Gothic.net News Horror Gothic Lifestyle Fiction Movies Books and Literature Dark TV VIP Horror Professionals Professional Writing Tips Links Gothic Forum




Go Back   Gothic.net Community > Boards > Literature
Reload this Page Bring Your Wood (poem)
Register Blogs FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-10-2008, 05:08 PM   #1
TheSomnambulist
 
TheSomnambulist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In absentia.
Posts: 104
Bring Your Wood (poem)
Bring your wood
I carry driftwood
And you the wood of oak trees.
It is time to create an X
Hammering nails in once more with bloodied knuckles
Intaking air that makes you sputter.
Torn fingernails dig
Deeper, deeper,
Lost in infertile soil
Unseen.
Impale the blood-of-eden ground
With your sticks and your monumental stones
Transform, adorn
Become that human ornament most high.
Bring your wood
And say it is forever
Clad in the cirrus
Clutched by a rusting cross.
You and I will pick and rummage
And speak of limbo
I will cachinnate, you will weep
You need only bring your wood.





Any feedback would be lovely...
TheSomnambulist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2008, 05:43 PM   #2
Underwater Ophelia
 
Underwater Ophelia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
Man, this is NOT where I thought it was going.

Giggity.
Underwater Ophelia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 11:27 AM   #3
TheSomnambulist
 
TheSomnambulist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In absentia.
Posts: 104
...Nothing? Frankly, I'm astounded that no one's picked it apart yet and given me countless reasons as to why I fail as a poet.
TheSomnambulist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 12:49 PM   #4
noveleigh
 
noveleigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Louisville, TN
Posts: 118
Ophelia, now I have Quagmires whole "Giggity giggity, giggity goo. Alright." stuck in my head, lmao.

I'm getting a "buried alive" theme or a "digging your own grave" feel to this poem. Is that what you were hunting for while writing this?
noveleigh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 02:47 PM   #5
TheSomnambulist
 
TheSomnambulist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In absentia.
Posts: 104
In a way, yes.

While writing it, I noticed that I felt equal parts condescending, a bit desperate, and buried/trapped of my own accord.

To some extent I'm not even entirely sure what the poem is about, but I know that my subconscious was down to the last straw.

I appreciate the rawness of it, though I'm not sure if it flows well enough, or gets my points across. Any suggestions for improvement?
TheSomnambulist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-13-2008, 04:25 PM   #6
MegearaErotica
 
MegearaErotica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,065
Quote:
Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
Man, this is NOT where I thought it was going.

Giggity.
Yeah, my mind was in the gutter when I saw that title.
__________________
Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you. If I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away.
-Monty Python and the Holy Grail
MegearaErotica is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 03:52 PM.

Gothic.net - Top