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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
12-19-2007, 04:46 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Spiderweb.
I doubt that "Spiderweb" will be the title of this forever, but it is for now.
Here it is:
Cruel man
You cruel fucking slippery man
How can you keep a smile on your face
When you've poured yourself onto
This platter before me
Looks more delicious than the
Too-sweet sugar I've been offered
You have no intention of letting me devour you
Not just yet
I can tell that
You want me salivating to the point
Of nearly choking on myself
I am going to catchyoubiteyouchewyou
Up
And redefine blood.
Don't be nervous-I still plan on licking
your wounds for you and purring
you back to calm contemplation.
I just want to see you sweat first.
-me.
I'm not really sure who or what it's about, I just vomited it up and like it a lot.
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12-19-2007, 05:40 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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The lust comes through all right, no doubt about it.
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12-19-2007, 06:32 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by HumanePain
The lust comes through all right, no doubt about it.
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Well, that's good. I think it was supposed to be lustful, I'm just not sure why.
I actually just had a tiger in mind when I wrote it.
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12-23-2007, 11:42 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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[sweats] That's hot.
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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12-23-2007, 03:18 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child
[sweats] That's hot.
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If you're being sincere, thank you very much.
If you're being sincere, and you don't mind telling me, what about it? I'm very into analyzing poetry, but few other people seem to enjoy it.
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12-23-2007, 08:00 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 639
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I enjoyed it quite a bit. I like the way the tempo of the poem increases until you reach the last line, which is kind of like the release of the poem. HumanePain, it is lustful indeed.
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12-26-2007, 10:44 PM
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#7
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
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I love where you choose to break up the lines within this piece...my poetry professor once said "Let a line be something worthy of being written upon a tombstone", and I think you fulfill this... And very nice imagery. I like this a lot.
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12-29-2007, 11:53 AM
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#8
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia
If you're being sincere, thank you very much.
If you're being sincere, and you don't mind telling me, what about it? I'm very into analyzing poetry, but few other people seem to enjoy it.
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It's hot because reading it is like being told off by a domme. Literary depictions of love which use sado-masochistic language appeal to me more than overtly erotic or pornographic stuff. I'm more cerebral than animal when it comes to sex.
Analyzing poetry......... that's hot too.  (Cerebral, remember.)
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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12-30-2007, 12:49 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you very much everyone!
And Apathy's, I'm the same way.
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01-09-2008, 07:01 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 4
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It's not typical you
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