ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHH I'm not 16!!!!

BLEED REBELION!!! · 11-06-2007, 12:32 PM

So i've been looking for ways to deal with some issues I have and I decided I wanted to try therapy. So I found the only organization in my area that offers counciling for Family violence and Childhood sexual abuse etc. And then I call them up and all this shit and am all worried about what the therapist will think of me and. And geuss what I found out? That you have to be 16 or older to consent to therapy on "these sorts of issues". If you are under 18 you need parental consent. SO even though I found free therapy and am actually ready to try and deal with this shit I cant have it because Im too young.
This seems to be a recurring fucking nightmare in mylife. The younger you are the less rights you have, the less people will let you handle things yourself. I mean this is total bullshit! Why the fuck do I need parental consent? Its not like im getting an abortion or doing something life threatening.
My life is falling apart and I think its gonna get worse. So many areas of my life that I have tried to keep seperate are starting to be affected even more. My relationships with my friends my gf. My thoughts my actions everything.. I feel like everything is tainted, and I desperatly want to just fix myself and be done with it. So I can finnally just fucking LIVE! My friend told me therapy really helped her so I figured what the hell I should try it to. I was actually somewhat happy about it.
I need to do something somehow.... I dont want to live this way I dont want to think the way I am. The way i am now I will never get the things I want the most. I need to change or at least just talk to someone who will uunderstand this shit. I cant get parental consent because I'm not telling my mom and I guess I have to wait till june when i turn 16. Im just so tierd of waiting. Everything always has strings or limits nothing ever just happens the way its supposed to.
This feels like the end of the fucking world. I thought I was finnaly gonna get fixed like this was my miracle and I cant fucking have it....

I dont want to die really but I dont want to live "this". I just want all of this to stop. I wish I didnt have to deal with this its just not fair. I mean im fucking 15 and at the same time im not... Im like a stupid little kid that has no power and no one really listens and then im old as fucking dirt i just feel sooooooooo done... like this has been going on forever in a stupid fucking cycle i just want to give up already.

I feel like this is all my fault and I hate my body and my soul and I want to destroy them both and sometimes I do stuff that might actually lead to my death etc. And then another part of me doesnt think its my fault and Im just sooooo angry and I want to fuck with everyone else too, I want to die and take a few assholes with me..... either way I feel like Im already messed up and now im making it worse.
Now im blathering on and I wnat to kill my fucking computer.... Im always in these stupid ass states of mind, im A) angry. B) depressed.
c) apathetic. And I've only ever been so angry that I tried to kill myself once and that was just plane stupid cuz pills dont do it.... And now I just do stupid dangerous things cuz I dont want to kill myself but I dont want to live. So I just stand In a crosswalk to long or get into cars with drunk ppl. Cuz its like if im ment to die I will.....

And now i sound like such a elf pitying fucktard argggggggggghhh. Im so restless and I feel like im gonna do something stupid... I wanna run away to mexico ;lol.. but its soo stupid of me cuz I know my problems will just follow mw or at least thats what they say....

Why s it that Im always getting screwed just because Of my fucking age.... I mean my age doesnt really mean shit when it come to stuff like this.. People who are older or bigger or stronger always screw everyone else over

Bete Noire · 11-06-2007, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!

And now i sound like such a ELF PITYING FUCKTARD argggggggggghhh.

I do not believe I am in a very serious mood. Otherwise I would have picked up something more than this...

BLEED REBELION!!! · 11-06-2007, 01:11 PM

what are you talking about spelling errors???? I didnt really care and I still dont ...

kimaru · 11-06-2007, 03:12 PM

I know when you're 15, you are old enough to pay twice as much for the movies. Yet you're not old enough to make your own choices. You need your parents consent for everything.

Christina_Death1334 · 11-06-2007, 05:09 PM

I'm 16, and I started going to therapy May/April. I had to tell my school counselor to get her to tell my mother. (Mom wouldn't have believed me, so I used an adult that she would believe to get the point across.) Eventually my mother found a place that's free and I am now getting the help I need. I, too, am suicidal. (I say 'am' because the thought does still cross my mind.) If you ever want to talk it's christina_death1334 @ yahoo . com.

ForgetThisLostLenore · 11-07-2007, 04:39 PM

I hate being 15. It's like you're too old to be a child, and innocent. But you are also too young to do ANYTHING without parental consent. Thank God my mother agrees that I can get out of chemistry, because I wouldn't be able to do that without her approval. Though I guess if i told her that I believe the teacher is a pedophile...

It's seriously annoying though. You're basicly seen as a child by most, but have to be responsible for everything, even though it's probably something your parent had to consent to!

Stormtrooper of Death · 11-07-2007, 05:20 PM

Being under 18 is not cool. I'm 17 so I've reached the age of most things. But yuo still can't go the concert until your 18, it's a load of bollocks. The Misfits came to my town and I couldn't see them because I'm not 18. Damn it!!!!

spoon! · 11-07-2007, 06:50 PM

When I was going through some real shit back in school, I actually had a mentor with whom I would meet with every week for about five years. I trusted him with a lot of stuff I've never even told my family or friends.

The point is, I think any trusted adult can be a good therapist until you reach 16 and decide to seek professional counseling. Trust me, they will listen to you and will look past the whole age thing completely.

Bete Noire · 11-08-2007, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stormtrooper of Death

Being under 18 is not cool. I'm 17 so I've reached the age of most things. But yuo still can't go the concert until your 18, it's a load of bollocks. The Misfits came to my town and I couldn't see them because I'm not 18. Damn it!!!!

I'm 15 and I saw them in October:P

Valerius · 11-08-2007, 05:22 AM

What's wrong with being 16? I liked being 16. Except the part about not being allowed to drink alcohol legally.

DarkPrayer · 11-08-2007, 01:34 PM

What I think is annoying about age is how you can't watch horror movie sin theatre unless you are 18+. What if I am braver than any 18 year old and LOVE horror movies? Watching them on the big screen is so much cooler than a tv.

Cyntrox · 11-08-2007, 01:39 PM

I'm 16.

BLEED REBELION!!! · 11-08-2007, 05:49 PM

..aaaaaaarggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* SHOOTS SELF IN THE HEAD

killer_asian_Dax · 11-08-2007, 06:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLEED REBELION!!!

..aaaaaaarggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* SHOOTS SELF IN THE HEAD

Just go to your local bus station and strike up a conversation with the bag lady. You just may get some great advice. But either way, you'll feel worlds better just by having talked about it. And the best part is, it's free and you don't need parental consent. Often times the best therapy is venting to a complete stranger.

I felt that way when I was a kid too and I know it's frustrating. I coach high school kids and still see how frustrating it can be. You'll be fine. Just 3 more years til you're legal. You'll be ok.

But if you insist on shooting yourself in the head. Please try not to make a mess.

BLEED REBELION!!! · 11-08-2007, 06:13 PM

Thanks dax... : )

WOuld you happen to have a tarp I could have? I wouldnt wanna fuck up my moms carpet...lol.

Bag lady you say? Interesting Idea..

killer_asian_Dax · 11-08-2007, 06:23 PM

Sorry, my waste of life relatives took all my tarps so they could make hobo-shelters in my father's back yard behind the security wall.

Seriously though. Find your local bag lady and have a nice conversation with her. You'll eventually get your problems out and it's less dangerous than approaching a tweeked out hobo.

It worked for me when I was in high school and it's worked for those of my students who couldn't confide in me because even though I had no real affiliation with the school, I was still a "teacher" figure.

BLEED REBELION!!! · 11-08-2007, 06:26 PM

LOLz we dont have bag ladies.. we have crack heads...................

But I will talk to a non psycho sometime soon....I have someone in mind who I think would listen to me..

Its just such bullshit its therapy what the fuck is the big deal?

mindless1 · 11-09-2007, 01:20 PM

Try writing out your thoughts in poetry. Seriously. It works to get out all the frustration and people will love you for making a statement pretty and colorful. In the meantime, keep thinking "confident. I am confident" pretty soon all that angstyness will fade away. Being a "little girl" sucks.

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 11-09-2007, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by killer_asian_Dax

Just go to your local bus station and strike up a conversation with the bag lady.

I had a conversation with a baggish lady at the bus stop once. Funny co-incidence that her baby daughter's name was the same as mine... It was a good conversation... We ended up going through my sketchbook, with her telling me to do art for the rest of my life if I have a passion for it (which I do).

I've had a couple other good conversations with random people that I think most people wouldn't often talk to. Some of them may have been quite insane, but I find that means they're not people you've never met but feel like you've already talked to.

I'm rambling.

But anyway, talking to someone random is probably good and will likely help. I know I've always gone on my way feeling much better.

And on the poetry note, prose or art or music would probably work too. I guess it just depends on what you find most cathartic...