The guessing game

[unedifying]

They're also my imaginary friends! =D (For a while I joked with a friend of mine that I had an imaginary penguin friend named Walter. He always wears a burgandy and crimson striped tie, except on those few occasions he wears another patterned bowtie. In fact, I keep him around in my mind, because he's cute.)


You wake up one morning to discover yourself surrounded by my invisible friends. WTF?

[Godslayer Jillian]

You became a schizophrenic that night.

You are walking down the street, dinking your tea, when a salamander jumps to your face and commands you to never eat in Wendy's ever again. What lead up to these events?

[unedifying]

I had just escaped from the Psych Ward, (damn schizophrenia!), and ate twenty dollars worth of Wendy's. Walter had turned into a salamander during the escape, and was yelling at me never to eat it again; good point, because I was quite ill afterwards. (Bloated, yuck!)


You're at a concert and, suddenly, a hand puppet pops up beside you and starts break dancing. But there's no arm attatched; who is this puppet?

[HumanePain]

Chester! (from Sifl and Ollie).

And damn, I was going to answer the previous one with "so you ate the salamander"!

You wake up at 4 AM and notice that blood is dripping from your eyes because...

[BlackButterfly]

You forgot to remove your spiked false eyelashes before passing out in a drunken stupor (MAN, that was a great party!) Unfortunately, you're having a little trouble focusing now, and it ain't the hangover, bub...

You are typing a response on a message board, and suddenly you hear from the far corner of the room a faint voice calling your name... but you are the only one home at the moment. You walk over to that corner and find...

[Immortal_Death]

find a tape player that your brother left to scare you. You turned it off and walked back to your computer. Then you hear that voice again. You followed the sound from the hallway and noticed a creepy, eerie ghosty girl figure passing through your parent's room to your brother's oom. You are suddenly freaked out, you gently stepped into you brother's room and suddenly, the door behind closed. The room became darker and you see alot of midnight black hair coming out of the closet, tv, computer, bed, etc. You can't see your shadow and saw two white hands grabbing your foot from the floor and pulled you down. You fell like your were falling from a cliff, you felt numb and helpless. Then your heart stopped and you're suddenly dead.

The woman came out of the shower with her towel on. She opened the closet to look for her outfit to her prom. But she screamed and .........

[She_Is_My_Sin]

Realised the shoes didn't match her dress. What an nightmare.


Yesterday a vending machine ate up the last of your money. You walk past it again today & you hear it speaking. It's taunting you. But why is it even speaking?

[Godslayer Jillian]

Monty Python finally got revenge from that weird french guard and stuffed him into the vending machine.

Your mother IS indeed a hamster and your father DOES smell of elderberries. Who/what is their common ancestor?

[honeythorn]

Henry the eighth.

You walk into your kitchen to discover that miniature penises ( peni??) have sprouted like some sort of demonic fungus all over your fridge. Not only that, they are also a one time all singing all dancing barbershop group, who decide upon seeing your horror stricken face to........

[She_Is_My_Sin]

Eat that damn expensive cheese you've been saving for when the pope decides to visit your house. The tarts.

You go round your friend's house. After you knock on the door, Elvis answers. Not come overweight look alike. The real thing. How come? & where's your friend for that matter?

[Godslayer Jillian]

Everyone knows Elvis didn't die. He was just hiding in your friends basement. And right now, as you're talking to Elvis, your friend is unfreezing Walt Disney from his cooler.

A dog in a banana suit is singing "It's peanut butter jelly time!"
Why?

[She_Is_My_Sin]

Well it's actually a giant banana that ate the dog. The dog just ripped through it slightly. Also the banana has human characteristics, making it able to sing.

I think it was a scientific experiment.


Your phone rings. You answer it. A mysterious voice tells you to meet them at a location. You go because you're curious. As you're waiting you see someone in a hooded jacket. They approach you. As they take the hood off you gasp in horror! Standing in front of you is....

[knightmare]

It's Scooby Doo looking forward to his lunchbreak. Since he is no longer a celebrity, he has to sell drugs in an elaborate costume to feed his now obese friend Shaggy

Why did the fat man jump off the bridge with the Grim Reaper?

[She_Is_My_Sin]

He was dying so the Grim Reaper was obviously there. Though he jumped off because he was given a 'magic bean' by a strange traveller & was told that with all the powers of the magical bean he could do whatever he wanted.

The fat guy wanted to fly.

You wake up one morning & suddenly everything's gone back to 1996.

What's that all about?

[knightmare]

You tried to give Captain Kirk of Star Trek a wedgie while he was tinkling with the space warp mechanism of the Enterprise. You breached the space-time continuum in the opposite direction and passed out.

You wake up one morning and you see a smiling clown, the Pope, and Michael Jackson in your room

[She_Is_My_Sin]

They all wanted a bit of that cheese you were saving for when they visited. Well with the exception of Michael Jackson & the clown. They'll just have to make to with the everyday cheese.


You disover that your sofa is actually alive & has been the reason so many of your pets have gone missing.

[cradle]

Its the twilight zone version of Joe Dirt...

[knightmare]

Since you have been cheating on Beauty with the Beast's cousin, the pissed french candlestick is planning to lead a revolution of furniture against you. Somehow your pets overheard the plan and tried to warn you, but the sofa ate them.

There is a huge mob of morbidly obese people with picket signs at your front lawn throwing live chickens at your house. What did you do?

[Dark_love_2008]

I laugh at them because I was the single reason that McDonalds has shut down all over the world and now every fast food chain is doing the same.

Your boss is yelling at the top of your coworkers tring to get someone to confess a huge crime. you are slumped back in your chair because you:

[Catch]

. . . are hiding the stab wound and claw marks that her husband gave you, after getting too friendly in the copy room.

Naked musicians are running down the street:

[Godslayer Jillian]

In protest of the synthetic "feelings" music has had since the decline of improvised jazz.

There's a Got Milk post-it in you bathroom mirror. Why?

[Alaizabel Cray]

Because the milk man is a serial killer. He leaves the post-it thingy as some sort of calling card, a twisted sort of joke seeing as he drowns people in bathtubs full of milk. (Lame, I know.)

Evil French penguins want to kill the human race. Why?

[Dark_love_2008]

The French Penguins were forced to live at the North Pole much in the same way Indians were forced to live on the rez's

Your car is now totalled, why?

[honeythorn]

Because manic depressive 3 legged alsatians cut the brake cables last night and shoved a potato up the exhaust pipe.

There is a small herd of llamas in your hallway, all wearing african style wooden masks and singing " God save the queen " in the style of Laibach. You grab the nearest .......

[Dizzy1313]

... scepter, then start marching around, banging the llamas on the head and singing "I'm the queen. I'm the queen." Then you saddle one of them up, and ride off into the sunset, humming "Life is Life" in the style of Opus.

You are walking along a dirt path in a northern forest. It is damp, foggy and cold. Suddenly you walk into a wall of...