Children

[CountSixstring]

I've never really written anything so political, well. Here goes

The smell of children permeates the day.
Burning bodies and washing souls away.
In the light no one can be found.
In the darkness there are many lights and sounds.
Angles strung up by their wings.
Demons playing make believe.
What eyes does it take to see?
I can see your cough, limp, and spotted lungs.
Stop trying to hide them.
It sickens me how wars are started by men who are too old
To go out and fight them.
When I stab you the wound bleeds black.
It’s what you traded now you must face the fact.
You feed these behemoths and they tear away our sky.
Leaving nothing but the sun to burn us until we die.
Broken in with thoughts of fear.
Money’s grinding more gears.
What ear does it take to hear?
The dark November draws near with many clouds.
Kiddies grab hold of your umbrellas.
Donkeys and Elephants march on Washington.
But it takes men and women to tell them.
How do you win a war over nothing?
What the fuck are you fighting for?
Bring that lady’s son back home.
Bring him where he belongs.
Sleep in the fire of sickening guilt.
Bed on a pillow of struggle.
Become ill with the sickness of ignorance.
Reap the deficiencies of man.
Die a sickening death.

[NightWolf]

I like your poem.

[CountSixstring]

Thanks. That's one person.

[Velvet_Mansfield]

Hmm, I like this. The way you worded everything made me picture some kind of post-apocalyptic society. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but either way it was cool.

[HumanePain]

Heavy, man.

[CountSixstring]

Originally Posted by Velvet_Mansfield

Hmm, I like this. The way you worded everything made me picture some kind of post-apocalyptic society. I don't know if that's what you were going for, but either way it was cool.

You're right. It's painting the picture of the future. What I think is coming.

[thedoll]

you really can connect to the reader, i felt submerged.

[CountSixstring]

Thanksies!!

[††BlackRose††]

I really liked it. It was so interesting, so deep. It reminds me of the things like the war in Iraq.

[Aaroneet]

Indeed, it seems very politically-charged. Your skills as a musician are easily displayed, as your lines have a sense of rhythm to them. You definitely have a knack for writing.

[CountSixstring]

Both of you hit it on the head. I try to write rythmically because most of the time I write lyrics first. I do this to get a sense of "What texture do I want in my music?" So I go from there. It's easier to structure the song when it's written in rythm and it takes up less time. More time to do more stuff.