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Rhyme?
In you opinion, does rhyme often get in the way of poetry, or else make it look weird? I wrote the following while trying to more-or-less follow a rhyme scheme, but at times it almost sounds cheesy. Thoughts?
(indentation notes changes in meter, fyi)
Moving through masses of men and
____women, it is easy
____to lose oneself dreaming
Being more than grains among sand
____And more than solitary
In rows of living cemeteries
That salt the earth and scorch the land
____With bodies ever weary.
And fatalism is a trap
____That traps even the strong
____In sticky worries wrong
Of feeling an eternal nap
____Deprives us of life's song,
Forever dulls the shining sun
Of pleasure, pain, and from us nabs
____Away our breath of lung.
The fear that we in earnest feel
____Does purposefully serve
____To sensitize our nerve
To those that would our freedom steal
____And to thereby unnerve
And force us from our path to swerve
In order to our fate unseal
____And new life-loves then learn.
For fear and insecurity
____Force us to think on what
We value and to what we dream
____And also from us cuts
That which would harm us; it's a fiend
____To ego's vain defense.
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