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| Music Finally, an entire forum devoted to talking about Doktor Avalanche, the drum machine for the Sisters of Mercy. You can talk about other bands, or other members of that band, too, if you want to be UNCOOL. |
07-31-2008, 08:39 AM
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#1
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: elsewhere
Posts: 2,015
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"If I Only Were A Goth"
I found this hilarious song called "If I Only Were A Goth" by ThouShaltNot. I love it! *listens again*
I'd be thinner, I'd be taller
Go clubbing in my collar
With skin pale as a moth
Dressed in black, I'd go creepin'
While the normal folk are sleepin'
If I only were a Goth
With my hair up, I'd look fancy
Like Siouxsie and the Banshees
With silk or velvet cloth
Dressed in boots, never sandals
And the room would be lit with candles
If I only were a Goth
Yes I'd wanna die
From the bottom of my heart impure
Would I like another clove? Well, sure
And after that, we'll go listen to The Cure
I'd pretend to be a vampire
Like in stories 'round the campfire
I'd suck your bloody froth
Yes the thing I'd be best at
Is impersonating Lestat
If I only were a Goth
In my casket purse I'm toutin'
Einsturzende Neubauten
And pagan hymns to Thoth
Yes the world would be depressing
Over death I'd be obsessing
And this corpse that I'm undressing
Would be sexier, I'm guessing
With my diet I'd get scurvy
And I'd worship Peter Murphy
If I only were a Goth
__________________
Twinkle, twinkle, little bat
How I wonder where you're at.
Up above the world you fly
Like a tea-tray in the sky.
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07-31-2008, 09:23 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cardiff
Posts: 173
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Saw it quite a while ago, very funny.
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07-31-2008, 10:37 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Harlem
Posts: 6,909
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I... seriously do not like that band.
__________________
No Gods. No Kings.
Not all beliefs and ideas are equal.
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07-31-2008, 11:20 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: On the fast road to Nowtown!
Posts: 857
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*insert eyeroll here*
With no offense to you, of course. I mean, it's cute but Voltaire can flip better stuff than that.
__________________
Look at me, guys! I'm twirling my guitar and kicking just like we did at practice!
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08-01-2008, 12:40 AM
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#5
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lansing, Iowa. Come visit me, yes, no?
Posts: 1,033
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I like it because it does not completely slag off goths, like too many parody songs do.
Yes, yes, I quite like it. Very good LaBelleDameSansMerci.
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08-01-2008, 02:27 AM
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#6
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 1,830
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This is one of the songs that introduced me to goth, actually. I'm still rather fond of it.
__________________
However far away I will always love you
However long I stay I will always love you
Whatever words I say I will always love you
I will always love you
- The Cure, "Love Song"
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08-01-2008, 12:27 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 15
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I would dislike ThouShaltNot but for their cover of "Pillbox Tales."
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08-01-2008, 12:47 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 797
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I like it, though too many people think it's Voltaire. I'm not crazy about ThouShallNot, but I like that song, mostly that unlike some 'goth parody' songs, it at least gets the bands in there.
I'd say If Only I Were a Goth, Knock Three Times (Black Tape for a Blue Girl), Vampire Club (Voltaire) and Gothic Girl (The 69 Eyes) are my favorite Goth parody songs.
__________________
How to tell a Goff from a Goth:
Goffs think you have to rip off the wings of a butterfly to show your love.
Goths know that love has already broken the wings of a butterfly on a wheel.
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08-01-2008, 01:07 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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This has been around so long and so far that even the uptights at my work know about it.
Well...because I showed them. And they still gave me a raise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gz98SAndn8
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08-01-2008, 03:34 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 58
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I like that song, it amuses me. However, I did think it was by Voltaire.
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08-01-2008, 07:35 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: London, UK
Posts: 2,065
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I prefer 'Hey Goth Fuck Off' by Chaotic Dischord in the realm of goth parodies. If that one even counts as a parody rather than a general... 'goths suck' kind of thing. Good stuff regardless!
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08-01-2008, 10:22 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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Fucking stupid. Most people aren't goth anyway. True goths believe in satan and do voodoo and shit. Most people are just metal.
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08-01-2008, 10:36 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 2,670
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You listen to Insane Clown Posse, you're not allowed an opinion.
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08-01-2008, 10:37 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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fuck you ****** clowns rule your mother fuckin ugly ass bitch
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08-01-2008, 10:38 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Wow, man, where did you learn what goth is? Hot Topic?
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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08-01-2008, 10:38 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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your mom taught me bro
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08-01-2008, 10:39 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 2,670
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by sickmotherfucker
fuck you ****** clowns rule your mother fuckin ugly ass bitch
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What a well thought out rebuttal. Clearly I have underestimated your intellectual ability sir.
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08-01-2008, 10:39 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Nah, man. You're not gonna find what you're looking in this site.
We have more than two IQ digits, so farewell.
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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08-01-2008, 10:41 PM
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#19
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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then you truly aren't goth, lmfao, he turns to proper grammar when he needs help lmao
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08-01-2008, 10:41 PM
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#20
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Wait, did you just imply that real goths don't have more than two IQ points?
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08-01-2008, 10:44 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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No I'm saying that goths don't turn to proper grammar, they turn to their switchblades
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08-01-2008, 10:46 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
Wait, did you just imply that real goths don't have more than two IQ points?
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No. It is obvious that he's not actually looking for goths.
He's looking for some kind of retrograde thug that's interested in blood and death. He's not interested in post-punk or Peter Murphy.
Therefore, he's not going to find what he's looking here where there's only goths or something of equivalent (or superior) intelligence average.
__________________
"No theory, no ready-made system, no book that has ever been written will save the world.
I cleave to no system. I am a true seeker."
-Mikhail Bakunin
Quote:
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Originally Posted by George Carlin
People who say they don’t care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don’t care what people think.
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08-01-2008, 10:46 PM
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#23
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 2,670
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I'm not sure where you get your stereotypes, but they're pretty short-sighted.
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08-01-2008, 10:46 PM
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#24
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Why would I use a switchblade when the night itself is enslaved to my will?
You clearly have much to learn.
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08-01-2008, 10:48 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA
Posts: 90
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lol, no i found the right place, im just checking out your responses, lmao
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