The Greatest Things...

Miss Cogs · 10-19-2007, 06:21 PM

Can come out of what is precieved as the most horriable thing.

God....Who is he? Does she truly exsist? Or does He truly exist? No one knows. the fabrication of religion was brought up by those who are truly to find the meaning of existence. But what if there isn't a meaning to existence? I believe that the world is perfect. Flawless. It's humanity. Humanity that brings jealousy, greed, lust, and violence. Everday, I observe people showing out the kindness that they are believed to have, but what they don't know is I see it for what it truly is. A act. A bloody act. Do we truly see people's real selfs? Everyone puts a performance on when they go into public. Even at home or the internet, we always act. As if we are on display waiting to get that big reward on some seedy little reality show. Whoes lying and who tells the truth? How can you tell? Is it faith that, in human nature, allows us to We are all actors, acting out our part that we choose. Some people I know are lying, but others I know are not. I can tell. I am not a fool. Like some would like to believe. Which is why I hate humanity, not the world, but humanity. Thankfully there is a few people I can trust and love. A few, meaning two. They may or may not lose my trust but they will always get it back because they are good, strong hearted people with good intentions and that's why I love them. One more then other, but still love. But wait, they are different kinds of love. Romance love, Passionate love, Friendship love, etc. etc. One has all of them. One has one of them. I don't even care to indent for a new paragraph. Forgive my my neglegence. The voices are becoming tremedious for me, they keep telling me things I don't want to listen to. I want them out. I'm calling out for help. Will, someone please help me? I think one can talk to my voices, he can help me. Will he help? Will he listen and understand what they are saying? So many questions in my little, confused mind. It's not wonderful, going through life confused. I'm only certain about one thing. That's it. One thing, can you believe that. Ands its the greatest thing to be certain about. But yet....I cry when I think about the one thing I'm certain about. Why, you ask? Because I wished I could be more certain about other things. I am depressed, I hate when I start thinking because then it reminds me of how empty my mind is and how I'm always confused about things. I never understand what people are thinking or saying. I don't even understand what I think about. It's the voices, they all talk at one time, I can't understand them all. Sometimes...I feel like a radio, picking up all these conversations at one time. I'm crying right now because I'm listening to a song that reminds me of myself....

Mad girl
Can you believe
What they've done to you?
Wouldn't they stop
When you asked them to leave you alone
In all your faerie tales
How did the prince say he loved you?
How did your father die?
Was he a good man?
Maybe someday you'll know

The beginning and the end
Much closer than they seem
Death is but a dream, I know
Dolls are meant to grow away
All broken and bent from petty play
My friend in this world
Is a bottle of nothing
Still I fly
Still I fall

Mad girl
Can you believe
What they've done to you?
Wouldn't they stop
When you asked them to leave you alone
In all your faerie tales
How did the prince say he loved you?
How did your father die?
Was he a good man?
Maybe someday you'll know

Like the water in the well
My melancholy state
Folly, fear and hate, I know
Even time will never tell
She teetered, she tripped
And then she fell
My faith in this world
Is a bottle of nothing
Still I fly
Still I fall

Mad girl
Can you believe
What they've done to you?
Wouldn't they stop
When you asked them to leave you alone
In all your faerie tales
How did the prince say he loved you?
How did your father die?
Was he a good man?
Maybe someday...

Prehaps...I should stop before I depress everyone. Nothing really started this blog. I was just thinking. Then i realized how much I hate being confused and certain with my thoughts. I can only be certain with one thing; my love for him.

DarkPrayer · 10-23-2007, 07:19 PM

You wrote a LOT, so I didn't bother reading it all, but I agree. I don't even believe in god anyways.

KontanKarite · 10-23-2007, 07:32 PM

Okay. Now then...

Sorry to sound distant, but expedient help is more important I think. Find a psychologist. From what I've gathered, you're hearing voices and they're apparently NOT in your head.

Find a doctor. Last time I checked, this is not a good thing. Take care and for what it's worth, I hope you start getting better soon.

There is a duality in the kindness of people. We do kind things because we know it is better to do them, even if it does satisfy our own self gratitude to some degree. There is nothing we can do that is purely selfless. Even martyrs are slightly selfish in action.

Christina_Death1334 · 10-24-2007, 04:24 PM

I agree with KontanKarite. You should see somebody. When I was first told to see a therapist, I thought people were calling me crazy. That wasn't true. They were merely concerned about me. So when I say you should talk to one, I am concerned. Though I don't personally know you, I still care. Truly.

And about God: That's not a question anyone can answer for you. You have to decide for yourself. Sure, people can tell you about their beliefs. But only you can choose one. And I wish you luck with this.

Miss Cogs · 10-25-2007, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KontanKarite

Okay. Now then...

Sorry to sound distant, but expedient help is more important I think. Find a psychologist. From what I've gathered, you're hearing voices and they're apparently NOT in your head.

Find a doctor. Last time I checked, this is not a good thing. Take care and for what it's worth, I hope you start getting better soon.

There is a duality in the kindness of people. We do kind things because we know it is better to do them, even if it does satisfy our own self gratitude to some degree. There is nothing we can do that is purely selfless. Even martyrs are slightly selfish in action.

I already do see a pyschologist. Apparently I suffer from Schizophrenia and MPD. From a traumatic experience I wish not to talk about. Right now, we are dealing with the issues of my voices in my head. The voices happen to be the personalities I take on unwillingly. The advice he gave me was not to give them names, because then it gives them power. He also told me to say, "STOP!" in my head when they are talking. Another thing he has asked me to do is to take on the positive qualilities of my perosonalities/voices and act they way they do in my name, meaning in the "Miss Cogs" state. My state. Till, I get used to doing it and it becomes natural for me and the power that was being given to that personality goes away.

Thank Kontan for the advice and Christina_Death1334, as well.

Thank you everyone who read this as well. I truly apperciate and it shows that even complete strangers can care about another complete stranger.

DarkPrayer · 10-25-2007, 01:57 PM

Oh, voices? Sorry for not reading it all. I heard voices once, and I convinced myself I was, well, crazy. But I had to believe that I wasn't and went for help. The voices are just pieces of your memories and fears haunting you. If you can find strength in yourself, they'll go away. No one can make them stop but you.

Christina_Death1334 · 10-25-2007, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cogs

I already do see a pyschologist. Apparently I suffer from Schizophrenia and MPD. From a traumatic experience I wish not to talk about. Right now, we are dealing with the issues of my voices in my head. The voices happen to be the personalities I take on unwillingly. The advice he gave me was not to give them names, because then it gives them power. He also told me to say, "STOP!" in my head when they are talking. Another thing he has asked me to do is to take on the positive qualilities of my perosonalities/voices and act they way they do in my name, meaning in the "Miss Cogs" state. My state. Till, I get used to doing it and it becomes natural for me and the power that was being given to that personality goes away.

Thank Kontan for the advice and Christina_Death1334, as well.

Thank you everyone who read this as well. I truly apperciate and it shows that even complete strangers can care about another complete stranger.

To me, this forujm is a community. So, we should all watch out for eachother. If you ever want to talk, e-mail me. (christina_death1334 @ yahoo . com)

Miss Cogs · 10-25-2007, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina_Death1334

To me, this forujm is a community. So, we should all watch out for eachother. If you ever want to talk, e-mail me. (christina_death1334 @ yahoo . com)

I believe so too. I'm just not used to actually being paid attention too. Honestly, to me its a rariety. I ever sometimes believe that people on here do not like me. But that might be me being paraniod. Thank you. If I do ever feel the need to talk to someone, I'll be sure to look you up.

Godslayer Jillian · 10-25-2007, 09:02 PM

I've heard voices too. But they're nothing new. They're just the voices of friends of mine saying my name.
I get called and asked for things (advice, favors, etc.) so much that it's just tattooed in my subconscious already.
Sorry about that non sequitur; I just had to say it because I just heard my name being called when I read your post.

Steppenwolf · 10-26-2007, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Cogs

I ever sometimes believe that people on here do not like me. But that might be me being paraniod. Thank you. If I do ever feel the need to talk to someone, I'll be sure to look you up.

I think we may have something in common , believe me .

You can reach me here :

the99th_wolf_teeth@yahoo.co.uk

Take care

Miss Cogs · 10-26-2007, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

I've heard voices too. But they're nothing new. They're just the voices of friends of mine saying my name.
I get called and asked for things (advice, favors, etc.) so much that it's just tattooed in my subconscious already.
Sorry about that non sequitur; I just had to say it because I just heard my name being called when I read your post.

Heh. I find it kinda of ironic actually that you heard your name called just when you read my post, Jillian.

No need to apologize I like hearing these things becuase they make me see that there are people out there oh experience similar things that I do and have enough caring and experience to help me out.

Miss Cogs · 10-26-2007, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steppenwolf

I think we may have something in common , believe me .

You can reach me here :

the99th_wolf_teeth@yahoo.co.uk

Take care

Thank you. I'll be sure to contact you as soon as I can.