Another Poem

[KontanKarite]

I'm not writing a love poem
And I wont contemplate suicide
Or rave about how one lied
Those aren't the images
That would confide
My feelings

I see a more visceral pain
In the smiles of the strange
And the laughter anonymous
And in unlikely places
I sense your happiness
You are content

It was only a day
Maybe even less
You were all high fives
And smiles
That hurts the most
I must confess

So now I'm off
Lonely, seeking validation
In the smiles of the strange
And the laughter anonymous
And in unlikely places

[TurquoiseXx]

That was really nice Kontan. It's something I would've related to a while ago. It's not easy being in that situation.

[Tea and Cake or Death]

I really do like it. I mean, It's a depressing kind of poem, but it's also beautiful.

[KontanKarite]

Yeah... *sigh* It is a sad poem indeed.

[Noirette]

It's sad, but not giving in to sadness. It's not tortured, but strong.

[Despanan]

This is probably one of the most honest things I've seen you write, so thumbs up on that. I particularly like the repetition of the 3 "laughter anonymous" lines.

I'm not sure about the actual structure though; you've got it seperated into stanzas, but they seem more prosey & hap-hazard. There isn't much unity between them, as rymes don't seem to be repeated and the number of sylables jumps around. I'd work on that in the next poem you write.