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Spooky News Spooky news from around the web goes in this forum. Please always credit and link your source and only use sources which are okay with being posted. No profanity in subject headings please. |
08-18-2009, 01:21 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: On the fast road to Nowtown!
Posts: 857
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Scientists: Zombie attack could decimate the world if not swiftly dealt with
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Science ponders 'zombie attack'
By Pallab Ghosh
Science correspondent, BBC News
If zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilisation unless dealt with quickly and aggressively.
That is the conclusion of a mathematical exercise carried out by researchers in Canada.
They say only frequent counter-attacks with increasing force would eradicate the fictional creatures.
The scientific paper is published in a book - Infectious Diseases Modelling Research Progress.
In books, films, video games and folklore, zombies are undead creatures, able to turn the living into other zombies with a bite.
But there is a serious side to the work.
In some respects, a zombie "plague" resembles a lethal, rapidly spreading infection. The researchers say the exercise could help scientists model the spread of unfamiliar diseases through human populations.
In their study, the researchers from the University of Ottawa and Carleton University (also in Ottawa) posed a question: If there was to be a battle between zombies and the living, who would win?
Professor Robert Smith? (the question mark is part of his surname and not a typographical mistake) and colleagues wrote: "We model a zombie attack using biological assumptions based on popular zombie movies.
"We introduce a basic model for zombie infection and illustrate the outcome with numerical solutions."
To give the living a fighting chance, the researchers chose "classic" slow-moving zombies as our opponents rather than the nimble, intelligent creatures portrayed in some recent films.
"While we are trying to be as broad as possible in modelling zombies - especially as there are many variables - we have decided not to consider these individuals," the researchers said.
Back for good?
Even so, their analysis revealed that a strategy of capturing or curing the zombies would only put off the inevitable.
In their scientific paper, the authors conclude that humanity's only hope is to "hit them [the undead] hard and hit them often".
They added: "It's imperative that zombies are dealt with quickly or else... we are all in a great deal of trouble."
According to the researchers, the key difference between the zombies and the spread of real infections is that "zombies can come back to life".
Professor Neil Ferguson, who is one of the UK government's chief advisers on controlling the spread of swine flu, said the study did have parallels with some infectious diseases.
"None of them actually cause large-scale death or disease, but certainly there are some fungal infections which are difficult to eradicate," said Professor Ferguson, from Imperial College London.
"There are some viral infections - simple diseases like chicken pox have survived in very small communities. If you get it when you are very young, the virus stays with you and can re-occur as shingles, triggering a new chicken pox epidemic."
Professor Smith? told BBC News: "When you try to model an unfamiliar disease, you try to find out what's happening, try to approximate it. You then refine it, go back and try again."
"We refined the model again and again to say... here's how you would tackle an unfamiliar disease."
Professor Ferguson went on to joke: "The paper considers something that many of us have worried about - particularly in our younger days - of what would be a feasible way of tackling an outbreak of a rapidly spreading zombie infection.
"My understanding of zombie biology is that if you manage to decapitate a zombie then it's dead forever. So perhaps they are being a little over-pessimistic when they conclude that zombies might take over a city in three or four days."
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...Whoo. I just wonder if they thought of the possibility of a chemical cause (IE: Like 245 Trioxin). Regardless, this just gives me the heebiest of jeebies.
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Look at me, guys! I'm twirling my guitar and kicking just like we did at practice!
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08-18-2009, 01:25 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NYC Fo' shizzle mah nizzle
Posts: 1,026
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World War Z was correct! Our demise is nigh!
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Lord Whiskerton grew a stache during his 1 year absence.
Second Account that I doubt I'll be using: MiladyMalice
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08-18-2009, 02:07 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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If anyone needs me, I'll be in the garage building lobos and sharpening my parang.
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08-18-2009, 02:10 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NYC Fo' shizzle mah nizzle
Posts: 1,026
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We have to start storing supplies into our underground bunkers!
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Lord Whiskerton grew a stache during his 1 year absence.
Second Account that I doubt I'll be using: MiladyMalice
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08-18-2009, 02:12 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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No they Foncking won't!
I'mma sharpen my spade.
Also, is there no end to Robert Smith's talent?
Edit: Whiskerton, did you learn nothing from what happened to Sweden?!
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"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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08-18-2009, 02:14 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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Screw sweden, remember Paris....
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08-18-2009, 02:20 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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But Sweden's bunkers!
Yeah, Paris' underground troubles were pretty brutal.
Personally, I think we need a submarine.
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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08-18-2009, 02:25 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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I'd feel more comfortable in a fortified blimp. But a nuclear sub would be kind of awesome.
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08-18-2009, 02:33 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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A blimp would need refueling too often.
Those Chinese guys held off the Zack for years in a nuclear sub.
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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08-18-2009, 07:15 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 9,548
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If Pandemic II is any indication, Madagascar is the safest place. Let us flee in our submarine.
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08-18-2009, 07:42 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Wisconsin(thinking about invading the south)
Posts: 3,693
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There are actual groups of scientists getting paid for this? I'm obviously interested in the wrong line of work, I'm going to get to work on forming a research group on where on earth vampires might be hiding.
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"The chaos of the world viewed from a distance reveals perfection."- me
"Never overestimate the intellect of someone so foolish that they would exploit and perpetuate stupidity in the people around them, for they create their own damnation as they tear out and sell the pillars that support society as a whole, bringing it crashing down upon them."-me
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”- Einstein
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08-18-2009, 08:03 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Cali
Posts: 8,030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saya
If Pandemic II is any indication, Madagascar is the safest place. Let us flee in our submarine.
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But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
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Live a life less ordinary
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08-19-2009, 09:38 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: NYC Fo' shizzle mah nizzle
Posts: 1,026
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina
But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
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Oh dear! My sources inform me that they have the ability to walk underwater!
__________________
Lord Whiskerton grew a stache during his 1 year absence.
Second Account that I doubt I'll be using: MiladyMalice
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08-19-2009, 10:15 AM
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#14
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: R'lyeh
Posts: 2,104
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Yeah but they get bloated and sort of swarm about.
PRESSURE SUITS YOU FOOLS!
__________________
"One mohawk wasn't enough to keep up with how badass he is so he had to get two." - Haunted House, about me, YEAH, ME!
Terror Nuclear,Terror Nuclear
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08-19-2009, 09:37 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: somewhere, take a guess?
Posts: 14
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woah! Trippy. You know there's actual people who prepare themselves for an actual zombie attack!
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08-20-2009, 12:07 AM
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#16
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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08-20-2009, 12:08 AM
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#17
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gallifrey
Posts: 2,817
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solumina
But zombies don't need to breath so they can get there without any planes or boats, no piece of land is safe, other than maybe the poles as zombies would freeze. I would imagine that an aircraft carrier would be rather safe, there would be plenty of space (unlike those little subs), after all an aircraft carrier is practically a floating, fortified city and if you pick up people there are places where they could be quarantined until you can be sure that they are not infected.
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They freeze, but when summer comes along they thaw and they're a threat once again.
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08-20-2009, 03:43 AM
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#18
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice In Wonderland
A blimp would need refueling too often.
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How so? Fill it up with helium, then tether it to the vampire state building. Send scouts down every so often for food. Shoot zack from the comfort of your own balcony.
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08-20-2009, 05:45 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pineapple_Juice
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I know it's just a joke, but there are fools who would take this seriously.
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08-20-2009, 06:05 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Harlem
Posts: 6,909
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You know, I would actually have to say that a rage virus like in 28 Days Later is the most likely form of zombie attack we could probably see.
I don't think it's beyond evolution or even a lab to concoct a biological weapon that induces madness and is very contagious.
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08-20-2009, 07:32 AM
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#21
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Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 1,419
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Yeah, rabies.
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08-20-2009, 07:59 AM
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#22
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Posts: 1,044
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They're coming to get you, Barbara!
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08-20-2009, 08:07 AM
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#23
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Wait, but...you guys realize it wouldn't be like that, though, right?
Like, even if there were a disease that made you act nuts and was contagious, it would still be nothing like a zombie outbreak?
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08-20-2009, 08:10 AM
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#24
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: A Frozen Wasteland
Posts: 66
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Fuck it, the only place that's safe is in orbit.
I call dibs on the ISS.
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08-20-2009, 08:22 AM
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#25
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sheffield UK.
Posts: 2,065
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I don't care if there's ever gonna be something like this or not. I just want green light be illegally and heavily armed, have a zeppelin ( or nuclear sub ) and randomly kill civilians.
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