dating a "Non-goth"? - Page 10

Solumina · 02-28-2011, 02:31 PM

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

MissCheyenne · 02-28-2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

Truth. Every relationship is about compromise. Without it, you are doomed from the start. There HAS to be some give and take otherwise you have nothing to work with.

6SixSick · 02-28-2011, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

C'est vrai! When I'm asked what I look for in a woman the commitment to personal growth is the top of my list. Someone's who's committed to improving their character (not just their body or wealth) is someone who is more likely to see the bigger picture and be willing to talk things through; they see disagreements as opportunites for you both to grow, not as a setback in the relationship.

Cat Stark · 02-28-2011, 03:04 PM

All of those things are important to hold a relationship together, but I have never seen it implemented in real life.
At the beginning, I can see it being possible. I have never seen it last to the long term. Something usually pitches it one way or the other. After people get married and have to live around that person for years most of those important things go away. It becomes superficial. I have never seen some one "grow" from a fight.

6SixSick · 02-28-2011, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

All of those things are important to hold a relationship together, but I have never seen it implemented in real life.
At the beginning, I can see it being possible. I have never seen it last to the long term. Something usually pitches it one way or the other. After people get married and have to live around that person for years most of those important things go away. It becomes superficial. I have never seen some one "grow" from a fight.

Maybe you're hanging out round the wrong people. Go out with Solumina and her buddies lol

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 02-28-2011, 03:33 PM

Apathy has this way of drawing out love and hate from me. I'd date him!

I'd also date Kontan 'cause like... it's Kontan...

AND VERSUS! FIGHT SEX OH YES YES YES.

I'm obviously only interested in deep, and meaningful relationships...

Saya · 03-01-2011, 01:02 AM

See? Fine taste.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-01-2011, 01:04 AM

Fine like yo-

I suddenly feel like a womanizer. For shame. :[

Apathy's_Child · 03-01-2011, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey

Apathy has this way of drawing out love and hate from me.

Misdiagnosis of Apathy-hate is sadly rife in the current pseudomedical climate. However, in most cases, the hatred is in fact an illusory side-effect brought on by the love.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-01-2011, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Misdiagnosis of Apathy-hate is sadly rife in the current pseudomedical climate. However, in most cases, the hatred is in fact an illusory side-effect brought on by the love.

Like the grumpiness generated when you're not able to walk after a big dick has pounded your ass.

Catch · 03-01-2011, 02:24 PM

I'm a sensitive person looking for More! All a person has to do is telepathetically understand the passcode and post it in real life. After passcode is accepted, proving they can read my mind, I don't care if they are Goth, Punk or whatever; however, they do have to be human.

Tenebris_In_Lux · 03-01-2011, 03:55 PM

I'm a Goth female dating my first love, and as you might have guessed, he isn't a Goth. The place I live in straddles between "large town" and "small city" so .. there are not too many "alternative" persons where I live.

A lot of my peers love to dream about the perfect boy, what he should look like, what he should do in the case of a romantic bedroom situation, etc. Me? I'm dating a guy who classifies himself as a Geek .. and things have gone along quite well! He confesses that he still loves Pokemon, and I confess that I'm still infatuated with The Shockrocker With No Eyebrows *cough* Marilyn Manson *cough*

Do people tease me about it? Sure. Many people expect my sweetheart to be this ultra-Gothy dude.
I must giggle when the question "Do you want him to be Goth?" pops up. Because frankly, dressing him up would be a lot of fun -- and I have brought him to my workplace (college radio DJ!). But I love him the way he is.

I hope I didn't go overboard on that :P
And yea .. you can laugh about the MM thing >_>

Cat Stark · 03-02-2011, 02:23 PM

One all of you are crazy, just thought I would put that out there in case no one knew. Sorry if I ruined something for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6SixSick

Maybe you're hanging out round the wrong people. Go out with Solumina and her buddies lol

Everyone I have ever known is like that. There is not a lot of love in my family. What I have posted so far is coming from what I grow up around and what I have experienced myself. To me, that is just the way it is. There is not a loop hole. I have never seen anything like has been posted here as what makes a relationship last. Never.
I mean my parents were dared to get married; my mother divorced my father because he was not making enough money for her, now she is with a scum bag she lets freeload off her(the irony is not lost on me). One of my brothers got married because his now wife threatened to leave him for her ex; she cheated on him and he stayed with her because he knows if he leaves her she will get the kids. Another threatened to get a divorce if his second wife did not get pregnant.
Now you know where my ideas of relationships come from. If any of that sounds like people that love each other, I would like to know.
I do not know what love looks like. If I am really honest with myself I do not know what it feels like.
I have excepted that "Haply Ever After" in stories are just that, in stories. I am not okay with the idea of being alone the rest of my life, but I do not want to be with someone I do not love. Which I may never find.

Solumina · 03-02-2011, 04:37 PM

Just because it is all that you have ever known doesn't mean that it is all that you will ever know. Part of the problem is that a lot of people don't think that they are worth anything so they let others treat them like crap because they don't think they deserve any better. The truth is that not being in a relationship is a lot better than being in a really shitty relationship, not to mention the fact that you need to love yourself before you can really love anyone else and it doesn't sound as though you even like yourself much at all.

Saya · 03-02-2011, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

One all of you are crazy, just thought I would put that out there in case no one knew. Sorry if I ruined something for you.

Everyone I have ever known is like that. There is not a lot of love in my family. What I have posted so far is coming from what I grow up around and what I have experienced myself. To me, that is just the way it is. There is not a loop hole. I have never seen anything like has been posted here as what makes a relationship last. Never.
I mean my parents were dared to get married; my mother divorced my father because he was not making enough money for her, now she is with a scum bag she lets freeload off her(the irony is not lost on me). One of my brothers got married because his now wife threatened to leave him for her ex; she cheated on him and he stayed with her because he knows if he leaves her she will get the kids. Another threatened to get a divorce if his second wife did not get pregnant.
Now you know where my ideas of relationships come from. If any of that sounds like people that love each other, I would like to know.
I do not know what love looks like. If I am really honest with myself I do not know what it feels like.
I have excepted that "Haply Ever After" in stories are just that, in stories. I am not okay with the idea of being alone the rest of my life, but I do not want to be with someone I do not love. Which I may never find.

JJ_Spade · 03-02-2011, 10:01 PM

Stark Don't Bother Trying To Talk Heart To Heart On Here, Most Of Them Don't Care. I On The Other Hand Do. Believe Me When I Say I Feel The Same Way. I Won't Marry Anyone That I Won't Be Happy With.

Solumina · 03-02-2011, 10:41 PM

There is nothing wrong with putting your heart and soul into your posts on here, I've found it to be rather helpful and frequently cathartic. It is a little harder when just about everyone hates you but just ignore the people that you know have a problem with you.

Murder.Of.Crows · 03-02-2011, 11:13 PM

No, I think I get the same feelings as you Cat. I have never been in a relationship that didn't turn into us merely existing in the same presence. It always goes well for the first few months, then i find out, she is married or already in a relationship.... wait...(just made a sudden realization)... why am i always the other guy?.. Well now i lost track of what i was going to say... Fuck it! Im going to go watch zombie action now.

Catch · 03-02-2011, 11:54 PM

I've dated Goths. I've dated non-Goths. It is all the same; however, sometimes dating a non-Goth is tricky because they want to treat people differently, you know, like how they think a Goth is.

JJ_Spade · 03-03-2011, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Murder.Of.Crows

No, I think I get the same feelings as you Cat. I have never been in a relationship that didn't turn into us merely existing in the same presence. It always goes well for the first few months, then i find out, she is married or already in a relationship.... wait...(just made a sudden realization)... why am i always the other guy?.. Well now i lost track of what i was going to say... Fuck it! Im going to go watch zombie action now.

Think Of It As A Good Thing...Your "The Other Guy" Because The Girl Was Unhappy With Who She Was Married To Or Dating, And That She Wanted You Over Them.

6SixSick · 03-03-2011, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

Just because it is all that you have ever known doesn't mean that it is all that you will ever know. Part of the problem is that a lot of people don't think that they are worth anything so they let others treat them like crap because they don't think they deserve any better. The truth is that not being in a relationship is a lot better than being in a really shitty relationship, not to mention the fact that you need to love yourself before you can really love anyone else and it doesn't sound as though you even like yourself much at all.

That is very true. I find it quite easy to get dates, but my problem is boredom. I'm probably gonna sound a bit of a bastard here, but I have a problem sticking with relationships. Either that or I get bored with being single then get into a relationship lying to myself that she's the one then having to break hearts when it suddenly smacks home that she isn't.
Well to be fair to myself that has been my pattern; i'm trying something new now.

I'm being more honest with myself and the girls I'm dating about how I feel and asking them if they want to be friends instead, as the girls I date are pretty extraordinary.
I'm still getting tears sometimes, but it's easier at the start than at the end of a realtionship they thought was going well.

Cat Stark · 03-03-2011, 12:43 PM

By posting all that I was not asking for anyone to feel sorry for me, I just wanted to point out that what I was saying was not just things I pulled out of my ass.
I like who I am fine, I just do not like other people.
I know that it might not be all I ever know, but it is all I have ever known.
I do not really care if no one cares about what I put. I do not really care what most people say about me anyway. It is their problum they do not care, or do not like me, not mine.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-03-2011, 02:12 PM

At this point I'll settle for anything as long as it's male, and the relationship is built on mutuality, equality and naturally an affection of sorts. I don't think I'd really enjoy a relationship with a 'goth' (by any degree or understanding of the word) though.

Catch · 03-03-2011, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey

At this point I'll settle for anything as long as it's male, and the relationship is built on mutuality, equality and naturally an affection of sorts. I don't think I'd really enjoy a relationship with a 'goth' (by any degree or understanding of the word) though.

What no mind reading or minimum dick length!? Well, I that's okay for you.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-03-2011, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catch

What no mind reading or minimum dick length!? Well, I that's okay for you.

Well okay... nothing smaller than a weight watcher's cream filled chocolate eclair I suppose.