Don't panic Haiti, the Scientologists are coming!

[Ben Lahnger]

This article from The Guardian just infuriates me:

Don't panic Haiti, the Scientologists are coming!

SOURCE

EXCERPT: Were an idiot like you to itemise the myriad things that this most wretched of disaster zones currently lacked, chances are you'd omit "militant Scientologists who claim post-traumatic stress is a conspiracy created by the evil psychiatric profession, and who believe the correct response to extreme shock is to touch sufferers with one finger, before attempting to convert them to the ways of Hubbard".

All I can say is, thank God for John Travolta. The Wild Hogs legend has unveiled his response to the unfolding crisis, announcing: "I have arranged for a plane to take down some Volunteer Ministers and some supplies and some medics." For the medics and supplies John must obviously be thanked, but for the Volunteer Ministers – arriving in Haiti via Air Travolta along with scores from other Scientology churches – the same cannot be said.

According to an official press release, the corps will be on hand to dispense "spiritual first aid" to Haitians. Because really, nothing should feel more appropriate right now than gadding about Port-au-Prince offering survivors the chance to be hooked up to an e-meter. Hopefully if they find any gay people, they can begin curing them.

For the Volunteer Ministers, you see, a tragedy is not so much a tragedy as a tragitunity.

More of the article can be read at the link above. I thought I was pissed at the people charging tripled prices for water down there. Opportunistic Bastards!

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[PortraitOfSanity]

Can't they just call on the spaceships to tractor beam people from the rubble?

[Lochnar]

Yep, they (Scientologists) are now and always have been FUCKED UP! To take advantage of someone in the metal state one is in as a result of such trauma is beyond reprehensible. Things like this allow us to see Scientologists as the cult they are. "Cult" in the worst possible meaning of the word. They just need some Xenu cool-aid to make it complete.

[Saya]

Earthquake aside, Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, how do the Scientologists benefit from this?

Unless they're hoping people who can afford to be a Scientologist will be impressed with their philanthropy?

[PortraitOfSanity]

Originally Posted by Saya

they're hoping people who can afford to be a Scientologist will be impressed with their philanthropy?

I'm guessing this.

I like to avoid trying to understand cults though, it usually gives me a headache. Like when I watch Catch's videos.

[LakitaJackson]

Great, just what a bunch of crazy black people need: Crazy white people.

[Lochnar]

Originally Posted by Saya

Earthquake aside, Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, how do the Scientologists benefit from this?

I would guess it's a cheap labor pool. Maybe they even think the "poor dumb savages" would do anything they wanted after being given a few boxes of crackers. Who knows how these (Scientologists) bat-shit crazy fuck nuts think?! But I can see it being that out there, whatever it is.

[Renatus]

Actually I'm betting they're probobly doing it so they can try to improve their reputation so they can get more followers in the richer countries of the world, not to mention they'll probobly take a large cut of whatever donations they get to "help" the haitians.

[PortraitOfSanity]

Originally Posted by LakitaJackson

Great, just what a bunch of crazy black people need: Crazy white people.

I lol'd. Hard.

[Amunet]

well i guess we were all due for another Heaven's Gate....

Anyone have more kool-aid?