Rant Thread II

[Versus]

Would you like to talk?

[Solumina]

Honestly what I want more than anything is for someone to hug me really tightly and let me cry myself to sleep on their shoulder.

[Solumina]

I know I'll get through this and everything, I just don't know why I'm having such a hard time. We've been apart for months at a time before and it isn't like I don't have loving supportive friends and family but I still feel so fucking isolated, which is incredibly stupid and I hate myself for feeling that way.

[Solumina]

On top of that I know that his family misses him dearly, I don't think he has ever been away from them for more than a couple of weeks, even when he was in school they were just around the corner and would come up to take us out to dinner or have us over to their house, I know his mom is having an especially hard time dealing with him being gone, so I feel really selfish whining to them about how much I miss him. My family on the other hand is super worried that I'm going to fall back into depression, which in their minds depression=wanting to die, even though I never made a single suicide attempt so I don't want them to know how bad it is because then they will spend all of their time worrying about me, especially my mother as she is already semi-freaking out about me because she knows I cried once.

As for friends I have realized that I have all of one really, really good friend in the area and she is great for advice and stuff but she is really rational about everything so the whole just being there for someone while they are crying thing doesn't work out too well. Hopefully going back home and visiting my friends there will help.

[Solumina]

So really to answer your question: no I don't want to talk, I want to have a pity party and beat AC for the title of the emoest emo kid.

[Fruitbat]

Sol - only natural for you to feel that way. Jake will be through his training soon. Try and fill your days with something, look forward to the phone calls and just think about the great sex/hugs/kisses you'll have when the two of you are together again.


I used to feel like that when MrBat went away for work. I'd be all friggin' miserable, but then I got to the point where I got sick of myself for being all emo, and started to enjoy it but then I'm pretty content with my own company.

Ugh... I need to work on job applications... shit.

[Solumina]

Spent an hour crying and hugging my adorable bat pillow, then distracted myself with cracked articles for another hour. I feel remarkably better.

[MissCheyenne]

I kinda wish I hadn't already read the Song of Ice and Fire books because it's spoiling my enjoyment of the tv show Game of Thrones because I already know what's going to happen. Plus I really have to bite my tongue so I don't give out spoilers to the people who I know haven't read the books.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Solumina

Spent an hour crying and hugging my adorable bat pillow, then distracted myself with cracked articles for another hour. I feel remarkably better.

yah!



I had one of those mornings when everything went wrong. Actually had one of those nights where all babybat wanted to do was sleep with him mum, so it was a case of trying to get some alone time with MrBat and then comfort babybat, and he was restless last night - of course you can't go to sleep while they are awake (unless you want to find the house smeared in nappy cream), so I was lying there wide awake for half the night until he settled.


Then I had one of those mornings, where everything that could go wrong did and I'm still cleaning up from it... sigh...

[MissCheyenne]

I am so tired. One of the medications I take has just been increased and it's making me so tired that I can't think straight. I'm hoping the sleepiness wears off like it did when I first started taking the drug as I can't spend all my time sleeping.

[honeythorn]

My oldest brother is such a neurotic asshole.

He called me on Monday ( I was in Denmark ) and after hello his opening line was " why didn't you tell me dad has cancer? "

.....PARDON?

Turns out my dad does NOT have cancer of the usual variety, what he actually has is a fatty lymphoma, it's a lump he's had on his side for a good long while. He gets ganglions so he figured it was one of those, but recently it hurts if he presses it ( like leaning on that area or something )

So he went to the doctor who referred him to the hospital, and fatty lymphoma is the diagnosis. It's just a benign fatty lump. Not remotely dangerous, though it will eventually be removed in a small operation.

My brother however, has convinced himself that it's dangerous and that Dad will practically drop dead from it at any time. He was like " cancer is cancer!! " , and " Gran died of cancer! " ....yes, Gran on MOTHER'S side of the family ( cancer and diabetes runs in mother's side but not father's ) .


But basically until he called me my brother was the last to know, as father hadn't told him. He called me to HAVE A GO AT ME for not telling him. Sorry but why is it suddenly my job to act as a messenger? If my dad has something wrong it's up to him to tell who he likes, not me. My brother basically thinks he has a right to know, actually he doesn't. No one does.

Admittedly he wasn't aware I was in Denmark and had no idea myself, but rather than say " did you know dad has [whatever] " and then waiting for my reply or reaction, he just launched into " Why ddn't you tell me Dad has Cancer? "

I mean.... what if my dad actually DID have full on cancer? What a fucking way to let me know!!!

I know he's stressed due to his wife (who is basically dying) but for someone who spends as much time in a hospital and talking to so many doctors, he seems a bit slow on the notion that benign means not dangerous.

The weed smoking hasn't helped either.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by MissCheyenne

I am so tired. One of the medications I take has just been increased and it's making me so tired that I can't think straight. I'm hoping the sleepiness wears off like it did when I first started taking the drug as I can't spend all my time sleeping.

Sorry to hear this MissC. Hope your body aclimatises to the new meds soon.

[Angelic Dissonance2]

^^^ I've had a similar problem--only mine is over-exertion. I work 12 hour shifts, and I'm on my feet lifting and doing technical tasks all day.

I know I haven't been eating right, either, but I'll admit it--I'm slightly ignorant when it comes to meal planning. (I'm a dope cook, though!)

If anyone knows what I can eat that'll help me get throught the day, I'd appreciate it. We don't get lunch breaks--we kinda have to eat on the fly.

[Jackson Cutler]

Wah Wah wah. Uni deadlines. Relationship bullshit. Lack of money. Need of money, Sleep pattern problems.

There, I think I'm done.

[Haejin]

Oh the life of a twenty something....

[Solumina]

I'm visiting my mother, I knew it would be a little cooler up here but I didn't know it would be this cold, it's 45 up here right now, I didn't even bring a coat, just a jacket

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Angelic Dissonance2

^^^ I've had a similar problem--only mine is over-exertion. I work 12 hour shifts, and I'm on my feet lifting and doing technical tasks all day.

I know I haven't been eating right, either, but I'll admit it--I'm slightly ignorant when it comes to meal planning. (I'm a dope cook, though!)

If anyone knows what I can eat that'll help me get throught the day, I'd appreciate it. We don't get lunch breaks--we kinda have to eat on the fly.

Lean protien; water; vegetables; tub of yoghurt

So you could say steam/grill 1/2 a chicken breast, with some vegies (carrot sticks, celery with say some hommus) or some other steamed vegies. At least 2 Litres of water (what's that 1/2 gallon?) Yoghurt for your calcium or cheese.

Cut it all into slices or finger food size so you can grab some. Also it's better if you take say 5-10 minutes to actually sit and focus on your food so your aware that you are eating, so you won't be tempted to pick on junk food later on.

Being a guy, depending on your height/weight, you'll probably need more protien (can't remember the ratios off the top of my head).

Of course if you are a vegan or a vegitarian then you'll be looking at other sources of protiens - slow cookers or pressure cookers are great for making cooking things like lentils and beans a little less time consuming (I love my slow cooker/crock pot) You just shove everything in in the morning and have dinner cooked at night.

Or you could cook things like tuna mornays, and then eat the leftovers the next day at work.

[Angelic Dissonance2]

Dude, one thing that's difficult is remembering to sit. At all. I think without cigarettes, I might just forget altogether. :C Not a good idea.

Chicken breast, huh...? That's a good idea. I've been relying FAR too much on Coney Island and Happy China... It's very easy to fall into fast food.

[Jackson Cutler]

Worst Beershits ever. EVER.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Angelic Dissonance2

Dude, one thing that's difficult is remembering to sit. At all. I think without cigarettes, I might just forget altogether. :C Not a good idea.

Chicken breast, huh...? That's a good idea. I've been relying FAR too much on Coney Island and Happy China... It's very easy to fall into fast food.

Whatever meat you prefer you eat...

You'll get to a certain age and take out will just make you feel crappy - lethargic et al, then you'll eat more take out and just get fatter and fatter.

Plus you need to look after your body so it will look after you when you get older.

**rant**
Babybat is sick. Temperature and wants to cuddle his mum. Going to be a long night for me.

[Apathy's_Child]

Originally Posted by Solumina

So really to answer your question: no I don't want to talk, I want to have a pity party and beat AC for the title of the emoest emo kid.

Wanna fight for the crown? I challenge you to a WEEP-OFF.

Hope you're feeling better, doll. Those blues are a bitch and a half. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends - I know it feels like you're inflicting yourself when you're all up in your head, but if they're solid, they'll deal.

[Solumina]

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Wanna fight for the crown? I challenge you to a WEEP-OFF.

On Saturday I was woken up by Storm (my mother's boyfriend's cat) jumping up on my bed and headbutting me, it was so adorable that I cried for a solid 15 minutes, and was all sniffly and about to cry for about an hour after that. Poor kitty looked so concerned.

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Hope you're feeling better, doll. Those blues are a bitch and a half. Don't be afraid to lean on your friends - I know it feels like you're inflicting yourself when you're all up in your head, but if they're solid, they'll deal.

Thanks AC, I am doing quite a bit better. I was hoping that some one on one time with my mom would help but her boyfriend was there all weekend (I had thought he was just going to be there for dinner on Friday but apparently that wasn't the plan), thankfully my friend Steph really stepped up and I think we spent like 7 hours just talking on Saturday. And then today I spent loads of time with Caity, getting absolutely smashed so she got passed the whole not liking hugs thing because when you are that drunk hugging and leaning on each other so you don't fall down are kind of indistinguishable.

[Pineapple_Juice]

My gums are flappy and shredded in the back due to partially emerged wisdom teeth and on eis all flared up and oozing pus. it hoits.

Also my girlfriend's dad is having surgery for serious gallbladder issues and they found a 9.5 cm lump in his liver.

[Solumina]

I have to be at work in 6.5 hours and I haven't even gotten ready for bed yet. Fuck morning shift.

(actually I really prefer morning shift, just not for a single week, I need time to re-acclimate to a normal-ish schedule instead of still functioning like I'm on evening shift)

[Saya]

I feel you. I usually close in the evenings but I had to be in at 1 today, and THAT felt like a lot. I wanna switch to morning shifts but making the transition is going to be hell.