Ugh. Schoolyard "relationships".

JCC · 01-30-2008, 12:43 PM

It seems to be a Western-wide epidemic. Children professing their undying love for their 'gf' or 'bf', and then breaking up with them so that they can move on to the next idiot who falls to the system, and then they break up, and continue the cycle.

Why? I'm in a minority of people who don't want a girlfriend and despise the tradition. I wouldn't mind, if these people actually cared for each other. I know a guy who's kept a relationship going from the age of 12, and it's still going now when he's 18. That guy is smart, he knows how to keep his relationship together and the way that they do it is that they CARE.

This fad of children deciding that they're mildly attracted to each other so they should co-join for a few weeks and then find another brain to sap infuriates me. I know people who tell me of when they had "girlfriends" at eight years old. EIGHT FUCKING YEARS OLD. I then ask them, "Well, what was the point? You obviously didn't want to spend your life with them, or want to spend even a long time with them, so what was the point of wasting that time?". Their reaction is either silence, changing the subject or something like "other people do it" or whatever. It's ridiculous.

They say that you should ask out the girl that you like, well, in my case that's bullshit, because the girl that I like still believes in this stupid trend. I like her more than anyone on the planet, enjoy her company more than anyone else's, care about her on the same level as I care about myself and often think of spending my life with her, but I wouldn't ask her out until she grows the fuck up and realises that this is ridiculous, because when someone has GENUINE feelings for someone they're just setting themselves up to be hurt due to the pure immaturity of everyone my age that I've ever met. EVER. My best friends, the people I loathe and the people that I'm apathetic about are all the same purveyors of the fad. It's infuriating.

People downplay the importance of relationships and throw away their youth at the same damn time. These people say that they're loyal to their boyfriend and girlfriend, they wouldn't cheat on their boyfriend or girlfriend, and it raises the question of 'Why?'

Why do you feel the need to chain yourself to another human being in the time of your life that is meant to be about discovery, carelessness, a general disdain for things that are mundane and dull as you explore different ways of life. There's none of that any more, people are too busy trying to pretend to be adults by getting into a "relationship" and it's pathetic. It's really pathetic and sad, and I pity the people who participate.

The only reason for spending your childhood with someone else is if you actually feel a connection, a bond, something that links the two of you together to the point where you can't imagine living without them, and nobody that I know has ever experienced it, fortunately. That feeling is a curse because it uses up what time you have, exactly the same as when you use up the time that you have PRETENDING to feel those feelings. It is utterly and completely ridiculous, and even the smartest people that I know have participated in it or still actively do.

It's close to sickening for me to watch that people degrade human emotion to being a crux for becoming popular or accepted into a particular motion or zeitgeist. Utterly and completely revolting.

Noumi · 01-30-2008, 12:52 PM

They just do it cuz they're not mature enaugh to think those things you're saying... that's obvious...

Underwater Ophelia · 01-30-2008, 12:56 PM

Dude, chill. It's called "puppy love" and it's a natural part of growing up.

Duane · 01-30-2008, 12:57 PM

I stay away from relationships, they're not worth it. What's the point? Unless you actually care for the person ,and they care for you, and you feel happy togethor, stay away. Me, personally, I've only had a crush on most girls here mostly, nothing more, so I never saw a point in starting a relationship with a girl. Not that I'd have a chance, anyways, I'm not excactly the best looking guy around, so yeah.

JCC · 01-30-2008, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

Dude, chill. It's called "puppy love" and it's a natural part of growing up.

But that's just the thing, is it? Has it always been a natural part of growing up and will continue to be so regardless of any changes in society or is this something reflected in our culture that children, eight year old children feel the need to emulate a relationship when they can't even fathom what something as complex as that is? Maybe it is human nature. But then again, maybe it isn't.

Tha Duckman · 01-30-2008, 01:47 PM

Is someone jealous-wealous 'cuz they didn't get any lovey-wuvvy when they were little-wittle?

JCC · 01-30-2008, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

Is someone jealous-wealous 'cuz they didn't get any lovey-wuvvy when they were little-wittle?

No, I've played out the scene of getting a girlfriend, it was boring and insipid and I'd much rather just be sexually adventurous, thank you very much.

Tha Duckman · 01-30-2008, 02:03 PM

So, due to your lack of school yard experience, you are left cold and dead inside, capable of only having meaningless relationships with members of both sexes and various species?

Mir · 01-30-2008, 02:12 PM

Various species eh? Mmm.. *eyes up Duckie and gets ready to pounce*

ApothoKeri · 01-30-2008, 02:14 PM

Well, by all means don't be involved in it if you don't want to but I don't see any problem in infatuation and wanting to have fun with it. JMO but just because something may not alter your entire life, mean anything spectacular or last forever, does not mean that it is worthless or not worth exploring if it seems the thing to do at the time. If all else fails, it may just be fun.

Tha Duckman · 01-30-2008, 02:14 PM

I can't blame you. I have to walk everywhere with blinders on, just in case I catch a glimpse of my own reflection.

JCC · 01-30-2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

So, due to your lack of school yard experience, you are left cold and dead inside, capable of only having meaningless relationships with members of both sexes and various species?

Precisely.

Tha Duckman · 01-30-2008, 02:29 PM

So, back to my last post, you didn't get any lovin' in the school yard. Thusly, you grew up to be, well, YOU, which ain't much, let's be honest. SO, if you HAD got some lovin', you wouldn't need to lash out at little children because they're getting what you never had.

JCC · 01-30-2008, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tha Duckman

So, back to my last post, you didn't get any lovin' in the school yard. Thusly, you grew up to be, well, YOU, which ain't much, let's be honest. SO, if you HAD got some lovin', you wouldn't need to lash out at little children because they're getting what you never had.

Well, no, it didn't happen in the yard. It happened elsewhere.

DepthsofSpace · 01-30-2008, 03:31 PM

*slow clap for JCC*

No need to say anymore, you well summed up what I have been saying for the last few years.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 01-30-2008, 08:07 PM

The media has romanticised romance

nothing you can do

Tha Duckman · 01-30-2008, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DepthsofSpace

*slow clap for JCC*

No need to say anymore, you well summed up what I have been saying for the last few years.

You no get any lovin' when you were little either

?

killer_asian_Dax · 01-30-2008, 09:47 PM

I'll be the first to admit all I got was hate hate hate as a kid, but all that time alone gave me the glorious opportunity to see what tools they are. While I'm damned glad my childhood is over, I also consider my childhood to be a godsend, being able to spend the most precious years of my life, learning, growing and exploring. Something most everyone has forgotten how to do now a days.

Being a female, I am slightly more prone than guys to have such feelings that may tempt me to fall into the blind and bleeting fold, but it's my superior logic and reasoning that keeps me from such a near fatal mistake. It feels good to be cared about, but that's what family and friends are for. No need to go throwing your life away through a series of half-hearted, no-brained "relationships."

I once worked with a girl who had dated a guy since she was about 8. The went on to marry the guy, her obviously now-husband, but now she just keeps asking herself "what am I gonna do with him?" She feels frustrated and trapped. And she's well pissed away the most important years of her life.

Why are people so eager to fall into such a dolldrum?

Underwater Ophelia · 01-31-2008, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

But that's just the thing, is it? Has it always been a natural part of growing up and will continue to be so regardless of any changes in society or is this something reflected in our culture that children, eight year old children feel the need to emulate a relationship when they can't even fathom what something as complex as that is? Maybe it is human nature. But then again, maybe it isn't.

Children almost always emulate adults. It is normal. What's more, it is normal for humans to pair off, even at a young age.

gothicusmaximus · 01-31-2008, 03:03 AM

Dude, aren't you thirteen? No offense, but:

Quote:

I'd much rather just be sexually adventurous, thank you very much.

Skeeved me out a little bit, because I'm wondering if you even have hair on your wang yet.

Furthermore, I think you're glorifying 'mature' relationships a little bit. Adults fall 'madly in love' just to get sick of each other within a ridiculously short period all the time, it's not as though once you grow hair on your wang you suddenly become boundlessly wise in the affairs of love- Brad and Jen to Bill and Hilary, the evidence is all around you.
As for the superiority of sexual freedom to a relationship, the fact is that a society in which the institution of monogamy was dissolved entirely and sex was completely divorced from emotional attachment might be ideal, but such a world could never exist as it would require that everyone behave in a way utterly contrary to human nature. We want to own shit, we hate sharing, and the fonder we are of the thing in question, the more unwilling we are to let anyone have it. This is the rationale which precipitates monogamy. For example, you mentioned that you like a girl- now, I may be wrong, but I have a feeling that if she started fucking some other guy (unlikely because she's probably thirteen too and doesn't have hair on her snatch), you wouldn't be happy for her, but rather sort of pissed that you're not the one she's fucking.
Ophie's essentially on target in regard to the issue of 8 year olds "dating". Kids will be kids, it's no more 'sickening' than playing house.

HumanePain · 01-31-2008, 03:08 AM

I understand what you are saying JCC, but for some reason your logic strikes me as similar to saying "why do 3 year olds talk to each other, they can't have intelligent conversations, and don't have jobs so don't have anything important to say".

Exploring relationships at a young age is not meant to find someone to bind with permanently, it is practice and learning, so that when they are mature someday, they can deal with the complexity and invest in a long term relationship with success. Learning to walk, that's all. Sure, it causes pain to the other person, and yes, it seems shallow to collect lovers as if they were collecting butterflies, but each relationship provides valuable experience.

Ophelia is right, I am just going into more detail as to why she is right.

stompyhank · 01-31-2008, 04:58 AM

I did the schoolyard "dating" thing when I was younger. I don't regret it. I think it really is a part of human nature. Just like when animals in the wild play and wrestle with their siblings to practice hunting later on, human children play at "dating" as practice for later on, like HumanePain said.

JCC · 01-31-2008, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

because I'm wondering if you even have hair on your wang yet.

Not ON it, and I should hope that you don't have a furry shaft too.

Also, it's not the subject itself of humans being attracted to one another that sickens me. It's the waste of life. The adventurous years down the drain.

And to be honest, I think it all links back to misogny. Misogny so subtle that even the females purvey it, but misogny all the same. A lot of the time, a girl will save herself sexually for a boy that she's going out with. And that's fine. Each to their own, different ways of life.

But the growing usage of terms like 'slag' and 'slut' is the modern paraphrase of "You are a woman, you should be owned sexually and in other capacities."

Do you think that if women were liberated on the subject of sexuality that children would still "go out" with each other? Fuck no. They'd cut out the soppy teenage bullshit (which are all lies) and get to the core of what they're asking for. If a guy wants to fuck a girl, and said girl wants to fuck guy, should they have to be going out? No. Childhood is adventure. Sexuality is a part of that and I feel that people are constricted by this glorification of love that's made it little more than a word. Cut out the "I love you" shit, no you don't. When you say "4eva", you mean a couple of weeks. Cut to the chase, if you're attracted to each other, go for it. People shouldn't have to use relationships as a justification of sex and/or activities concerning it. They should be justified by default.

Tam Li Hua · 01-31-2008, 08:42 AM

Wow..

Well, from someone who was painfully shy as a teenager, I'd have to say that I regret not going through that phase as a teen; I think it is an essential part of learning how to handle romantic relationships.

The reason folks change the subject is probably due to your hostile tone; no one likes feeling like they are about to be attacked, ya know?

I'd hate to think what would happen to you if a girl casually asked you out. x_x;; The way dating is here in the States, sometimes someone will date two, three people at a time casually until they find the person they want to be with for the rest of your lives. Asking for such a serious commitment right off...and from teenagers and children, nonetheless...is a bit unreasonable, imho.

Just relax, and have fun getting to know people. And also remember that going out for coffee with the girl you are interested in is NOT the same as a marriage proposal.

JCC · 01-31-2008, 08:59 AM

See, that's the thing. Why would you need, of all things, TRAINING, for falling in love?

This fad is fairly new. Publicly announcing your love for someone that you barely even care about, it's fairly new. Falling in love has been going a little while longer. Nobody needs practice. When you fall in love, you'll know.

Therefore, how on earth can pretending to love someone be practice?

Also, if a girl casually asked me out I'd just turn her down nicely.