.: Randomness :. - Page 243

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 05:47 AM

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he doesn't cry.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a laptop. All he does is boxhouse-kick a nerd into his back pocket to tell him anything he doesn't know. Which is nothing.

Ben Lahnger · 02-23-2006, 06:51 AM

Xng, how does one become Site Administrator at the age of 13, and not know how to spell "throne"? Of course, I could have missed something because I'm viewing this all on the compressed, no-graphic format of my PDA browser, but I don't think so. Is this as scary as it seems to me?

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xnguela

https://www.gothic.net/boards/member.php?u=6512

Here's something random.

She's 13.

That's kinda hard to believe seeing how she joined 5 days ago. That must be a mistake.

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-23-2006, 07:14 AM

I'm confused. Where did the White Witch come from, and why are we talking about her?

What did I miss?

Justmeuk · 02-23-2006, 07:24 AM

Hi
I've just joined...so... hi!

Wise Child · 02-23-2006, 07:39 AM

Hi and welcome. Please read For the Newbies, at the top of every forum, and make an introduction thread in the introduction section, so that the existing members can welcome you properly.

Have fun! (Not too much though...)

Queenofdarkness57 · 02-23-2006, 07:49 AM

I love your av Justmeuk. I'm having a really bad hair day! * sob*

02-23-2006, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Xng, how does one become Site Administrator at the age of 13, and not know how to spell "throne"? Of course, I could have missed something because I'm viewing this all on the compressed, no-graphic format of my PDA browser, but I don't think so. Is this as scary as it seems to me?

I believe it's an error with the site. Most newbies that join for some odd reason have 'Site Admin' above their screennames. Doesn't mean they are, just are weird glitch.

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 09:35 AM

Haha, she has my birthday.

02-23-2006, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justmeuk

Hi
I've just joined...so... hi!

Pay fucking attention, you jack ass.

Ben Lahnger · 02-23-2006, 12:40 PM

Way to put it on the line, Geisha! Nicely stated.

Justmeuk ... yep, follow the rules. Else, there be Noob-Frying Dragons about here who will thouroughly enjoy toasting your behind.

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 01:50 PM

...and eating it with a side of mashed potatoes. Be careful.

WolfMoon · 02-23-2006, 01:59 PM

Did I hear someone call me?

*stretches wings*

02-24-2006, 01:14 AM

Weeeee..........it's 3:07 in the AM and I'm bouncing around my room and singing to music.....in my undies!

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-24-2006, 03:48 AM

I haven't slept in 3 days, I'm waiting to go home and snore my ass off with sleep! I had such a crazy weekend!!

I wanna sweep!!

Wise Child · 02-24-2006, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eyesofatragedy

Weeeee..........it's 3:07 in the AM and I'm bouncing around my room and singing to music.....in my undies!

Um, can we get a visual on that? It's just that I'm having trouble getting an exact picture in my head... *wink*

Ben Lahnger · 02-24-2006, 07:31 AM

"Weeeee....." indeed! Eyes, did you bounce on the bed too? :-D

Ben Lahnger · 02-24-2006, 07:58 AM

Random comment about: The New Introductions Forum

I used to love going through the Introductions thread and adding my own commentary, advice, compliments and yes, even the occasional flame of the obvious idjits. But after I've spent 18 days away, there are something like 97 introduction threads. And I just don't have the time, patience or interest in working through all that.

This is not a whine, as I don't for one minute think that the world of Gothic.net is any worse off for lack of my commentary on the introductions. It was just some fun, after all, and I'll miss it.

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-24-2006, 08:13 AM

Well I'm off for the weekend. I'll be telling you all on Tuesday whether I'm a having a He-MiniHelio or a She-MiniHelio.

Enjoy your weekends!

edible_eye · 02-24-2006, 08:38 AM

good luck with everything, blushing!

Ben Lahnger · 02-24-2006, 08:46 AM

B. H. - I'm hoping it's a happy, healthy baby boy or girl; whichever you want.

(Although I secretly believe boys are slightly easier to raise, especially when it comes to the teenage years.)

Can't wait to see the new baby pics (ultrasound)!

Ben Lahnger · 02-24-2006, 08:48 AM

Random: THINK YOUR JOB SUCKS?

Try this...

On your way home from work, stop at a pharmacy and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure to get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, close the blinds and take the phone off the hook so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement....

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am soooo glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

Ben Lahnger · 02-24-2006, 09:55 AM

Since there have been so many postings of facts about Chuck Norris,
I thought I'd share this ...

Facts about Mr. T

It took 5 women 2 years to give birth to Mr. T.

Before Mr. T, the alphabet only had 25 letters.

Mr. T speaks only when necessary. His main form of communication is folding his arms and slowly shaking his head. Regardless of the situation, he is always understood.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Mr T. will also crush your internal organs.

Mr. T invented fools. Realizing the magnitude of his folly, he then created Pity.

Mr. T's pity for fools is used by mathematicians as a demonstration of the concept of infinity.

23. That's the number of people Mr. T has pitied in the time it has taken you to read this sentence.

Mr. T once pitied the sun. An ice age followed.

Mr.T once punched Chuck Norris at the exact moment he roundhouse kicked Mr.T in the chest. The result was the 1980s.

In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with B-cell lymphoma but he pitied his own fool cells until the disease turned into T-cell lymphoma. Upon closer inspection by doctors, the cancerous T-cells now had mohawks, gold chains around their nucleus and were tired of the other cell's jibba-jabba.

On all 3428 instances it occured, when Mr. T and Chuck Norris both 'deflower' the same woman, the resulting spermal battles have caused the woman's uterus to explode in a flurry of pity and roundhouse kicks.

In 1989, Mr. T systematically killed every member of the band "MR. MISTER" for stealing his first name.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Mr. T was originally cast to play Arnold Jackson on Diff'rent Strokes. Unfortunately every time he said "whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Willis shit himself.

Every time Mr. T pities the fool, a pornstar regains her virginity. Then proceeds to lose it to Mr. T.

Mr. T made his van go twice the speed of light because he wanted to prove that quantum physics was a bunch of jibba jabba.

Mr. T's hair style is actually a complex array of antennas that can triangulate the exact location of any fool in the universe. His gold chains can then transmit pity to those co-ordinates.

When Dr. Bruce Banner gets angry, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Mr. T.

Mr. T can count past infinity.

If you were ever foolish enough to get into a fight with Mr. T, there would only be two hits: Mr. T hitting you, and you hitting the surface of the Sun.

Small animals find Mr. T irresistible and can be found playing in his mohawk. Mr. T tolerates them because "they don't give me no lip."

Mr. T's GMC van does not travel on solid surfaces, but instead mathematical planes. In other words, it can go wherever the hell Mr. T wants.

Mr. T took Mother Nature from behind. We refer to the event as the Big Bang.

Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That's 100 fools pitied a second.

Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you're still alive, it's because Mr T loves you.

When Mr. T has nightmares, people around him start dying for no reason.

Mr. T knows the muffin man; he had sex his wife.

Mr. T was actually named after his very rare blood type that proves he is genetically capable of ripping a man's arms out of his sockets. T-positive.

World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.

Mr. T was the first man on the moon, and claimed it by carving a gigantic "T" stretching from horizon to horizon. In his wisdom, he carved it on the dark side, as a warning to any aliens who might even think of attacking.

02-24-2006, 12:51 PM

Yay for Blushing! Bring back piccies!

Ben, that is some funny shit, I love it!

I'm finally getting ready for the day. Being awake and hyper at 5 o clock in the morning is not a good idea when you have stuff to do the next day.

Tall One In Black · 02-24-2006, 01:42 PM

Thanks to the Chuck Norris list below, I ended up at www.chucknorrisfacts.com and have spent the last half hour choking on my laughs as I sit at work.

TOO FUNNY!!!