Fine line between "know it all" and not getting your thoughts out

Renatus · 08-03-2010, 07:15 AM

This is somthing that has plagued me for many years, everywhere in my life. Where is the fine line between being considered a "know it all"(as in, you act like you know it all but you dont and people resent you for it), and not talking enough to get your thoughts out.

I had my own mother just this morning make the ignorant statement of "well you have aspergers so you think you know it all", and this weekend my grandmother told me she thought I thought everyone else was an idiot.

Frankly this whole problem makes me feel like an idiot, because in my mind I've never thought I've known everything, if I did I would hate myself because of the hubris.

Essentially this might have put me in a seeming position of thinking I'm an idiot so I talk even more than I normally would to make up for it. Or somthing like that.

I'm left wondering, how many people resent me, and how many people avoid me, because of this.

Ben Lahnger · 08-03-2010, 02:22 PM

You spend too much time pondering whether you may be an idiot, and give other people's words too much credibility.

allyssa · 08-03-2010, 03:06 PM

I would feel, that you should express yourself and not be too concerned about what people think. I understand that when you love or even like somebody
you want their respect....but perhaps your family is just intimidated of your intelligence or are very judgemental and not accepting you as you are. I would tell them how you feel.

Saya · 08-03-2010, 07:12 PM

My sister and like two other people I'm not really friends with anymore thinks I think I'm better than everyone, I'm really not a smart ass at all in real life but you know, if someone says something I know is factually wrong I feel obligated to correct them. Some people just get pissy about it I guess, and just assume that if you're correcting them that means your looking down on them. It's them being defensive, not you being an idiot.

vindicatedxjin · 08-03-2010, 07:14 PM

I would just say... don't worry about it dude.

Catch · 08-03-2010, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Renatus

This is somthing that has plagued me for many years, everywhere in my life. Where is the fine line between being considered a "know it all"(as in, you act like you know it all but you dont and people resent you for it), and not talking enough to get your thoughts out.

I had my own mother just this morning make the ignorant statement of "well you have aspergers so you think you know it all", and this weekend my grandmother told me she thought I thought everyone else was an idiot.

Frankly this whole problem makes me feel like an idiot, because in my mind I've never thought I've known everything, if I did I would hate myself because of the hubris.

Essentially this might have put me in a seeming position of thinking I'm an idiot so I talk even more than I normally would to make up for it. Or somthing like that.

I'm left wondering, how many people resent me, and how many people avoid me, because of this.

Yah, don't worry about it so much. People say things all the time. Usually the best answer is to let it go or give them the cold shoulder because they said something offensive.

Sinjob · 08-04-2010, 07:24 AM

I had the same problem you had, you lack some security.

Take it from Kenny Powers.

"The whole world can suck my dick."

Despanan · 08-04-2010, 08:37 AM

I kinda had the opposite problem growing up, I was pretty much smarter than everyone else, but people thought I was stupid because I was so often on a different wavelength. It didn't help matters that I was often klutzy and absent-minded, and spent my highschool and college years surrounded by small-minded idiots in Ohio and Kentucky.

I heard it so much I even started to believe that I was this delusional asshole.

Then I got out of school, and started working in the professional world, hiked the trail, wrote a couple plays and moved to New York.

I gradually realized that I was right all along and they were all insecure morons.

I guess what I'm saying is, take other people's opinions of you into account, but don't doubt yourself too much.

ape descendant · 08-04-2010, 10:30 AM

Its really funny that grandma has to tell you how she thinks you feel.... instead of asking you.

Just be you. As long as you're not harming yourself or others, you're fine.

If you think there is some sort of truth to what they are saying.. you may want to examine the way you talk to them and see if there's something you're doing that is sending the wrong message.

HumanePain · 08-04-2010, 10:34 AM

Be careful Ren: Sometimes shallow people put you down because you are smarter than those around you, and they may try feebly to reassure themselves they are better than you by putting you down.

Don't listen to them.
.
.
.
Listen to...US! The Hypno-TOAD COMMANDS IT!

allyssa · 08-04-2010, 11:32 AM

i agree with humane, I feel it low of people to remark that you know too much or are to vocally intellectual. These are qualities I admire. if you are getting on their nerves you may want to find other outlets for your intellect such as writing or meeting people who are knowledgeable. Perhaps a philosophy class? If you are going to go to university/college, these are the qualities which people will be hypnotized by. in university people are sexy for their minds.

Catch · 08-06-2010, 06:19 PM

You know what is a good idea, practice what you would say in advance. Here is a helpful meditation to bring thoughts into a quicker order so you could locate positive and negative ideas about any situation.

http://chakation.blogspot.com/2009/0...editation.html

A person doesn't have to learn coping skills while experiencing it, you can take the experience and learn from it later when able to relax.

Fruitbat · 08-07-2010, 02:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HumanePain

Be careful Ren: Sometimes shallow people put you down because you are smarter than those around you, and they may try feebly to reassure themselves they are better than you by putting you down.

Don't listen to them.
.
.
.
Listen to...US! The Hypno-TOAD COMMANDS IT!

Agree with everyone but HP has a point. I lived with a guy who couldn't stand the fact that I was smarter than him. He put a lot of effort into putting me down so he could feel better about his crap existance - he had experienced a lot of put downs in his life so that was how he treated everyone else.

Some people need to put others down to feel better about themselves.

Anarasha · 08-07-2010, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Renatus

This is somthing that has plagued me for many years, everywhere in my life. Where is the fine line between being considered a "know it all"(as in, you act lik......teh spacesaving dots...... of this.

I have the exact same thing as you.
I know a lot of stuff about a lot of different things(compared to the average John and Jane anyway) and I gladly share them with everyone.
I spent a lot of time wondering if people hated me for it and stuff.
But in the end, I decided that if they had a problem with it, they would have to tell me themselves, otherwise I didn't bother caring about it.
That helped me a lot.