Virgin

[Godslayer Jillian]

Not too shabby. I can email you my life in a nutshell if you email me.

[An Eccentric Cellist]

Lovely. Let me switch computers. Talk to you soon.

[erotomaniac87]

Oh, come on, it's perfectly fine to be a virgin. Being one or not doesn't make you much or less of a man. Cheer up, bro'.

[nordic_ice]

Twizted Whispers,
Virginity is a priceless treasure that you can't have back once you loose it. Sex is over advertised. It is fantastic with the right person, but can be destructive with wrong. I say it's all about trust and respect, so don't stare yourself blind at the sex part. I'm determined you one day will fall in love with a person you trust and respect and then you might feel it's time to give your treasure to who ever that is. ‘Til then - Be proud.

Hugs.

[X-Rose-Of-Your-Promise-X]

Er, I don't know if i should be saying this but I will anyway. I lost my virginity when I was 12...I know it seems a bit young, it was with someone I really did love, still do but unfortunately she's moved over 300 miles from me, we stayed together for maybe 4-5 months but in the last week we've sort of broken up so im a bit depressed really. I don't regret it, because I was with someone I love...I know 12 seems a bit young for somebody to be able to be in love but I've been through quite alot for my age and I seem to understand the world a bit better than most people my age, we both told our parents and stuff so yeah...virginity is a precious thing, your friends obviously aren't very good friends if they are making fun of you, wait till the time is right and ignore these people is all I can say...g'luck.

[käthryn]

Twizted:

To give you objective input to your situation... teenagers tease other teenagers when they feel insecure about themselves. They actually feel inadequate because they feel "different" and they seek to get you on the same level in order to make themselves feel okay about their own decisions.

They aren't trying to help YOU, they are trying to bring peace in their own selves by saddling you with the same bag of hammers they carry around. The easiest way to feel better about yourself and resolve your own insecurities is to make others as much like yourself as possible.

So, if I gave up my virginity at 15 or 16, I might feel a little remorse about it now, so my plan will be to act cool and like I am happy about it and egg my friends into messing up too so I am not such a bad person anymore. Then I can tell myself "everybody does it" and that makes it okay.

This doesn't mean your friends are bad people or even mean people. They won't even consicously recognize their own underlying motivation. But you can take the high road on this issue, or any other future issue where they give you crap to try to get you to mirror their actions.

You can do some research on this behavior in the bookstore or online to better understand the real psychology and sociology behind peer pressure, and it will help you have confidence to make whatever decision you think is right for you while still having understanding for your friends' personal insecurities.

A side note... isn't it interesting that in high school we pick on the kids who are virgins and in return the usual retort is calling the non-virgin a "slut" or equivalent. What if we had just approached the oh-so-cool non-virgin-teasers with empathy for their deep regret, which they masked by attacking others who had not made similar bad decisions?

[Electrolyte]

Meh, I used to get teased all the time at secondary school that I was a virgin. I still am, and I'm 18. My mates at college usually tease the others if they're still a virgin, but they don't tease me (since I'm homosexual so it's harder to get a boy friend).

To be honest, I don't give a damn if I'm a virgin. When I get a boy friend, I want to hold onto him - I'm not bothered about sex at all.

[Cadaveria Fan]

Im not a virgin but I can tell you sex is overrated, after it happens you'll say to yourself "Thats what Ive been wanting? That was stupid". It doesn't change the way you feel at all (well it didn't to me anyway)

[Pseudomorrow]

It's odd, yet strangly comforting knowing that so many are around my age.

I honestly didn't know what to expect.

But, I digress.

I almost feel like I should've been the one to start this thread. I too am a 17 year old virgin who gets picked on by my friends for it. There's only one person out of my whole "crew" who hasn't lost their virginity.

But hey, I don't think just because your friends make fun of you, that you should go running off getting new ones. Friends are supposed to make fun of you. As long as they balance out the insults with some good friendly etiquette every once in a while, you shouldn't be in too much trouble.

I myself have come ever so close to loosing my virginity once.

The only thing that stopped us was bad timing. (It was my girlfriend's curfew)

To which, that relationship was in turn, pathetic.

This girl had had quite a bit of boyfriends and sexed up every single one of them. Now, I am not a pig. I tend to try and be the nice guy actually. But, I had known this girl for a while and was geniuinely starting to care for her.

After about a week of officially going out after having been friends for a few months, she realised it was too hard to try and have sex with me and got her cravings elsewhere (some 23 year old off of myspace whom she had kept secret from me)

So that relationship LITERALLY ended with

an "I love you"

with her replying "I love Adam" (the 23 year old)

And then I figured out that my emotions would've been dramatically pummeled into the ground until they were just mush.

This was only my second girlfriend and I was greatful that my first was the type of girl you dream about.

And my second was the type of girl you never want to meet if you have a week heart.

Both ends of the spectrum.
The first ripped my heart out, and the second would've if I hadn't been so numb already.

As of right now, it's been a long while since I've even kissed a girl. And I stay inside 95% of the time. So who knows.

I'm most likely going to be 20 something before I loose it and that doesn't bother me one bit.

Shouldn't bother you either.

To make a long story short...Snoop Dogg's my uncle.

[Pseudomorrow]

Damnit. "losing" "weak" please disregard any typos.

This is what I get for using quick reply.

[jack69]

i agree losing your virginity should be lost to sum one you trley care about im still a virgin i a m prowd of it

[DarkHeartedDemoness]

Psuedomorrow, I was older than you when I lost my virginity, and I'm glad I waited for the right guy in the right situation. It was... well, the moment was magical, even if the sex was a little awkward.

I'm not sure why our culture puts such emphasis on losing one's virginity. I think it probably has to do with our culture's push for us to grow up so fast. By that, of course, I don't mean in that our 5 year olds are working at the factory. I mean naivety is frowned upon. Innocence is considered a weakness. I remember how completely stupid I felt, at age 11, for not knowing what "jizz" was. Why the fuck should an 11 year old girl know what jizz is? I knew what sperm was, from science books I'd read, but I wasn't familiar with the slang terms and for that I was laughed at. The push to lose your virginity before you're 16 is, I think, related to that.

It's strange, isn't it? Our parents are doing everything they can to give us a real childhood. That's fashionable right now, so I'm making a generalization. They don't make their kids work until they're 18, they buy them things, they "go easy" on them, in a way their parents never did. With this parental push towards having a childhood, is our generation's hatred of naivety just another rebellion? If so, it's a pretty fucking lame one.

*edit* I pretty much typed as I thought, so I apologize if it rambles on.

[Linen]

Of course it's not bad. You should only have sex when YOU are ready, not when your friends or someone you're dating pressure you to do so. I was a virgin until I was 21, though I had dated, kissed, and fooled around with several guys. I was far too paranoid about getting pregnant, and I wanted my first time to feel "right" like it was my choice and I was "ready".

So that's what I did. I'm married now, and I have only had sex with two guys - my ex bf, and then my husband. I feel good about that and I don't regret not having sex earlier. There are plenty of sensual and romantic things you can do without risking pregnancy, STDs, or *too much* heartbreak.

[Goth_Bitch727]

i think being a virgin is still a good thing and ur friends must be really stupid if they are going to laugh about it

[insertwittyname]

Gah, I feel your pressure to have it, though with the lack of the friends nagging you. First BF was the epitome of an ass. -.- He did everything but force for it. I never gave my virginity to him but he got something out of me at least... Sometimes what hurts more than the nagging is when the emotional "you hate me" and "I want to die because I can't have this", phrased more towards your sympathy of course; comes out and the refusal to see your side. I was stupid, unable to see that he was using me and blah. This BF I'm hoping will actually wait to do anything until I'm out of high school. *HINT* I will keep my virginity until I have that ring on my finger and out of school, even if I have to scream and bite things off.

[black_squirrel]

Whenever you're ready. If you feel ready at 15, go for it. If you want to wait til you're 20-odd, then that's fine too. If you can resist the peer-pressure, then the battle is half won.

[Broken_Pixy]

Originally Posted by Twizted Whispers

I have a question is being a virgin such a bad thing? because im 17 and im a virgin wich ALL of my friends are making fun of me and it really hurts

nope... I just turned 18 and I'm a virgin... and I'm not one bit regretted I still haven't shagged the 1st guy that appeared in front of me
we'll know when the time is right