.: Randomness :. - Page 246

02-26-2006, 08:37 AM

Went out last night had a total of two drinks at this house party began to have rip roaring pain that made it felt like I couldn't breathe and had to go home.

I have no idea what happened. The first drink I had was rum and fruit concentrate slusha and the other one was an apple smirnoff. After that last one is when I began to hurt. I'm quessing the malt in the last one had something to do with it.

Lesson learned, Smirnoff is bad for Eyes.

Binkie · 02-26-2006, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Hehe, no, he's Tilo Wolff from Lacrimosa.

Yeah, I've been wondering who that was as well. At first, I thought it was a gothic version of Adam Ant. :P

Godslayer Jillian · 02-26-2006, 10:01 PM

I wanna make a deal with all of you.
If I ever become rich while still being part of gothic.net (of which I hopw to be always), if I can afford it, I will invite every one of you to my new mansion in a major gothic party; the gothic Woodstock

I will pay for everyone's flight

Let's just cross our fingers that it can happen

02-26-2006, 10:08 PM

Oh I AM SO GAME FOR THAT!

Sanctus Dei · 02-26-2006, 10:10 PM

We're going to hold you to that!!

02-26-2006, 10:13 PM

I agree though... if I become a millionaire, I sure as shit would fly you guys out for an orgy!

Sanctus Dei · 02-26-2006, 10:15 PM

Hot damn, two parties!

02-27-2006, 01:01 AM

So wait if I win the lottery will ya'll have time to come to my party?

Or the energy for that matter.........

Demonista_Ravenesque · 02-27-2006, 01:17 AM

There is nothing to do...at all.

Really...I'm seriously bored! duuuude, where's the random in the random thread?

rockandrose · 02-27-2006, 06:00 AM

Robster, take a chill pill!

Queenofdarkness57 · 02-27-2006, 06:09 AM

I want an Oreo Bash!!!

WolfMoon · 02-27-2006, 06:38 AM

Heh, that was quite amusing, Rob.

No death threats or anything. Good job.

Ben Lahnger · 02-27-2006, 08:41 AM

St. Patricks day is coming ... a good excuse to party if there ever was one. So here's a few traditional Irish toasts you can use for the occasion.

TRADITIONAL IRISH TOASTS

"May you work like you don't need the money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
And dance like no one is watching."

"May you have warm words on a cold evening,
A full moon on a dark night,
And the road downhill all the way to your door."

"May your troubles be as few and far between
As my grandmother's teeth."

“May the light always find you on a dreary day.
When you need to be home, may you find your way.
May you always have courage to take a chance
And never find frogs in your underpants."

Heh heh heh!

02-27-2006, 09:09 AM

Hm...I know a kind of toast.....but it's not really Irish. But it's sung with an Irish accent if that counts.

It's funny but really crass, I'd best not repeat it....

Ben Lahnger · 02-27-2006, 09:18 AM

==========

Ya big TEASE!

==========

02-27-2006, 09:31 AM

I am not!

Er.....well maybe.......

If you really want to know, PM me. Sometimes I worry some won't get my humor.

edible_eye · 02-27-2006, 01:43 PM

i've always wanted to google you, xnguela. well, since you turned legal anyway.....

JuliaGaltic · 02-27-2006, 02:35 PM

I found this amusing and thought a few of you would appreciate it...

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
______________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh....
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law.

*Thank you Screaming for Sunshine

Tall One In Black · 02-27-2006, 02:50 PM

Ah, lawyers. I worked in court reporting for six years; it makes you doubt that there's any decency left in this world. I never could decide who was worse - the lazy plaintiffs suing for "free" money or the slimy lawyers representing them.

Three scenarios were always fun to listen to:
- idiot witness is made fun of by the lawyer but is too stupid to realize he's being made fun of
- idiot lawyer is made fun of by the doctor
- arrogant lawyer is put in his place by the witness

I picked up some interesting tidbits from depositions. For example, there is a profession called Backup Killer. In chicken processing plants, a machine slices the chickens' throats. There's a guy who stands there with a knife in case the machine misses a chicken. He is known as the Backup Killer.

Metatron · 02-27-2006, 04:27 PM

That brings new meanings to LOLZ, JuliaGaltic. Those were hilarious!

02-27-2006, 04:51 PM

Thanks for posting that Julia, I needed to laugh!

02-27-2006, 04:56 PM

I've seen those before - don;t know how many are actually true as I've never seen a source but I want to believe that they all are.

JuliaGaltic · 02-27-2006, 05:13 PM

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it as much as I did...

Manimal, it comes from a pretty reliable source.. this girl doesn't tend to post bs.

I mainly posted it for amusement anyway though...

02-27-2006, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaGaltic

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it as much as I did...

Manimal, it comes from a pretty reliable source.. this girl doesn't tend to post bs.

I mainly posted it for amusement anyway though...

Oh yeah - not calling BS by any means - they just happen to be one of those spam thingies that have been passed around for years. Like the classic "broken cup holder" tech support story. The truthness doesn't make the anecdotes any less funny.

JuliaGaltic · 02-27-2006, 06:27 PM

Oh, I wasn't offended. I was just trying to make your wish of wanting to believe they were true, a reality, as much as I could anyway...

I mainly was trying to bring smiles to some of the beautiful faces that comprise gnet. I'm glad you found it amusing.