Seniors.

Duane · 03-24-2009, 02:26 PM

"Has the jury come to a decision?" Asked the judged, while
he fidgeted with his gavel. A tall scrawny man stood up, and
cleared his throat. "Yes, your honor, on charges of first degree
****, we find the defendant not guilty." The judge eyed the
defendant briefly, then turned his attention to the "Plaintiff",
and sighed. "Very well, then. Court dismissed." With a heavy
pound with his gavel on the sound block, he stood up, and went
off to his chamber.

Thomas Benson chuckled to himself, a got up on his feet. "Well,
Emily as much as I'd love to go to prison for a crime I didn't commit,
I'll have to pass. Well... hey, don't feel bad, maybe next time you can
get me for assault." He waved at her mockingly and left the court room, followed by a big guy in ripped jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt.

"You know, you could have gotten life imprisonment for that?!"
Exclaimed my friend in the AC/DC shirt, his name is Zane. It was
thanks to him that I'm not in the locker, he had left his tape recorder
in my car when me and Emily were having sex. Luckily, the batteries
had enough juice to record the whole thing, from the first kiss to me
dropping her off at the Judges' house. "Dude, I thought he was going
to be a complete asshole and dismiss the tape as bullshit. I guess he's
too cool to do something like that."

He rubbed his little cross between his thumb and index finger on the
right hand. "It was by His will that you are free." I chuckled to myself,
and turned on the radio, Highway to Hell was playing. "I guess I should
show him gratitude by not saying god damn so much, huh?" Zane shook
his head."Wait... he says... to show him gratitude, you must treat his peer
to a Big Mac. You do this, and you'll make the good lord very happy."

Tam Li Hua · 03-24-2009, 02:31 PM

Sounds like a good start to a -very- interesting story.

HumanePain · 03-24-2009, 06:33 PM

Law, Love and Lies...what's not to like? Post more dude, keep it going, keep on keepin' on!

Mr E Nigma · 03-24-2009, 07:38 PM

haha, Thomas Benson reminds me of Hot Shots! XD

The story is quite interesting as well, my only issue is that, at least the way I read it, you switch from 1st person to 3rd person. As in, you switch who the narrators voice is, and it sort of makes it a little confusing. I might have that wrong though. But yeah, that's the only critique I've got. Apart from typos.

Duane · 03-25-2009, 12:32 AM

Ah, I see it... yes. I'll try and do better next time.

Duane · 03-25-2009, 11:42 AM

"Before I treat His peer to a Big Mac, I have a question."
Zane cocked his head, and grinned. "What is it, my child?"
I laughed."Is masturbation a sin?" Zane shook his head.
"Nah, we are only human, just don't bate in any of his homes."
I looked out the window, like always there was Rocky Balboa.
I turned to face Zane "Hey, it's Rocky, the dude is persistent."

Rocky Balboa Jr., like his idol is a boxer, a South Paw to be exact.
In the 70's his father, a boxer as well, was a fighter in the Heavy-
weight division, 5 fights away from a shot at the title. Unfortunately
he was in an accident, not one of those special ones someone set up,
a genuine car accident. he survived but his the bones in his left arm
were broken very badly, looked like he would never box again. Then,
one night he went to see a movie, guess which one. Instead of quitting,
The Steel Colt took a vacation, a long one. There will be more on this
later.

Zane shrugged his shoulders and turned up the radio. "Hey, sing along!
I was cryin' just to get you! Now I'm Dyin' to cause I let you! Do what
you do down on me!!" I love Steven Tyler's voice, it's incredible the way
he screams, now that's skill. After a few minutes of driving, The Demon
of Screamin' gave way to Mick Jagger and co. a little bit of paint it Black
one of my favorite songs. Zane nudged me with an elbow, and grinned.
"Lisa Samson looked relieved when she heard that you were found innocent.
Believe me, did a little dance... her tits did a bigger dance if you know..."
I looked at him, and sighed."Are you ever going to stop thinking with your
sacreds?" Zane grinned and sang "Zane to the Duane thinks the way he wants,
he's not asking you to join, just wanting you not to be annoyed."

Duane · 03-26-2009, 03:39 PM

I was annoyed with him, but he's my best friend so I never
so I do my best to tell him this in the nicest possible way.
"Hey, Zane to the Duane, hush or the peer of god gets booted
out of the car." He fell silent, and threw me a mock sad face.
"Oh please please please! I was just kidding man, don't be so
mean." He laughed, and tussled my hair with his left hand.
"The Zane thinks you need to see Dr. Boom at the Thunder
Mountain clinic, come on I wanna make up for being a Zane.

I could be on a prison transport right this very second,
fortunately I'm not. I could tell that Zane wanted to treat
me to the sweetest coasters in the county not only to make
up for his idiocy, but to help take my mind off the trial. I'd tell
him how much it meant to me, but he knows, best part is he
doesn't expect anything in return. Ten minutes later, at the
very front of the greatest amusement park in the county, all
of those splendid roller coasters, and the glorious Mega Splash.
All the feelings I felt 10 minutes ago vanished, and were replaced
by childlike giddiness. "Coasters! Coasters! Look at those coasters!!"
I jumped up and down, and shouted coasters until I saw the sign.

Closed! CLOSED!!! This is one of the worst buzz kills I've ever
experienced, reminds me of that one movie with the kid who
wanted that one rifle. That's how I read the sign "You'll puke
your lungs out!"

Smells Like A Foot · 03-26-2009, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duane

"is masturbation a sin?" zane shook his head.
"nah, we are only human, just don't bate in any of his homes."

bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Duane · 03-26-2009, 06:06 PM

I knew you'd have a good laugh at that, heh.

Duane · 03-27-2009, 12:49 PM

"Of all the days they're closed, it had to be today..." Zane dismissed
this with a wave of his hand, and led me back to the car. "You got
your health, and that cunt bubble isn't going to be on your case any
time soon." Cunt Bubble seemed to be his favorite term to use when
talking about girls like Emily, it not funny but it always seems to get
a chuckle out of me "I prefer to call her a cunt ridden pile of bitch, but
to each his own. "Cunt ridden pile of bitch? Hey, you can't use that...
that's the one I coined that when Ms. Bitch of the West kept being a...
well, bitch!"

Ms. Keene was the Science teacher over at Middle Sex High, she had
a way with words when it came to Zane. He was her favorite student
and she loved to give him special attention. You'll read more about her
later, until then time to hit the pool!

Today was the last day of summer, last day this pool would be open,
there were 4 other pools in the city, but this one was the best of all.
"Hey, my my my, if it isn't Lisa Samson on the lifeguard tower! Oiling
herself... just like out of the Sandlot, except this lifeguard has the biggest
tits!" Lisa started developing her breasts in 4th grade, by 6th she was
not that I stared at them, they were pretty nice, and she had the body
to go with it. She was oiling... oiling... oiling... waving... at ME! This is
almost as bad as the first 3rd encounter of the Tit kind, I'll tell you about
that later. Oh, the embarrassment, Zane had left me standing there looking
like a jackass, Hee fucking Haw. Then I saw her smile, one of those that
lights a dark room, something cliche' like that, though it describes it best

Duane · 03-28-2009, 09:30 PM

I'd be lying if I said I didn't find her smile enchantingly beautiful,
or that I don't "bate" to a picture of her every night... boy that
sounds sad. Zane says "Just ask her out, before she realizes that
smart ass comments are all you're good for.. oh shit Rachael fap
fap!". Before I continue, don't feel bad when people tell you bating
is bad, after all it's not a crime and is a natural part of a man's life.

By the time I snapped to, I go into a little trance whenever I see
Lisa, the lifeguards began rotation... Oh shit! Little Tommy is trying
to say hello, and I'd hate to see the look on her face when she saw
my boner. So I did the only thing I could think to do, dive into the
pool what a big mistake too be 2 seconds later THWAK!!! I didn't
plan it, in fact it was quite the opposite, who plans on dealing their
head a good smash just to get some tongue action from the babe
lifeguard? Oh, but by this time none of that occurred to me, not
even the thought that propelled my to take the dive in the first
place. I don't know how long I was out, but when I came to, I saw
2 emerald eyes staring, the nearby kids were laughing and pointing
at my crotch, oh fuck Schlongton cums alive.

I'm just glad Lisa spared me the jokes, and returned to her position
on the tower. If I had known that she was smiling to herself, I
would've rolled back into the pool in embarrassment. Fortunately,
I remained ignorant, and that was good.

Opteron_Man · 03-29-2009, 03:18 PM

This looks like an interesting read, I hope you keep on writing it.

KuroOokami · 03-29-2009, 05:21 PM

I really really like it!! Keep posting, okay? I'm waiting on the edge of my seat for more.

Duane · 03-30-2009, 12:26 PM

That night, at home, my father sat down with me and apologized.
A week ago, when the police came into our house to arrest me,
well he a no good piece of shit, and I deserved to spend the rest
of my life in prison. He slapped me a good one across the face, and
although I've forgiven him, he kept talking about how he was a terrible
father. Despite being quite intelligent, well no I'm just a smart ass, I
didn't know what to say, but eventually after maybe the 10th time
of forgiving him, he left the room after squeezing my shoulder.

Usually I dream of playing at Hyde Park, playing in front of thousands
of fans, beach balls being passed up and down all around, but my dreams
were of Lisa. Her giant behemoth tits pressed hard against my chest,
fuckers had teeth I swear, but thankfully they're not her finest features
those would be her eyes. Those dazzling emeralds, cliche but this is my
dream so ha, the way she was looking down with genuine concern. All
lifeguards share this trait, but her look was especially real, if it wasn't
for the water you might have thought she was crying. I never would
have guessed why.

6 years ago, we were at a party, we had a chaperone Lisa's older brother.
Not much of a chaperone, letting us do whatever while he was off making
a beer run, while he was gone Emily suggested a game of 7 minutes in
heaven. Yes, that fucking cunt rag who almost ruined my life, such a
sweet little girl... well no, she was always a bitch, she and a couple of
sweet little girls made me eat mud once, yeah Girls are just precious
angels. Well anyways, the first names to come out of the hat were
yours truly, and Lisa Samson and her B cups, this was a moment that
would decide whether I was cool, or a complete pussy, don't you just
love elementary school?

For the first 5 minutes, we just talked because although she looked like
she was all primed and ready for the hot beef injection, she was as
nervous as I was. I don't remember entirely what was said, but it was
something to do about Kurt Cobaine, the King of the Grunge Scene.
I thought he was okay, but the grunge was boring, I knew it was going
to die, why? Fads don't last anymore than a few years until they become
a joke, and that's what I felt after a while, grunge was cool but it didn't
have the staying power that Rock or Metal had. Then suddenly she kissed
me, why ruin such nice diolauge with sex? It's not like this was point of this
stupid game, but it was and I was the only one who didn't know it.

Duane · 04-02-2009, 01:23 PM

I didn't know it then, but I wanted to lose my virginity to
Lisa. Because then it would've been to someone I actually
loved, however I lost it to Queen Bitch. Sex was the only
thing she was good for, other than that she was just one
of those people you wanted nothing to do with. Since her
parents had so much influence, some of her "friends" thought
it best not to get on her bad side. I did, and look what almost
happened to me, did she care that my aunt was in the hospital?
No, she would rather I take her to go see Titanic, and as much
as I'd like to see Leo go down, I wanted to be there for my aunt
a hell of a lot more.

My aunt's fine now, not that her royal majesty gave a fuck. I
think she was even hoping she would die, how one dies of a
broken leg I have no clue, unless the shattered pieces of the
bone traveled up to her heart and did some major damage. Just
like Eddie Kaspbraks' mother was worrying about when Henry
Bowers broke his arm in IT. I personally didn't believe it could
happen, good thing I thought right, in a week she was out of
the hospital. The Sargent wouldn't let her out of his sight for
the next couple of weeks, though. "It's Lieutenant, not Sargent
got it smart ass?" was his usual response, he was always cool
about it though, my uncle. In fact, he was cool about everything.

First day of school, last day of high school, my first class is with
Ms. Cunt. Her real name is Ms Bundt, but we call her Ms. Cunt,
man she is such a pile of cunt. I sighed as I walked into her class,
for some reason I knew what she was going to say."Why, if it isn't
Mr. Rapist, take a seat, on the corner of the room, don't want you
to go berserk on any one of these innocent women." I turned around
and smiled. "Innocent? Ha ha ha, they haven't been innocent since
6th grade." He turned again, and sat in his assigned seat. The cunt
smiled and turned her attention to the door, as Zane came duck
walking in while humming the guitar solo to "You shook me all night
long." by AC/DC. She cocked an eye brow, and smiled wider. "I see
you haven't lost a single pound over the summer, Shamu." He smiled
and laughed."You haven't gotten any younger over the summer, my
god, is that a zit?" He grinned and ducked walked to my table, and
sat beside me.

Duane · 04-05-2009, 12:10 AM

"That was stupid... You haven't gotten any younger over the summer?"
To be fair he was dropped on his head as a kid, so I try not to be too
hard on the guy. Still, some of the shit he comes up with is just lame.
For instance he came up with this one idea for a novel, about a Psychic
who is on the run from these aliens who disguise themselves as "low men
in yellow coats.", this psychic hides in the world of 1960 Connecticut.
Then this one about four guys who go hunting in the woods of Maine,
and encounter aliens. "Hey, I have another idea for a novel, I think you'll
love it!" He grinned." Four kids go on a little quest to find the body of a kid
that was struck by a train, and it's like a coming of age type thing."
Stephen King already wrote this story, it's called "The Body", and I'll bet
10 dollars that the King is already working on those novels. "Those have
to be the worst ideas you've ever had... what's next? A novel about
a magic prisoner on death row in a prison during the great depression?
Well... that would make a great novel just needs the right touch... what?"
I looked up and saw mini bitch.

Rachael Jameson isn't as bad as Queen Bitch Emily Strong, she's actually
pretty nice, she's just a bit bad tempered at times. She wasn't looking in
our direction, but she has got to have the nicest ass in school... and that's
enough recognize her. She turned around and handed us a little slips of
paper for the start of the year pep rally, when Zane shot up from his chair
and screamed. "I wanna stick my penis in your vag-IIINA! Make you scream
Ai POPPY! Oh yeah... yeah..." by this time people were hooting and laughing.
Chanting "Zaney Duaney Zaney Duaney!!!". Why not, schools already a
circus.

Duane · 05-04-2009, 12:48 PM

Rachael stared at him for a very awkward 30 seconds, before exhaling sharply."You're an incorrigible, idiotic loser. You should really seek help,
before you end up in jail for sexual harassment." With her back stiff,
Rachael exited the classroom. Duane rubbed his gut, and sat down. I
sighed "You could always pray to God to have her want to be your girl."
Duane waved the notion away with hand. "Dude, a good Christian should
only pray for something if they desperately need it. The guy who lives in
a nice home in suburbia doesn't need the promotion, Nemo Soledad just
needs to stop being an asshole, so on so forth. Sure, it'd be nice to have
loads of friends, cash... but, God is busy helping those little sick kids in St. Judes,feeding those hungry kids in africa, I should pray for something I could
get without praying, I just need to change things up... be nicer, and I guess
I could always learn to respect their space."

Gym class was much better, hell, it's always better. I'm not saying this
because my uncle is the instructer, but because... it's fun to lift weights.
Weight lifting to some people is just that, but there's more to it. There are
rules that you have to abide by, right ways to do things and wrong. You
also learn trust, though I wouldn't trust half the guys who signed up for
weights outside of the W. Room, also it's insane watching my uncle out lift
people 50 years younger than him.

DropDeadMag · 05-04-2009, 01:17 PM

well cya! *makes left turn*

Duane · 05-14-2009, 01:56 PM

It's a bit mind numbing, oh look the girls are playing volleyball. What
a great sight, bouncing tits, I can hardly restrain myself. However,
it's best not to stare for too long, or else Queen Bitch might try to get
my suspended for sexual harassment. She'd have better luck with this,
as her mother is the Vice Principal, worst part is if she goes missing, I'm
the main suspect. Why? Because she nearly fucked my life over, and as
much as I'd love to just take a 20 pound dumb bell to her head, I won't.
Have you ever had your shorts pulled down in gym? If you did, you'll know
how I feel like right now, especially if you were a bit 'happy'

bleh...

Duane · 05-31-2009, 10:30 PM

"LOOK OUT LADIES!!! HE'S PICKING OUT A TARGET!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
YES!!! I will **** you... and you... especially you! Oh, yes!!!! You know how
men in general won't harm a woman, and verbally/physically attack you if you
do? I believe they're just afraid of what the millions of other men would do to
them, if they harmed a woman themselves. Like them, I also won't harm a woman for the same reason, I'm as pathetic as those other losers.

After an awkward silence, I pulled my shorts back on, and entered the weight room. There was a gaggle around the bench press station, and there as always is Roger. Have you seen the movie Blind Fury? Imagine that, but without the awesome sword skills and instead of being blind... well, he's mentally handicapped. Despite a couple of habits he has, he's a really nice guy, friendly with a lot of the 'Nam vets and their kids.