Offensive jokes.

[AngelikDemonik]

What are your favorite offensive jokes?

My favorite:
(works best with a guy saying it, though):

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?








I don't cum on my pizza before I eat it.





Yeah, I'm hilarious, I know.

[Bella Sophia]

I'm sorry, I don't quite get it.

[AngelikDemonik]

Originally Posted by Bella Sophia

I'm sorry, I don't quite get it.

Eating babies with ejaculate. Not something one would do with pizza.... Yes/No?






I think it's funny. <3

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by AngelikDemonik

Eating babies with ejaculate. Not something one would do with pizza.... Yes/No?






I think it's funny. <3

I don't understand it. lol

[AngelikDemonik]

Originally Posted by Bella Sophia

I don't understand it. lol

It's okay =)

[MollyMac]

Thread grenade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HumanePain]

I am not Jewish, but have many Jewish friends and have worked for Jews, and love them all dearly, and they have told me some whoppers, so I will pass one along with their permission:

During a survey of business ethics, a man who owned a Dry Cleaning business was asked "How would business ethics apply to finding a $10 bill in a customer's coat?"

He thought for a minute and replied "Business ethics: should I tell my partner or not?"

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by AngelikDemonik

It's okay =)

lol, okie

Also, I don't understand HumanePain's joke either.
I feel dumb.... *cries*

[MollyMac]

It's because he left out a crucial bit of information....

[Zavulon]

what happens to Cubans who get flat tires?

they drown

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by MollyMac

It's because he left out a crucial bit of information....

Ah, ok then

[Godslayer Jillian]

I have one, but it's awful, I don't know if saying it. :P

[Bella Sophia]

Well, there was this fat black guy walking down the street when he saw a genie bottle. He rubbed it, and a genie granted him three wishes. He said, "I wish I was white, skinny, and surrounded by p*ssy."

..... so the genie turned him into a tampon. ^_^

[MollyMac]

Say it, Jillian!! Say it! This is as close to peer pressure as you are gonna get!!!!!

[HumanePain]

HAHAH!!!! That was FUNNY!!!

OK, another one:

A lot of people think I have something against Puerto Ricans. I don't, I love Puerto Rico, I visit Puerto Rico once a year...to visit my hubcaps.

[Tha Duckman]

I **** newborns.

































Get it !?!?!?

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by HumanePain

HAHAH!!!! That was FUNNY!!!

OK, another one:

A lot of people think I have something against Puerto Ricans. I don't, I love Puerto Rico, I visit Puerto Rico once a year...to visit my hubcaps.

omg that's so wrong! lol

[Bella Sophia]

Ok, I beat the shit out of my friend for telling me this one:

Why do black people only want to have nightmares?

Because the last one that had a dream got shot

[HumanePain]

You gotta say one too Molly!!! Come on, I KNOW you know a million of them! Say one about Mexicans, PLEEEEEASE???
(chihuahua puppy dog eyes)

[MollyMac]

Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What’s in the bags?"

"Senior, It’s only sand." replies Jose.

"Sand??? Well, we’ll just see about that - get off the bike!"

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.

Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose’s shoulders, and he is let across the border.

Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?"

"Sand," says Jose.

A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.

For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn’t show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you’re smuggling something. For a year it’s driven me crazy. It’s all I can think about... I can’t get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I’m beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"

Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..."

[Tha Duckman]

Look at what I just won.

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by MollyMac

Jose arrives at the Mexican border on his bike with 2 huge bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks: "What’s in the bags?"

"Senior, It’s only sand." replies Jose.

"Sand??? Well, we’ll just see about that - get off the bike!"

The guard takes the bags, rips them open, empties them out and finds nothing in them...except sand. Detaining Jose overnight, the sand is analysed, but only to discover it is in fact simply sand.

Jose is released, the sand is put into new bags and placed on Jose’s shoulders, and he is let across the border.

Next day, same thing happens. The guard asks: "What you got there?"

"Sand," says Jose.

A thorough examination of the bags again shows there to be nothing but sand, and subsequently Jose is allowed to ride across the border.

For a whole year this continues until one day Jose doesn’t show up, and the guard discovers him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Bud," says the guard, "I know you’re smuggling something. For a year it’s driven me crazy. It’s all I can think about... I can’t get sleep, the kids are getting neglected...heck, even the dog senses I’m beginning to lose it! Between you and me, just what are you smuggling?"

Jose sips his beer, smiles and replies: "Bicycles..."

Ha! lol!!!

[Zavulon]

What do you get when you cross a Pollock and a Puerto Rican?

A kid who spray paints his name on chain link fences.

[Bella Sophia]

Originally Posted by Zavulon

What do you get when you cross a Pollock and a Puerto Rican?

A kid who spray paints his name on chain link fences.

I really don't understand your jokes..

[MollyMac]

How do you start a Mexican parade?


You roll a penny down a hill.