02:54 PM

Know how you know when it's pussy paradise? The chick doesn't off herself afterwards, and self-inflicted blindness remains a mere squeamish curiosity. This state of affairs generally means you're doing it wrong.

JCC · 01-22-2010, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Know how you know when it's pussy paradise? The chick doesn't off herself afterwards, and self-inflicted blindness remains a mere squeamish curiosity. This state of affairs generally means you're doing it wrong.

Live in the now, bro. This is why Judge needs a younger man.

Apathy's_Child · 01-22-2010, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Live in the now, bro. This is why Judge needs a younger man.

I'm three years younger.

Can't fight destiny, kiddo.

ivett16 · 01-23-2010, 03:07 AM

give me my romeo , and when i shall die ,take him and cut him out in little stars ,and he will make heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun.

JCC · 01-23-2010, 03:13 AM

This isn't about Shakespeare any more, kid, it's about me and the Judge fucking.

Apathy's_Child · 04-08-2010, 02:49 PM

So, I finally watched DT's Hamlet. Win all round - best Polonius I ever saw. Weakest link was Ophelia, that bint lowered the tone something awful.

All Shall Be Judged · 05-07-2010, 02:29 AM

Oh, she was heinous. I actually felt embarrassed for her when she shouted, "O heavenly powers, resore him!"

Lord Wotton · 05-11-2010, 03:16 PM

There are so many but the one that I use most often toward others is

you should be women, and yet your beards forbid me to interpret that you are so.

Lady Ruthven · 02-14-2014, 04:31 AM

Oh god, how do I choose?!

gothwallace · 07-08-2014, 05:42 AM

I am a bastard too; I love bastards: I
am a bastard begot, bastard instructed, bastard
in mind, bastard in valour, in every thing illegi-
timate. One bear will not bite another, and
wherefore should one bastard? Take heed, the
quarrel's most ominous to us: if the son of a
whore fight for a whore, he tempts judgment.
Farewell, bastard

Thersites from Troilus & Cressida