Celebrate Uncle Smoov’s 100th Post Day With Your Host, Uncle Smoov!

[Stuporman]

Welcome! In honor of this, Uncle Smoov’s 100th birthpost, and my suddenly being Goth as Fuck (or, more accurately ‘Gother as Fuck’), I’ve prepared a little speech. I wish all of you a good afternoon. Yes, even you.
Here with me is my drear wife, Aunt Ruff. As they say, opposites attract!!! And there is no better example of this fact than the frighteningly intense passion that my wife and I share.
To initiate the ceremony, I’d like to clue you in on a little something about which your behavior reveals that you know nothing. It’s an observable fact of life that if a malevolent sucker took up perhaps one retarded minute acting nice, it might unite nations, cause love, even stomp mush out of violence. I hope this little fact is a lesson to those of you who have, over the weeks, done nothing but torment my countless faithful servants and me with your poorly spelled and poorly executed attacks on my character.
To those worthy enough still to be reading – those of you who will absorb, or if you’re not tardy, have absorbed my lesson – I commend you on your labors to win my praises, but you’re nowhere near the best disciples I’ve had in my years in teaching. In fact, your mawkish, calculating attempts to gain my favor lead me and my puke-packed gut to believe that your loyalty is not genuine. To dispel my suspicious nausea, arm yourselves and return to me with the title of King of Rotten.com, a prize well worth the risk of your lives.
At this time I will be taking questions.

[Renatus]

Uncle Smoov, was the fact that you put this post on your now very apparent alt account intentional, or did you accidentaly post it using this account of yours?

[bulletsinmyhead]

Originally Posted by Renatus

Uncle Smoov, was the fact that you put this post on your now very apparent alt account intentional, or did you accidentaly post it using this account of yours?

yeah, I wondered about that too

[delicti]

Perhaps he doesn't want to disrupt the whole 100-ness of the day?

[bulletsinmyhead]

Originally Posted by delicti

Perhaps he doesn't want to disrupt the whole 100-ness of the day?

very true...I see your point

[Necropolis]

Uncle Smoov, I wish you'd join my other forum.

[Stuporman]

Originally Posted by Renatus

Uncle Smoov, was the fact that you put this post on your now very apparent alt account intentional, or did you accidentaly post it using this account of yours?

Yeah, I fucked up. Imagine my horror when I realized that I couldn't delete threads.

[delicti]

Originally Posted by Stuporman

Yeah, I fucked up. Imagine my horror when I realized that I couldn't delete threads.

It's all good. I enjoy both incarnations.

[Stuporman]

Originally Posted by Necropolis

Uncle Smoov, I wish you'd join my other forum.

He might join it if you don't spill the beans that a human based in reality is actually directing what he says.

[Uncle Smoov]

These are all utter lies, my simple students. Surely you wouldn't be so easily tricked by somebody calling himself Uncle Smoov who is clearly named "Stuporman?" But perhaps I overestimated your intellectual capabilities once again. The saddest part of this whole mess is that it was the dawn of my 100th birthpost, and the insidious Stuporman stole my speech - and by extension, my thunder - to lure you into his clutches with my own honeyed words. For this outrageous act of impersonation, I call upon the permanent exile of the wretched crumb known to us all by the vile name Stuporman.

[Underwater Ophelia]

This is great.

[Corpsey]

This dude is like Spright and Duckie's offspring. Duckman vanished and I don't think it he was the fatherly type, so he must've done a runner, abandoning poor Smoov on our doorstep.

But really, this is some funny shit.

[badteccy]

Thread of the century.

[Beneath the Shadows]

Sock puppets. Gotta love them. Especially when they blab the wrong thing.

[Wormboy]

Am I the only one who doesn't find this funny at all?

[Stuporman]

Hey Smoovie, how's this tickle ya?

Originally Posted by Stuporman

It’s an observable fact of life that if a malevolent sucker took up perhaps one retarded minute acting nice, it might unite nations, cause love, even stomp mush out of violence.

[Uncle Smoov]

Your feeble magic tricks don't tickle me in the least bit. I'll have you know, indeed, that I am not ticklish. Wormboy was correct, for a change, in his worthy observation that your sickening misuse of my Name calls not the least bit for laughter. I find it indescribable that my students, in whom I was just beginning to see a glimmer of hope, are swayed so easily as to believe that you could hold even a match, let alone a candle, to my perfection in the use of the English language. Oh, and since my prescience is obviously unknown to the likes of you, I noticed your little word shuffle the first time I read what I only theoretically call your 'post'.

[biohazard]

Smoov, do you happen to know the person who wrote this thread?

[Cyntrox]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Am I the only one who doesn't find this funny at all?

Nope. I don't either.

[Haunted House]

http://uncle.smoov.justgotowned.com/

Uncle Smoov = obvious rip-off of Your Weird Uncle.

[Uncle Smoov]

Originally Posted by biohazard

Smoov, do you happen to know the person who wrote this thread?

I know that he's a conniving brigand whose heinous sense of humor exceeds naught but the most primitive archaeon. This is a compliment by all accounts, Stupidman.
To comment on Haunted House's own weapon against my character, you'll be interested to know not only that those depicted are not Uncle Smoov, despite the arrows suggesting otherwise, but that Uncle Smoov was the puppet master behind each unfortunate event. Does this not prove my power to you? Explain in 3-5 sentences.

[Stuporman]

Put yourself under the influence of a chill pill, man. Despite what you appear to believe, no one here's stupid enough really to think we're the same homie. Aren't you a little too delusional to have a counterpart here on earth, anyway?

[NachtSorcier]

Originally Posted by Wormboy

Am I the only one who doesn't find this funny at all?

I third that.

[Uncle Smoov]

It is a proud day for you, Knocked Saucier. For the first time in your life, you have uttered something that can be considered correct. This is a serious issue that those whom I previously considered your intellectual equals find childishly hilarious, while they cannot see the taint of Stuporman surrounding their souls like the descent of befouling smog upon a utopian village. Heed our words, those weaklings among you who are so hypnotized by this fresh devil, conversion away from Uncle Smoov is the least funny thing there can be.

[Beneath the Shadows]

Has anyone ever told you that you're boring? If not, allow me to be the first...

You're boring.