How do you get over a break up? - Page 2

BlackPaladin · 02-17-2006, 01:01 PM

Thank you Xnguela, I'll do that

... so revenge is a bad idea... what about to ignore that bastard :S...

succubus,queenofvampires · 02-17-2006, 01:12 PM

Try to talk to someone and let everything out.Either talk to a professional or to your friends.You could try eating chocolate or ice cream,but you already said that this didn't work.
Try to keep yourself busy;that way you won't have time to think about him.And little by little,you'll start forgetting him.
I hope these might help.

BlackPaladin · 02-17-2006, 01:12 PM

Good Idea succubus

Dammit complicated, I can feel your pain Nemesis.

Forget him, forget that bastard...

How dares he to let you fall

Iriacynthe · 02-17-2006, 02:27 PM

It's perfectly normal to feel Very Very Bad right now, I'm also dumped after more than two years some time ago, and it still hurts so much, but it's slowly getting better, and it will get better for you too.
It's important to talk to people. Maybe you don't feel like doing so, when I'm depressed I just want to sleep and cry, but really, once you take the step to call your best friends and tell them what's going on, you will feel better.
Take some time for yourself too. Take a very long bath, spend some money on make-up, clothes, body-lotion, and other things that make you feel beautiful.
Try to realise that you're more than 1/2 of a couple. You're a unique person, and you should love yourself before you start loving someone else again. This is extremely hard, but it's necessary. Think about it, the only person you're absolutely sure you will share the rest of your life with is yourself.
Don't stop believing in love. Love is beautiful, and although it hurts like hell, it's a good thing that you're able to love someone so much as you love(d) your ex.

One thing you shouldn't do is looking for a new boyfriend to make your ex jealous, or just to keep your mind off your ex. You're probably absolutely not ready for a new love, and it will only mess your feelings up. It probably won't make your ex love you again, and you will probably hurt your new boyfriend a lot when he realises that you still love your ex. One day, you will wake up and realise that the person you've been dreaming about wasn't your ex, but the cute guy you met at a party last week. That's the right time to start thinking about starting a new relationship.

*Gives you a big, warm hug.*

Manimal · 02-17-2006, 02:32 PM

Don't TRY to do anything.

If you try to forget him you wont.
If you try to move on you can't.
If you try to meet other people you won't like what you find.
etc etc

Just keep doing what you're doing. Stay broken up. Cry a lot. Puke some if you have to. You'll get over it after a time and you'll stumble across someone else. When you do you'll wonder just what the fuck you were so upset over.

JuliaGaltic · 02-17-2006, 02:40 PM

I find that not being alone and undistracted is my main problem during a break up. I would suggest hanging out with your friends a lot more. Start planning your weekends early to give yourself something to look forward to. Getting dressed up, even when you can't imagine leaving the house, and going out always helps put things back in perspective, at least for me.

Besides that, just time hon.. sorry there are no magical words.

*Hugs*

ExistentialDisorder · 02-17-2006, 03:22 PM

It took me 10 years to get over my first boy friend. Ten years. You never really get over your first true love. The first two I spent in alcohol and drugs. It wasn't pretty by any means. Everybody I tried getting involved with, male and female alike, I kept compairing to him, and when they didn't measure up, which none of them ever would, I dropped them immediately. Even when I wasn't consciously thinking about him, which that alone seemed impossible to do, I still found myself compairing everybody to him. Even friends and other people I had no intention of ever getting intimate with. Sometimes I'd go weeks or months and his name never even entered my conscious thought. Then I'd have a fucking dream about him, completely out of the blue, one of those dreams that just seem so completely real that you can actually touch and feel everything in it. Then I'd wake up and realize I was alone again, that he wasn't there, hadn't been there in years and was never coming back. And all the memories and hurt came flooding back to me as though it had all just happened yesterday. Shit like that is the hardest to deal with. And that's why I make it a rule to cut all ties completely with anybody I've ever been involved with, especially the ones I was the most attached to. Sometimes I still have those dreams about him. Nowhere near as frequent as before, but still just as strong and vivid. It doesn't hurt nearly as much now when I wake up tho, even tho that overwhelming sense of loneliness still sets in. But just as I said before, time heals all wounds. Some people can let go easily, without a second thought, or even so much as a glance over their shoulder. I don't think those people have ever really known what its like to be completely in love with somebody. In fact I don't think people like that are capable of really experiencing true love. But at the same time, you can't allow yourself to fall so deeply for somebody else that you lose yourself in the process, or that when you do lose that person, you allow your own world to crumble. Either extreme is unhealthy. Try to find things that distract you from him, that you can enjoy doing for yourself, whether it's things you do on your own or with other people. Anything that doesn't remind you of him. I know its easier said than done, but it is possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfMoon

ED,

*HUGZ*

Sorry you're probably having a rough time of it, luv. How are you doing?

I'm fine wolfmoon. Thanks for asking.

For the most part, at least. I don't know exactly how I want to continue with all of it. If I let him come back, I'm breaking my own rules, because I've never believed that cheating can be forgiven. But if I end it all now, I'll wonder what if. It just feels like a lose-lose situation for me at this point. But for the most part, I haven't allowed myself to care really, one way or the other, or to obsess over it. Which I'm wondering if that's a bad thing or not, for myself that is. Have I really become as jaded as I think I have.

Sanctus Dei · 02-18-2006, 02:53 AM

I have a feeling in addition to the shock and self loathing you've also lost your independent identity... this isn't a magic solution but it is a good one that may help your healing process speed up a bit...

You need to pull back from the outside world a bit and spend some time with yourself. Friends and family are great to talk to but they will constantly remind you of the pain you feel, even if it's a positive approach. Take a few weeks to rediscover who you were before the relationship began and re-invest in hobbies and joys you haven't practiced in a while.

You were a whole person before and you will be again with a bit of work.

I know this is hard... I can't lie and say otherwise and this may sound insensitive but... Your only savior is you, pick your ass up and stand tall because YOU know you can.

Please realize, we all could sell you feel good thoughts from now until christmas but what good are they if you don't really want to accept them 100%??

Nemesis · 02-18-2006, 09:44 AM

thank you for all the advice/help guys, i talked to someone, Im slowly starting to get over it, Im feeling slightly more positvie about life, and the revenge idea i like it

(dont worry im not actually going to try it)

BlackPaladin · 02-18-2006, 12:47 PM

Goodjob Nemesis,

Glad that we all could help you.

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-18-2006, 01:03 PM

Well, my heart has been stabbed, stepped on, torn apart, hated, scarred, and almost everything you could ever think of. 3/4 my heart is black and 1/4 of it is red and thats the part thats keeping me alive. I've been to more than 7 psychiatrists/therapists in the past 2 years. I hate alot and my hatred is the worst, and I just don't believe in love anymore. Since an incident 3 years ago, I never had a relationship that lasted more than 3 weeks and since 3 years I only had 3 boyfreinds. Now i'm single and I don't care wether I have a guy or don't. Fuck it for all I care, I haven't got space left in my heart to love anyone and get fucked over for nothing all over again, screw it I'm not up for that bullshit. I don't want to get married or anything like that, I'm just so sick of everything, if I could drop dead and die I would if I had the chance, not to count the number of attempted suicides. I hate love and everything about love, I believed in it once and i'm never believeing in it ever again. Bah! The first year after the accident I just stuck to drugs and alcohol, didn't help much but I'm still the same, like my freinds say : people like me could never change, and I haven't changed a bit since the person I became 3 years ago.

I guess somethings would never change, and bad enuf, i'm one of them..

Wise Child · 02-18-2006, 01:10 PM

It's hard. But life has to go on after a while. In the meantime, have a really good cry and a day of self-pity, involving pyjamas and chocolate. Then, as someone above said, try to keep busy and see as much of your friends as you can. It's horrible sitting around playing sad music feeling like shit.

Best of luck!

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-18-2006, 01:18 PM

I break alot of things though, I smashed my whole room last year. I literally broke everything in it, everything...All infront of my family and freinds, I know that that was a bad thing to do but sometimes you burst up and that happens with me alot. Nowadays, I just sit down and drink, drink, drink the whole night...I don't listen to any sad music, if I do, then i'll probably attempt suicide again. And I don't want to anything stupid, so I won't and besides I want to see how long I last, and I think I lasted quite long. I just love my freinds and I really don't want to leave them, they're the only hope i've got left, without them I wouldn't be here to type this down to tell you...

BlackPaladin · 02-18-2006, 01:19 PM

Hard story IlGato_DiDiablo, Can feel your pain, dammit f*cked up life,
Why is this sh*t only happen to women

Burn the 3 men in Hell!!! F*cked up bad men, only break the hearts of womens.

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-18-2006, 01:21 PM

Well the man that I was talking about was my first love since childhood until I was 14, he passed away in a car accident. God took him away from me and I never had a proper relationship ever again, it's sad cause we had plans, but I guess that that would never happen. Not in my lifetime...

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-18-2006, 01:22 PM

Screw love. I hate it and it hates me back double the times I hate it.

succubus,queenofvampires · 02-18-2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemesis

thank you for all the advice/help guys, i talked to someone, Im slowly starting to get over it, Im feeling slightly more positvie about life, and the revenge idea i like it

(dont worry im not actually going to try it)

I'm glad that you're feeling better and that it's starting to work out for you!!

Empty_Purple_Stars · 02-18-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IlGato_DiDiablo

Well the man that I was talking about was my first love since childhood until I was 14, he passed away in a car accident. God took him away from me and I never had a proper relationship ever again, it's sad cause we had plans, but I guess that that would never happen. Not in my lifetime...

*Hugs IlGato*

It'll get better Baby.. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.. I really don't know what to say that would help, except your Beautiful and Kind and have much to offer the World..

I'm sure your Sweethart would want you to keep living, and loving..

He will always be with you, no matter what..

*Pets Your Hair*

Nemesis?

I feel Extreme Loathing for any man that would break up with his Woman ON Valentine's Day.

That is just Cold and Selfish.

Anyone with a Soul would have waited a few days before or afterwards to end a two year relationship.

Think long and hard before you decide to be friends with someone who values your Heart and Sanity so Little..

I've said it before and I'll say it again;

The BEST revenge is looking like a Bajillion Bucks EVERY time he sees you. That way he can curl up in a pathetic little Man-Ball and sob about what a friggin Tool he was to give you up.

*Squeezy Hugs*

IlGato_DiDiablo · 02-19-2006, 02:12 AM

*Gives hugs back*

Why am I getting emotional? Very Unusal for me

Thanks EPS...You're great!

BlackPaladin · 02-19-2006, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IlGato_DiDiablo

Well the man that I was talking about was my first love since childhood until I was 14, he passed away in a car accident. God took him away from me and I never had a proper relationship ever again, it's sad cause we had plans, but I guess that that would never happen. Not in my lifetime...

I'm sorry for you first love

... Don't know how to help you... I take my words back...

Listen to E_P_S and other people who wants to help you

May the spirit of your first love be with you

Nemesis · 02-19-2006, 10:15 AM

Thnk again. I dont want to start a new thread so i will ask in here, I want to start my own site with like accersories and eventually clothes-when i have the time, via mail-order, I just wondered what your thoughts were? also how do you find out if the company name which you want is already in use? It'll help to keep me busy e.t.c

Nemesis · 02-19-2006, 10:25 AM

and thnx empty_purple_stars , ive relised that i dont really want to stay friends with him, hes insensitive and i just feel sorry for his next gf,

succubus,queenofvampires · 02-19-2006, 10:55 AM

Nemesis,this is a great idea which,like you said,will help you keep your mind off him.However,I'm sorry I don't know how you can check if the name you want is already in use.

Nemesis · 02-19-2006, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by succubus,queenofvampires

Nemesis,this is a great idea which,like you said,will help you keep your mind off him.However,I'm sorry I don't know how you can check if the name you want is already in use.

Thnx, im glad you like the idea, ill ask around i need help with the HTMl anyways (im no good with it)