dating a "Non-goth"? - Page 6

Mr E Nigma · 04-13-2009, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

That's not necessarily true.
Any of those things could indicate a serious mental problem.

I think the point though is the initial physical attraction of a person.

Even if you come to the conclusion that someone doesn't shower you wouldn't truly know that unless you talked to them. So, at first, any assessment you make is purely based off of the appearance presented to you.

At least I think that makes sense...

Underwater Ophelia · 04-13-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr E Nigma

I think the point though is the initial physical attraction of a person.

Even if you come to the conclusion that someone doesn't shower you wouldn't truly know that unless you talked to them. So, at first, any assessment you make is purely based off of the appearance presented to you.

At least I think that makes sense...

Wait, why is that bad?

Obviously your first impression is based off of physical attraction, because that's all you can get by looking at a person.

Mr E Nigma · 04-13-2009, 04:02 PM

Umm... I don't know, did someone say it was bad?

Corpsey · 04-13-2009, 07:39 PM

While there is that first physical attraction, what about pheremones?

Haven't you ever walked past a lady/bloke on the street and just been awestruck by their scent?

It's Ironic, I was having a conversation very similar to Cicero's view with a girl yesterday and we discussed pheremones and unexplainable preferences. Like age.

Oh, and of course: Talent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZaB9urlkgA&NR=1

Cicero · 04-13-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

It doesn't just involved what's on the surface, though.
If you have nasty hair, you likely don't shower.
If you're way too skinny, it's because you don't eat enough.
If you have gummed up eyes, it's because you have some sort of eye infection.

Those things aren't hot, and I sure as hell don't want to mate with that person.

If you have asymmetrical features, it's because your genes have made you that way.
If you have severe acne, you may have a hormone imbalance.

All things about our physical appearance are caused by things that aren't at the surface, what matters is that it's at the surface these things are perceived by others. It's information we can gather about someone before we even talk to them, and will often dictate whether or not we talk to them at all.

Mir · 04-14-2009, 12:03 AM

I guess we have uncovered at least one of the motivating factors behind racism.

Underwater Ophelia · 04-14-2009, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cicero

If you have asymmetrical features, it's because your genes have made you that way.
If you have severe acne, you may have a hormone imbalance.

All things about our physical appearance are caused by things that aren't at the surface, what matters is that it's at the surface these things are perceived by others. It's information we can gather about someone before we even talk to them, and will often dictate whether or not we talk to them at all.

Do you think that's a bad thing?

Cicero · 04-14-2009, 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Do you think that's a bad thing?

As I said a few posts ago, I don't think it's a bad thing.

Tam Li Hua · 04-14-2009, 11:10 AM

If I hadn't already found my Beloved, then yeah, I'd probably look a little deeper into the Goth scene [as well as the Nerd "scene" and Metal "scene"] for a good date. As it is, I ended up with someone who isn't Goth per se, but whom I have plenty in common with regardless. =D

In all seriousness, though, I used to have a VERY strict list of "requirements" for potential dates that led me nowhere. It wasn't until I let go of that list that I was able to warm up to guys, and to actually see what was there instead of my own fears.

Delkaetre · 04-14-2009, 12:29 PM

On the physical attraction front- curiosity also works well. My current male first found himself interested in me after seeing me veiled on a several occasions- deliberately hiding my face with layers of lace, gauze or tulle so that I could see out but others couldn't see in. (there is a context, I wasn't just randomly wandering the city like something from a horror film, and I'm not a member of any religion or culture that veils its women)
He tells me I had a good aesthetic and graceful movement. All the time there was almost no visible skin. I could have been any age, any race. When we did see each other at a bar without masks and veils in the way, we clicked very well indeed.
It's still a form of superficiality, yes, but you don't need to see someone's face, hair or skin to develop an attraction- their style and movement can be nearly as good for the initial lure.

Tam Li Hua · 04-14-2009, 01:10 PM

Delkaetre: That's pretty fun! Now I'm curious as to at what events he saw you veiled at multiple times. Did it have to do with theater in some way?

Apathy's_Child · 04-14-2009, 02:22 PM

I can honestly say that if necessary, I could easily date an ugly chick. The unforgivables are general idiocy, poor taste in music and literature, and poor personal hygiene. I had my shallow phase when I was younger, and the more people I meet, the more I realize how many of them are so intellectually repugnant to me that the only way I could enjoy fucking them is with one hand round their throat and a song in my heart at the thought of choking them to death as soon as I cum.

Underwater Ophelia · 04-14-2009, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tam Li Hua

In all seriousness, though, I used to have a VERY strict list of "requirements" for potential dates

So, I guess beggars can be choosers.

Come on.
I had to.

ZyklonB · 04-14-2009, 07:19 PM

o/\o

*High-five*

Tam Li Hua · 04-15-2009, 07:09 AM

Ophie: Heh heh. That was pretty good, actually. XD

04-17-2009, 08:32 AM

Living in a small country like Denmark, I can positively say, that if I limited my dating circle to goth chicks and goth dudes, I'd be even more lonely than I am :P

6SixSick · 02-20-2011, 02:41 AM

none of my gfs have really liked metal. The last one loved Salsa music and salsa dancing ffs. The thing we shared in common was an artistic sensibility she was an artist I'm a musician and a love of all things spiritual. If you connect on that deep level the superficialities of dress sense really don't matter.
It's weird though that all the girls I end up with are artistic in someway whether it's music, art, dancing, theatre or a mixture of them all. Even if I don't meet them through their art I find out later they have an artistic gift of some kind

Mr.Doobie · 02-20-2011, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6SixSick

It's weird though that all the girls I end up with are artistic in someway whether it's music, art, dancing, theatre or a mixture of them all. Even if I don't meet them through their art I find out later they have an artistic gift of some kind

That's because artistic girls are interesting. You have more to talk about than just "how was your day?".

6SixSick · 02-20-2011, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Doobie

That's because artistic girls are interesting. You have more to talk about than just "how was your day?".

yeah very true I'm texting a couple of girls at the mo one isn't artistic and I get that "how was your day?" stuff and the other is an artist and is full of fun stuff to say they just sort of pour out of her in a colourful rainbow stream.

I find "srty" people to be more widely read as well. Even if it's only because they have to read more and take note of human nature more to inform their art.

Still Jack · 02-20-2011, 01:07 PM

Would you twats stop necroing threads please?

Mr.Doobie · 02-20-2011, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by still jack

would you twats stop necroing threads please?

Holy shit this thread is a year old.

Catch · 02-21-2011, 11:24 AM

So anyway... cough.... I would date a non-Goth. Danny Noriega is saying he is punk now, so guess he is a punk. He still seems a bit more Mod or Goth to me, but okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbxM-LIDvdg

Him and his adorable clubbing way of being clueless.

6SixSick · 02-21-2011, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch

So anyway... cough.... I would date a non-Goth. Danny Noriega is saying he is punk now, so guess he is a punk. He still seems a bit more Mod or Goth to me, but okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbxM-LIDvdg

Him and his adorable clubbing way of being clueless.

Damn it's guys like that I would really hate to meet in a club when drunk without my contacts in. he looks like a girl!!
He is destined to end up as part of some best man's funny speech........

Cat Stark · 02-21-2011, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr E Nigma

I think the point though is the initial physical attraction of a person.

Even if you come to the conclusion that someone doesn't shower you wouldn't truly know that unless you talked to them. So, at first, any assessment you make is purely based off of the appearance presented to you.

At least I think that makes sense...

That is not completely true. You can know if they showered just by being close to them. You do not have to talk to someone to know they smell bad. Also if they do not shower for long enough their presented appearance will be effected.

As for dating someone just for their looks, I do not agree with that.
I would rather date a guy that I think is good looking that is smart and can eventually help take care of a home and a family, then a supermodel I have to dumb everything down for and I have to support.

I have dated non-goths, but it has not worked out so far. The last guy I dated dumped me and one of the reasons was his parents did not like the way I dressed. That does not mean that I will only date goths, just someone that is open minded.

6SixSick · 02-21-2011, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

That is not completely true. You can know if they showered just by being close to them. You do not have to talk to someone to know they smell bad. Also if they do not shower for long enough their presented appearance will be effected.

As for dating someone just for their looks, I do not agree with that.
I would rather date a guy that I think is good looking that is smart and can eventually help take care of a home and a family, then a supermodel I have to dumb everything down for and I have to support.

I agree cause at the end of the day it's not their looks that raise a child