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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
12-22-2008, 12:12 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In you mind
Posts: 40
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Funny emo suicide note
Mom, dad, I’m writing this note to explain why I’m ending my life.
I can’t stand to live in this cruel and boring world any longer.
I’m sick and tired of this everyday routine. I wake up every mourning and brush my teeth with the same eucalyptus flavored “SmartTooth” tooth paste. I’m tired of using that flavor. I asked you twice to buy the cherry flavored type, but you never did mom, you NEVER did!
Tiffany, my girlfriend, said we should wait a little bit longer to make sweet love. Can you believe this dad?! I’m 15 years old and I haven’t made sweet love yet! Moreover, I realized she doesn’t really love me, because yesterday, she helped me cheat at a math test, which is not in my best interest!
And then there is my allergy. I’m allergic to nuts. Why would God do this to me, when I love nuts so much?!
And that’s why I took a whole bottle of laxatives and crapped myself to death.
Let’s see who you’re gonna force to eat vegetables now!
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12-23-2008, 09:53 AM
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#2
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Heaven and Earth
Posts: 2,606
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That's not funny. :/
__________________
"Follow your bliss..."
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12-23-2008, 10:08 AM
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#3
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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Go into comedy.
I died a little inside reading this...
Please you'd be amazing.
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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12-23-2008, 10:24 AM
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#4
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: IL, USA
Posts: 754
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You're not funny and you don't look like Corey Feldman. If you're going to ramble about stuff do it in the randomness thread instead of starting 12 new threads before reaching 30 posts.
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12-23-2008, 10:53 AM
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#5
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Your mother.
Posts: 1,044
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Classic.....
__________________
The Overture To The Symphony Of Destruction.
I am the Antiproduct!
There is, they say, no fool like an old fool - Golding.
" All the war-propaganda, all the screaming and lies and hatred, comes invariably from people who are not fighting." - Orwell.
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12-23-2008, 11:13 AM
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#6
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In you mind
Posts: 40
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oh come on people!... I was just screwing around, no need to get all cranky.
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12-23-2008, 11:16 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: In you mind
Posts: 40
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland
Go into comedy.
I died a little inside reading this...
Please you'd be amazing.
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Did you really find that funny, or are you just being sarcastic?
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12-23-2008, 12:07 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Heaven and Earth
Posts: 2,606
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He's being sarcastic.
I've had personal experience with having to talk/wrestle people away from suicide. Thus, I don't find this kind of thing amusing in the least.
No offense intended, though. 
__________________
"Follow your bliss..."
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12-23-2008, 05:11 PM
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#9
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This is about as funny as herpes....
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12-23-2008, 05:26 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Petronius
Did you really find that funny, or are you just being sarcastic?
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You quoted it and STILL didn't see that rest of the message.
LA LA LA LA LOOK AT ME BLACK WRITING!!!
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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01-05-2009, 06:33 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 38
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The thing that makes this funny is how stupid it is.
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01-07-2009, 01:23 AM
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#12
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 650
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That is pretty lame.
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What?
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01-07-2009, 01:30 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 650
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That is pretty lame.
__________________
What?
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02-09-2009, 12:27 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 182
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it makes me smile just a tiny bit
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02-10-2009, 02:21 AM
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#15
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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I dunno. Personally I find herpes hilarious, possibly because I don't have any. It's the same with suicide.
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02-10-2009, 07:12 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Heaven and Earth
Posts: 2,606
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Why is this thread being dragged out from the bottom of the garbage pile?
__________________
"Follow your bliss..."
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