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| Literature Please come visit. People get upset, write poetry about it, and post it here. Sometimes we also talk about books. |
01-18-2008, 06:31 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Melt.
I will love you languid
When you're tired
Stay in your white nest
All day if you like
I'll stare at you while you stare at your eyelids
I'll move over you like a sentient glacier
Or if you like
We'll make lavalamp love
I'll flow through you slow
Heat you from the inside
With the look in my eyes
I will love you languid
I'm made of syrup and warm wax
I'll melt myself over your skin
Delicately coating you in sugar
And heat
Yay, poem.
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01-18-2008, 08:01 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the concrete and steel beehive of Southern California
Posts: 7,449
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I LOVE the symbolism!
"Sentient glacier"...awesome!
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01-18-2008, 08:45 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you! I wasn't too sure about the glacier bit when I first wrote it, but the more I read it, the more I like it.
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01-19-2008, 06:08 AM
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#4
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 2,721
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Hey, I wanna make lavalamp love!
__________________
All pleasure is relief from tension. - William S. Burroughs
Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak.
Hula, hula, said the witches. - Norman Mailer
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01-19-2008, 12:12 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Ooooh yeah.
That's my favorite part.
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01-22-2008, 12:36 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 237
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This is really good! I love it!!!!!!
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02-03-2008, 10:54 AM
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#7
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: A whales Virgina
Posts: 787
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Lava Lamp love, Sounds sexy, its good
__________________
Must have been a dream from a thousand years ago...swear I didnt meant it....swear it wasnt meant to be.
Aim: K143rsjrp
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Duane
Oh shit!!!*tries to run away, but trips, he breaks his neck on a stool*No I know how Hilary Swank feels like.
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02-03-2008, 02:12 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you very much.
Was there anything you weren't crazy about?
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02-03-2008, 02:46 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: A whales Virgina
Posts: 787
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you use the word love alot.... In other languages like greek and arabic love is described in hundreds of differant ways... We have other words too that could construct a more intimate feel to go along with the sexy lava exchange :~)
But I like it of course :~)
__________________
Must have been a dream from a thousand years ago...swear I didnt meant it....swear it wasnt meant to be.
Aim: K143rsjrp
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Duane
Oh shit!!!*tries to run away, but trips, he breaks his neck on a stool*No I know how Hilary Swank feels like.
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02-03-2008, 02:47 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 74
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i liked your poem very much. though it being as short as it is, it left me craving for more...
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02-03-2008, 03:13 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Earth.
Posts: 8,001
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Thank you.
My poetry is usually very short, I like it better that way.
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02-04-2008, 11:53 AM
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#12
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Bard College
Posts: 256
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I almost want to see the reprise of "I will love you languid" be the beginning of a new stanza, but aside from that, this is perfect.
Very original and beautiful.
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