In denile racist or am I wrong.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-28-2007, 01:00 PM

My mom is well, very old fashioned, Russian (as I am as well) and in my mind an in denile racist. Here is the thing. My brother brought home an Asian girl, and she just made it seem like it was the worst thing in the world.
"I can't believe he can't find anyone better" (direct quote).
So I said "What's wrong with her" and she says "She's sweet and everything but...." and well, I finished the sentence for her.
This isn't the only instance however. There are times when my mom will say things about my friends from other races, when I want to go to their house or just be in their company, warning me what they will do to me.
She CRIED when I burst out telling he that she isn't any better than the asian guy she just insulted just because she is white.
She tells me she can't take working with so many Asian people, and when I say that I can't believe how racist she is, she says "I'm not racist, I just don't feel comfortable"

Valerius · 10-28-2007, 01:45 PM

I wouldn't say she's racist. I guess she's just not used to working with other people who are different from her.

Godslayer Jillian · 10-28-2007, 02:41 PM

Oh, no, she really is a racist in denial. Maybe some won't call her a racist because of what it generally entails, but it's pretty easy:
She cried because she was told she's equal to a different race -> She doesn't want to believe all races are equal -> Racist mentality.
She needs to get accustomed to diversity.

Utael · 10-28-2007, 02:47 PM

being raciest doesnt mean you dont think your equal with another person being raciest means that you dislike other people becuase of there heratige it doesnt mean anything about not wanting to work with other people, she may feel uncomfortable because shes worried about insulting them, and possible causeing some issues between them and her and then being accused of being racist thats why the term racist is used so oddly in this situation in a way she kindof is but in a way shes afraid of it.

Christina_Death1334 · 10-28-2007, 03:56 PM

I agree with Godslayer Jillian. She seems racist. I have a grandfather who is the same way. I brought my friend over to the house and he's half white and half black. When I came back home that night he said, "I can't believe you're friends with a little ****** boy." I would consider him a racist and your mother seems like she is the same way.

This doesn't mean she is a bad woman or anything. It simply means that she has some problems when it comes to accepting others.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-28-2007, 04:15 PM

Heh...well....there it goes I guess.

LadyLucretia · 10-28-2007, 05:02 PM

You have to also consider that there are generational influences at play. We were raised in a time where racial tension is at least talked about openly. My parents, who grew up in the 50's, had parents who remembered what it was like when "no Irish need apply" signs still hung in shop windows and the Irish were just above the blacks for status. There is a lot of lasting tension between blacks and the Irish, and it stems from them fighting over the same jobs way back when, not necessarily skin color. So I am a bit forgiving that certain family members are not the most politically correct, because it just comes from ignorance and not actual hatred, if that makes any sense. At least we are different and can stop the cycle.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-28-2007, 05:46 PM

I know that. That is why it almost didn't bother me before. But she imposes this on my brother, almost trying to convince me that is really IS wrong to be dating an Asian girl. That girl is sweet, and nice, and my god there is absolutly nothing devious about her.

spoon! · 10-28-2007, 06:10 PM

She's probably not racist in the traditional sense, but Utael more than sums up what I'm thinking. There's probably a hint of stereotyping going on here as well that affects your mom's judgment on this girl.

And I do know a lot about that: For about two months I dated a white girl, who also happened to be 100% Irish. She told me from the start that her parents were kind of racist, but not fully. Their supposed racism only stemmed from the fact that they hadn't met a black who didn't cater to the stereotype. I'd met her mom a few times and she was surprised at the start to meet such a well-mannered, articulate black male that was opposite to what was being on tv and movies. Her dad warmed up to me, I think, only cause I could play the guitar. I never really got comfortable when I went to her house because I knew what else her parents thought of me. That I was just going use their daughter for sex (just because that's the general thought when black guys go with white girls, that it's all for sex) when, in reality, we never did it. Talk about being Sidney Potier!

So yeah. Your mom's probably got her reasons Crow. The only thing that can probably happen is that she'll probably get to like your bro's girlfriend once she gets to really know her.

BloodMusic · 10-28-2007, 06:22 PM

I would say she's racist. My granddad was talking to me about it (he's an amazing person, btw, accepting of everything and everyone and has that wise-ness about him) and defined it as any predetermined ideology or presumption based SOLEY on race. In other words, any behavior or assumption just because of a person's race. most people up here at my school are and it bugs the shit out of me.

High five for racist parents

Steppenwolf · 10-28-2007, 09:51 PM

She is Racist ... but polite . Better than some fellows I know here ...

prophecyofdoom · 10-28-2007, 10:20 PM

She is definately racist. You know, prejudice of any form really makes me uncomfortable. I can't tell you how many times I have been unplesantly shocked to hear ignorant remarks come out of a person I had up until then had a high opinion of. I never quite know how to respond. I am sad to say I know lots of racists. Many of them eventually become much more open minded after getting to know more diverse groups of people, even cultivating friendships with people of other races. However, they remain, at their core racists, they just make exceptions for those people they like.

james"bloody tears" · 10-28-2007, 10:27 PM

my step dad is racist and it bugs me to death. how can you judge someone just cus of there skin color?

raggedyanne · 10-28-2007, 10:55 PM

I would say she's racist. But like Lucretia said, there are generational influences going on here. My grandmother gets like that sometimes. I moved to a predominately white area of California and it bothers me when all my peers start commenting on some kids because of their race. After living in a big city it's hard for me to not get up and slap the kid who just called my lab partner a chink.

DarkGentleman · 10-29-2007, 12:17 AM

I dated an Asian woman back in 2001 for a few weeks, then for some reason her parents came up to us in a mall and told her that she wasn't allowed to date a white man. Right then and there, I ended it because I felt totally insulted. I can see where this is going, I believe some people are afraid of change when it come to race or cultures.

Valerius · 10-29-2007, 12:41 AM

She must've been Chinese, huh, DG? Them Chinese people only like marrying other Chinese people for some odd reason.

Underwater Ophelia · 10-29-2007, 03:49 PM

She's definitely racist, but that doesn't mean she can't change. Unfortunately, I don't think there's anything you can do to help her change, except maybe bring home friends of other races and tell her how great they do in school, how nice they are, etc.

Graveyard.Crow · 10-29-2007, 04:16 PM

Yes school. That's another thing. For some reason anyone that she doesn't like is some how failing in school, just because she decided so.

A lot of Russian people are kind of racist, and they talk to me about it openly because I'm Russian and they kind of expect me to agree.

"I hate Asian people, I didn't come to Asia, I came to Canada"

Me "Umm, great?"

spoon! · 10-29-2007, 04:34 PM

Maybe it's me, but I was eerily reminded earlier about the Russo-Japanese War.

http://www.russojapanesewar.com/intro.html

Not sure if it's even relevant in today's world but it kinda made me think a little bit.

DarkPrayer · 10-31-2007, 01:32 PM

Well, first of all that isn't racist. I don't like working with Asian people because they are so damn smart compared to me

but I am not racist. I'm pretty sure that your Mom isn't racist. or even if she is, I don't think it'll be serious.

Saddiction · 10-31-2007, 01:41 PM

What does being smart have to do with anything? Einstein wasn't Asian, so explain that one to me.

Saddiction · 10-31-2007, 01:46 PM

GC, your mom is racist regardless of generational influences. Plain and simple. My mom is the same way. Perhaps even worse. In fact, definately worse.

DarkPrayer, either you don't have a good understanding of racism, or you have wool pulled over your eyes.

DarkPrayer · 10-31-2007, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saddiction

What does being smart have to do with anything? Einstein wasn't Asian, so explain that one to me.

Oh, because Asian parents seem to put SO much pressure on their kids to get straight A's. When asian kids in my class get below an A (even if it's a B+ or a low A) they have panic attacks, burst into tears, and TOTALLY over react. I would kill just to have a B averadge! Just so no one will get angry, I do know that there are Asians that are not like this, and I have Asian friends. I know this is a sterotype, but at my school, it's stereotype central.

Underwater Ophelia · 11-01-2007, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

Oh, because Asian parents seem to put SO much pressure on their kids to get straight A's. When asian kids in my class get below an A (even if it's a B+ or a low A) they have panic attacks, burst into tears, and TOTALLY over react. I would kill just to have a B averadge! Just so no one will get angry, I do know that there are Asians that are not like this, and I have Asian friends. I know this is a sterotype, but at my school, it's stereotype central.

If you realize it's a stereotype, why would you continue talking about it like it's the truth?

And guess what, it's NOT overreacting. Maybe they know they could do better.
Example: I got an A on my psych test. I cried, because I still got questions wrong that I knew I should have known. I wasn't overreacting, I just know I do damn well in school, and my grade wasn't good enough.

And if you're so pissy that you don't get those grades...that's your fault, not theirs. It isn't their fault you can't get good grades. It's your fault.
Either study harder, or take easier classes. Don't take out your frustration on those who are doing well.

badteccy · 11-01-2007, 12:42 PM

Darkprayer...you are a moron. Grades are VERY important (I too think anything below at least a B+ is failing). Ophelia is def right, if YOU don't get those grades, don't be pissed because other people are excelling where you are not.