Perpetuity.

[JCC]

Ignorant wiseman,
Sat upon his golden, sparkling throne of propaganda lovehate,
The wall of sleep is crumbling
And I see you now more clearly
Than ever I did before.
No shackles are involved,
No clinking rusty metal cast.
Repressive oppression, the source is within myself.
I will tango under the tropic trees one day
And the birds will throw stones at my face and my feet.
Loathsome creatures.
Then they will shower me with adoration, flowers forevermore, unrequitedly.
Let me play Judas for a day.
I'll be the Messiah for eternity.

(I've used the birds line before, but it's good and was buried inside a shitty teen angst poem.)

[L'Oiseau Noir]

I enjoyed this one.

Though, I must say it was a bit obscure. I'm not sure what it's about; but perhaps it's just something that flies over my head.

I liked these lines particularly:

I will tango under the tropic trees one day

And the birds will throw stones at my face and my feet.

Then they will shower me with adoration, flowers forevermore, unrequitedly.

The only nitpick I have is this:

Loathsome creatures.

The only reason I selected this particular line was, for me at least, it seemed to briefly interrupt the flow of your piece, and seemed awkward-sounding where it was placed.

But that's only a personal nitpick.

I'm still quite amazed you're only thirteen and write as well as you do. I look forward to more of your poetic pieces. Good job on this one.

[HumanePain]

I love it! The generational angst, the triumph of youth, superb! I love it when people write about this theme.

[acidxrainbows]

To me, it was amazing.
It kind of flowed through and around my mind.
I agree with L'Oiseau Noir in that "Loathsome creatures." breaks up the flow, but I enjoy the way it stops and starts up again.
Gorgeous. :]

[beauismyhorse]

Originally Posted by L'Oiseau Noir

I enjoyed this one.

Though, I must say it was a bit obscure. I'm not sure what it's about; but perhaps it's just something that flies over my head.

I liked these lines particularly:

I will tango under the tropic trees one day

And the birds will throw stones at my face and my feet.

Then they will shower me with adoration, flowers forevermore, unrequitedly.

The only nitpick I have is this:

Loathsome creatures.

The only reason I selected this particular line was, for me at least, it seemed to briefly interrupt the flow of your piece, and seemed awkward-sounding where it was placed.

But that's only a personal nitpick.

I'm still quite amazed you're only thirteen and write as well as you do. I look forward to more of your poetic pieces. Good job on this one.

He's thirteen?! Thirteen?! Wow, he's more talented than my reading teacher/many adults I know.

[Apathy's_Child]

Great stuff, though I agree about the "loathesome creatures" line. It's not horrible, but weaker than the rest of the poem IMO.

[JCC]

Fourteen for a month and a half.

I liked the complete deviation of flow. I thought that it was interesting, I'm experimenting with poetic form, but I can understand that it might not be effective.

Thanks, everyone for their comments.