A Thread of Poetry ( Only Post Poetry HERE!! ) - Page 36

Xxbloody_thoughtsxX · 02-14-2006, 06:58 PM

i already introduced myself in the introductions sections and i don't understand.. am okay i think i got it... shouldnt0 be writing like i do right?... okay sorry again.

Xxbloody_thoughtsxX · 02-14-2006, 07:04 PM

..okay......

Disfunction · 02-15-2006, 05:30 AM

This is a poem in light of what was yesterday; I'm not so prone to posting love poetry, much less angst-driven love poetry, but it seemed like a sufficient excuse to make up for my lack of posting in this thread of late. I don't really have a title for it, either.

By the end of the day,
All is laced with shame.
These thoughts,
And all of my wants,
It's just not the same.

Is it time to fade again?
With all of our dreams,
Is it still too late
To speak again?
Can't close my eyes,
I'm haunted by everything
We said.

So when can I dream,
it's not what I mean to say.
You were the Fall,
So lonely and seasonal.
It's not so hard to live
and to sleep without,
yet it's so hard to forget
what was never there.

By the end of the day,
All is laced with shame.
These thoughts,
And all of my wants,
It's just not the same.

I can hold my breath,
You're not like the rest;
Cold and forgotten me.
A world's unfeeling embrace,
This isn't the case
In a world of you.
Smiles gone so far,

Tonight, it's not quite so sad,
In fact, I'm finally glad
To have met a girl like you.
You helped me stand,
You made no demands;
It was quite sweet of you.
But now, I walk on my own,
I glance at my phone
And bask in the thoughts of you.

These words that I can say,
To finally convey
The moment I felt for you.
Such sweet and simple exchange,
I hope you don't change
Because you are beautiful.

If dreams, if those things could walk,
And if fantasies talked,
They would speak tales of you.
It's not so hard to think that I'd wait
For a moment to be with you.
I hope that I dream tonight,
You'll say it'll all be alright,
And I will know it's true.

wild spider · 02-16-2006, 02:29 AM

this doesnt have a title..

It began with a moment of madness
Laced with alcohol and desire
We walked towards a horizon of hope
Hands clasped tight to transpire
The very beat,our hearts did meet
I knelt before the embracing fire
the ultimate grasp, for a love to last
Such dreamseeds could inspire?

We walked the path, the left by chance
Mesmeric trees enrobed
To grace our stance,where beauty charmed
In endless realms we unfold.
Your very face,lay rest my disgrace
With a cold kiss from within
Upon my soul, and from where we rose
Began our tormants of lifeless will

It ended in a moment of madness
Blood splattered upon the walls
From deep sleep, awoke this dream
Into the nightmare of secnario.
We walked the path, arm in arm
Shadowed by a weeping moon
Lungs that grasp no air at last
Yet the dulcet tones of the funeral croon.

If we had the chance, what would you change?
As we laid in wake for mortal stains
would you suffer, would you bear the pain?
The ghost of mortality, the ghost of you name.

how gothic..

Circle V · 02-16-2006, 09:12 PM

It's fun to think in rhyme...

I can't write while listenin to music
The lyrics I'm hearing are damn fine
But they tend to stick
And this rhyme scheme pisses me off
But I like it
Because it's mine

Mr E's beautiful blues
By the title everyone knows
That they are very much blue
And beautiful
I suppose
If you like that sort of thing
And I think I do

wild spider · 02-17-2006, 02:39 AM

Quote:

Why does your title say "Take me to your goth as fuck"?

because untill recently i was a perky goth, so it said take me to your perky goth. like leader. i just have'nt got round to changing it. Yeah it was crappy.

it's funny how explaining jokes makes you feel like such a jerk...

and yes rhyming Is fun

Lackluster_Heavens · 02-17-2006, 02:55 AM

This is one of my better ones. Still really doesn't even compare to many I have read on this thread.

You once told me
It's too cold for philosophy
Now I think I know what you mean
These few weeks that I have seen
The way the world flows
Like a stream to and fro
I know now I can almost feel
As through this arrow has been taken from my Achilles Heel
The lies that flow
The lies that sew
The seeds for the future
The drip drip dripping end to what we once knew
For all the things you've showed me and I you
Feel the tug tugging down
We all leave this town
For the past, and for the rest
The rest, oh how they fester
And cry and sing to the sky
To the angels in all our eyes
The ones that bring me closer to heaven
The free love freely given
The love we share and the times we hold
But I believe now it's time to fold
The hands fate has delt and deicide on our own
Which of these seeds we want sown.

BlackPaladin · 02-17-2006, 03:52 AM

Perfect as a black rose

Lackluster_Heavens · 02-17-2006, 11:32 PM

Well thank you.

BlackPaladin · 02-18-2006, 09:55 AM

No prob.
_______

A flash in the Night
Get ready for a Fight
Brothers unite, together we stand
Here we are, waiting until the end
Angels of Time, Guardians of Mercy
The Hammer will Rise, a journey must Proceed
Our hero's return, fighting against the Lord
Guarded with death, with the Lords victory.

Raven SilverWolf · 02-20-2006, 11:59 PM

As you read in this poem, I obviously have issues with my mother...but I'm proud of this poem because it helped me realize not everything was okay.

My secret suicide

Cutting lightly,
Cutting shard,
Bleeding gray,
Eyes turn hard
Death abundant,
Death is near
Your voice is so gentle
It’s hard to hear

Skin grows cold
Skin grows soft
Blood drips down mommy’s tablecloth
Worry leaves me
Worry dies

Slicing gently
Slicing swift
Death is not scary,
Tis a gift.

Mommy finds me
Bathroom floor
I’ve left my body
I am no more.

Mommy miss me
Mommy dear
I know I fool myself
For your not really here.

I imagine your tears
And my death waking your fears.
Your not Home
I was always alone.

So Mommy won’t find me
Till I am but bone.
I love you mommy
You love me not
My carcass is rotting
Yet I’m not in thought.

Metatron · 02-21-2006, 11:36 AM

I like the imagery, but I hate the subject. Can we get off suicide? Maybe for a day? OR, we could have a 'Post Your Suicide Poems Day'. It could be Monday...or Thursday...or Christmas.

Raven SilverWolf · 02-21-2006, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metatron

I like the imagery, but I hate the subject. Can we get off suicide? Maybe for a day? OR, we could have a 'Post Your Suicide Poems Day'. It could be Monday...or Thursday...or Christmas.

..yes i know it is a very common subject but i wrote this actually near death...and about the spelling errors, I am sorry for that also. I was not thinking of grammar at the moment : )

Lackluster_Heavens · 02-22-2006, 02:31 AM

One I just wrote, sitting on a cliff watching the snow fall. I know the flow of it is horrible.

The snow was gently falling
And the sky was slowly swallowing
The stars, And on this face of rock
I couldn't help but be a perfect state of shock
The beauty and the stillness
And all the world seemed to address
Me, and the trees were the night
And the sky was the light
My feet dangling at the edge of the world
And the winds around me swirled
Somehow, somewhere a girl cried
And upon the winds a howl died
In this perfect silent night
Next to me a blue bird took flight
Quietly into the darkness, and somehow I knew
The beauty of it all, couldn't compare to the beauty of you.

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-22-2006, 08:05 AM

Broken Heart

shadowlands
in my mind
stepping away
walking back
through time

Dagger to the heart
Gunshot to the chest

missing you
missing the me
i used to be
missing...

Second Chance
wasted once
wasted twice
thrice...

Time of My Life

gone now

Teeth bared
Broken nails

step away
step back
crooked smile
tragedy
half wit emotions
hormone memory

God

i still miss you.

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-23-2006, 01:41 AM

Thank you for the criticism and compliment, Xng.

Deviant Kitten · 02-23-2006, 04:20 AM

I vote that no one answers this twat. No response = no reason for trolls to keep coming here. Sure it's fun to flame 'em, but that's what they live for, and they're unworthy of being our bitches *twisted smile*

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-23-2006, 04:23 AM

Yes, try not to feed the trolls - it's just that many more posts that our EPS will have to clean up, and she has enough to deal with already. Let's not cause her to *spork* any more than necessary.

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 07:18 AM

What an asshole. Anyways, Blushing Heliophobe, I really enjoyed it just because of its simplicity. Xng is right when it comes to flowing. I think you break up the lines too much. Please don't mind if I break up the poem a little bit:

I think instead of reading:

shadowlands
in my mind
stepping away
walking back
through time

It should read:

shadowlands in my mind
stepping away
walking back through time

It makes the thoughts a bit more whole to comprehend. You also might think about choosing different words to make it flow a bit more better...sometimes syllables really don't matter, it's just how the words sound. Take the phrase 'walking back through time'. I really like it, but it doesn't sound good with what you have there. You could change 'walking' to another verb, like drifting, floating, etc. Another idea would be to just 'fancy' up the phrase, as I like to call it. Instead of coming straight out and saying that, you could make the reading guess what you mean by speaking metaphorically, or using more sophisticated words strung together.

With 'dagger to the hear; gunshot to the chest', I think it takes away from the sense of nature to the poem. The rest of your poem seems to fit with anyone in any society or any time, but when you add a gun and a dagger in there it brings it up to the modern age. Especially since you're talking about walking back in time, which could mean anything to the reader, which could be anyone, I think you should reconsider using other items. Maybe you could use darker emotions? 'Sadness to the heart, grief to the chest'...I'm just experimenting. It was well thought of, and I like the idea that it doesn't have to do with suicide. Good work!

Blushing Heliophobe · 02-23-2006, 07:23 AM

Your ideas about flow are pretty right on - I am going to tweak it a bit and re-post it later. Thank you

Oh, and the dagger/gunshot part wasn't suicidal. It was about how voilently you can experience emotions when someone you care about chooses to use your emotions against you. I could see how it could be interpreted as that, though.

Metatron · 02-23-2006, 08:02 AM

I know it doesn't have to do with suicide, but what I meant was that your poem is something that anyone, from any time period, could relate to. However, when you bring material objects from this day and age into the poem, it makes it more modern. I liked the idea 'walking back through time', and I think it would make more sense to change those two objects (daggers and gunshots) to something everyone has experienced, such as emotions and the like. This is probably one of the better poems I've read on gnet.

wild spider · 02-24-2006, 02:50 AM

just a short one. getting hippyish and environmental..

Tears of the omniscient eye,
rain down on our cities and roads,
this relentless virus scars our world,
Oppresing that which gave us life.

Remember my child,
As we roam these concrete fields,
we are killing the omnipotent mother.

um not to be pushy, but will someone mind giving me a bit of feed back on the poems i have posted, if i dont get critisied i dont get better...

thanks

Lackluster_Heavens · 02-25-2006, 12:43 AM

It's short and I repeat a couple ideas...but personally it's one of my favorites I have written so far. And critism is more than appriciated.

Welcome to the morning view of the town I once was from
The summer winds blowing and the storm clouds growing
And Each of the webs of thunder, arching across the sky
My eyes follow the light,
The beautiful light in the sky of the night
The caged tiger of thunder peals across the sky
To the rising sun, rising against the sky
Through the break in the clouds so my mind flys
It's tangeled web of dreams forgotten and dead
But the one view, so it stays, never becoming new
To light up the sky in the night once again.

Metatron · 02-25-2006, 07:41 AM

It's really wonderful! I love the picture your poem gives me "webs of thunder". As for criticism, I'd say you should try and find another word for 'sky' and for 'thunder'. It gets a bit redundant: "across the sky", "in the sky", "across the sky", " against the sky", "up the sky". Just find a few different ways to say that, and you'll be good.

Nemesion · 02-25-2006, 09:51 AM

I was experimenting with rhyming couplets for 10 minutes or so and this was the end product.

Children's laughter, heard foreverafter
Here I'll sit, a beacon for disaster

Each breath you take, I'll take one more
My tethered heart won me this war

Degenerate disease
Blackfaces with scabbed knees

Help them, hurt them
Scar them, charm them

The Poe.
M ends.

Some much needed constructive criticism and suggestions for a title would be welcome.