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10-04-2007, 09:35 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Drastic Realization!
Mary was a virgin at her age and yet married. This means she did not want kids. If she wanted kids she wouldn't be a virgin because she would have fucked Joseph. Keep that in mind. Ok now supposedly, Jesus of Nazareth (Christ is a title not a last name) is the son of God and Mary. Ok, now according to Christianity, only nuns can be married to god, and Mary was not a nun, ergo Jesus was born out of wedlock. Now since Mary didn't want children, she did NOT ask for God to give her one, meaning God ***** her.
There you have it kiddies, according to Christians, Jesus is a bastard and God is a Rapist.
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-04-2007, 09:41 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,178
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No, dude. It was magic. Sheesh, you don't know anything.
Drake
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10-04-2007, 09:46 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Drake Dun
No, dude. It was magic. Sheesh, you don't know anything.
Drake
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You're an idiot. That was a terrible response. It didn't disprove me, it didn't contest me. In fact in all my years of badmouthing religion that was the LAMEST comeback I have ever heard in my life. Fine then, Drake, he MAGICALLY ***** Mary.
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-04-2007, 09:49 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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You can't be serious. Your first post was funny, but did you just really insulted Drake?
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10-04-2007, 09:52 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
You can't be serious. Your first post was funny, but did you just really insulted Drake?
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Yes, in heinsight it could be sarcasm, which doesn't always work online considering it is difficult to tell. But yes, I insulted Drake, and what?
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-04-2007, 10:06 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: El Paso, Texas/ Ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua
Posts: 9,203
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That an otherwise funny thread becomes dumb.
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10-04-2007, 10:21 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,687
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Technically, Mary wasn't officially married to Joseph when Jesus was concieved.
"Gee, I seem to be pregnant, but I would never fuck anyone premaritally or anything like that. Must have been god."
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10-04-2007, 11:00 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus
Technically, Mary wasn't officially married to Joseph when Jesus was concieved.
"Gee, I seem to be pregnant, but I would never fuck anyone premaritally or anything like that. Must have been god."
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OK so it's not **** and adultery, still **** though.
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-04-2007, 11:55 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: "Under the silence in dreams"
Posts: 1,446
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If the biblical account is accurate then it wasn't really **** because Mary consented - she did say that if it's god's will, let it be done.
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This is the strangest life I've ever known - Jim Morrison
Alas! Must it ever be so?
Do we stand in our own light, wherever we go,
And fight our own shadows forever? - Edward Bulwer-Lytton
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10-05-2007, 04:46 AM
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#10
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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r.ape is legally defined as forced penis-vagina intercourse. all other forms of forced penile penetration is sexual assault. non-penile happenings are molestation. there was no penis involved.
there was however, no choice for Mary. so you can have unlawful servitude- but as she was serving her god willingly, albeit hesitantly, you do no teven have that.
unconsenting impregnation of a perdon by non penile-penetrative means? it's a gray area, like someone breaking into your house with a turkey baster.
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I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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10-05-2007, 03:58 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 1,178
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian
You can't be serious. Your first post was funny, but did you just really insulted Drake?
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I thought it was serious for a second, too. :P
Drake
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10-05-2007, 06:32 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Happy Valley, Utah
Posts: 283
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**** it may be, but at least He had the decency to avoid turning into a swan or a bull first, and adding bestiality to the deal.
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10-05-2007, 06:54 PM
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#13
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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If I was a girl and had a baby that was not my husbands (at that time), I'd say it was god's too. It saved her bloody ass.
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Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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10-05-2007, 07:45 PM
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#14
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 1,888
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No kidding. Not much of a choice there: "Hmm, I could either be stoned to death, or I could claim my child is the mesiah and recieve oodles of honour and eventually become a saint. You know what, I think I'd like to be stoned to death..." Yeah right.
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Harry
A prank a day keeps the dog leash away - Jello Biafra
I want your skulls! I NEED your skulls! - Misfits
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10-05-2007, 07:52 PM
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#15
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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Well she probably didn't know she was going to be a saint but still.
"I'm a virgin, that's my story and I'm sticking to it"
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Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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10-05-2007, 08:09 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Bliss
Posts: 4,374
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No. That's right. Jesus was a bastard. Be like Jesus.
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I Like Cheese!
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10-05-2007, 09:48 PM
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#17
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Murderapolis
Posts: 188
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xD I love all of you very much.
Christians need to STFU.
NAO.
:-P
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Press me to your lips and I'll suck the poison out.
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10-05-2007, 10:28 PM
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#18
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MollyMac
r.ape is legally defined as forced penis-vagina intercourse. all other forms of forced penile penetration is sexual assault. non-penile happenings are molestation. there was no penis involved.
there was however, no choice for Mary. so you can have unlawful servitude- but as she was serving her god willingly, albeit hesitantly, you do no teven have that.
unconsenting impregnation of a perdon by non penile-penetrative means? it's a gray area, like someone breaking into your house with a turkey baster.
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OK in all technicalities you are correct, however it takes the fun out of my statement, Jesus is still a bastard though. Don't get me wrong, a smart and groovy bastard, but a bastard still =)
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-06-2007, 05:21 AM
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#19
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Amarantha
xD I love all of you very much.
Christians need to STFU.
NAO.
:-P
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No, people who spout shite without the information to back it up, who say random things solely for the sake of randomness, and who tell a majority to shut the fuck of for the transgression of a few need to shut up.
__________________
I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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10-06-2007, 05:27 AM
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#20
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Wormboy
OK in all technicalities you are correct, however it takes the fun out of my statement, Jesus is still a bastard though. Don't get me wrong, a smart and groovy bastard, but a bastard still =)
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Technicality again, Jesus was born in wedlock. A bastard is born out of wedlock. The definition of "wedlock" is a gray area as ethicists debate if it refers solely to marriage or of having been of that marriage consumation.
The most recent constructs state that being born in wedlock if being born after the marriage of the natural mother and father. Egg and sperm. Human ingredients. In the story, there was no sperm, so there was no other human involved.
It does bear resemblence to Zeus as he came to Danae, Europa, Io... as God came as the dove/spirit and the annuncialtion of the virgin was by an archangel, Gabriel, I believe. No human, no mortal. No vice. But that references the wedlock of Zeus only, not the women, and they were not married (for the most part)... if Zeus or God had come in human form....
that's a whole other Oprah Show.
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I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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10-06-2007, 01:02 PM
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#21
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada, BC
Posts: 1,949
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MollyMac
No, people who spout shite without the information to back it up, who say random things solely for the sake of randomness, and who tell a majority to shut the fuck of for the transgression of a few need to shut up.
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Well said dear, well said XD
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Better to be strong than pretty and useless
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10-06-2007, 10:37 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by MollyMac
Technicality again, Jesus was born in wedlock. A bastard is born out of wedlock. The definition of "wedlock" is a gray area as ethicists debate if it refers solely to marriage or of having been of that marriage consumation.
The most recent constructs state that being born in wedlock if being born after the marriage of the natural mother and father. Egg and sperm. Human ingredients. In the story, there was no sperm, so there was no other human involved.
It does bear resemblence to Zeus as he came to Danae, Europa, Io... as God came as the dove/spirit and the annuncialtion of the virgin was by an archangel, Gabriel, I believe. No human, no mortal. No vice. But that references the wedlock of Zeus only, not the women, and they were not married (for the most part)... if Zeus or God had come in human form....
that's a whole other Oprah Show.
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Fine, ruin all my fun
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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10-07-2007, 06:22 AM
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#23
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Mars
Posts: 616
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I came to this thread expecting to see a confession coming from you and a good laugh on my part. I click the thread and see a crock of steaming shit served on a plate made to look smart.
Give me my fucking five minutes back!
__________________
I'm not a warrior, but who is?
I have never learned to fight for my freedom.
I was only good at enjoying it.
-Oscar Van den Boogaard, Dutch pacifist
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10-07-2007, 06:58 AM
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#24
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Yew City
Posts: 2,413
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Wormboy
Fine, ruin all my fun
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Ruining your fun is just one more value added service i provide. After your fun is ruined, I will ask you to complete a survey as to the level of fun ruinin gservice you have received from me. I strive for 9's and 10's. If the fun ruinin gyou received/ar receiving is not living up to my hype at any time, please let me know.
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I am The Mighty Cooch!!!!!!
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10-07-2007, 12:05 PM
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#25
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Temple of Love
Posts: 1,641
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Valerius
I came to this thread expecting to see a confession coming from you and a good laugh on my part. I click the thread and see a crock of steaming shit served on a plate made to look smart.
Give me my fucking five minutes back!
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No one asked you
__________________
NyQuil – the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine
Kontan - "Eventually, you ended up looking like the freaking grim reaper towards the end of the game.
Now we got this cracked out jungle hobo...."
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