Sexuality - Page 53

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Oh, and julia ... I'm tempted to ask how big (pardon the pun) the sample group was, but I think I'll leave that one alone. I'm assuming that you're had enough experience to bear out that hypothesis, at least in your own judgement. In my case, I can tell you that my fingers do not exactly reflect my proportions, but as you say, there are exceptions.

Oh, yeah good point. I guess I should clarify that my experiences include 11 guys. So I guess there is a lot of room for error since I haven't seen a hundred of them...

I also include as a part of "my experiences" chats with girlfriends and such.

And Ben, I would hope a girl wouldn't not go out with a guy because he has smallish hands. I've never done that and don't plan on it. It's just that once I am with them, I happen to take note of the size of the hands vs the size of the penis. I actually once dated a guy who was 4 to 5 inches when fully erect. If I would've paid attention to his hands I might have predicted this. But if I had and then, based on that, not dated him, I would've missed out on some truly magical and special moments I shared with him. He was one of my more beautiful relationships and I treasure every moment I spent with him. He was very good in bed as well. He was a great kisser, he knew how to touch and please a woman and he always made sure I was satisfied, which is more than I can say for some guys who had a bigger penis and never took care of me.

As far as me and my girlfriends go, we don't look at hands before we decide whether or not to date a guy, it's more of an afterthought.

Ben Lahnger · 03-01-2006, 01:30 PM

Julia, thank you. Nice answer.

Once upon a time I was a man obsessed with his own size. Then I read a lot of literature and online postings from women, and learned that performance and kissing and touching were important. Now I am a man obsessed with his own size and performance and kissing and touching! Ha ha ha!

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Now I am a man obsessed with his own size and performance and kissing and touching! Ha ha ha!

I am jealous of the woman that is lucky to end up by your side...

...and, TStone, thank you so much for the laugh... my sides hurt!

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 01:47 PM

Hehehe, I don't know. Naughty Ben, do I mean women?

Ben Lahnger · 03-01-2006, 01:56 PM

Ummm ... well, I can say that experience is definitely the best teacher when it comes to sex. A few years ago I got back together with an old girlfriend, and she commented that I had learned a lot, and she was pleased. Which was cool, but it made me wonder how much she didn't tell me at the previous time. So I have learned that if I hadn't been able to spend time being intimate with more than a couple of women, it would have been very difficult to know what I know now.

And Xng is correct ... that would be women!

Halleluja, amen and pass the butter! :-)

Disfunction · 03-01-2006, 01:57 PM

I believe it would be called a triad...

Ben Lahnger · 03-01-2006, 02:07 PM

We just call it an understanding. A triad would be appropriate, except that we are never going to have a threesome together. The two ladies have no interest in being with each other. The way things stand now, I spend most of my time with one of them, but from time to time I go over to the other ones house to spend some "recreational time."

I was up front about what I wanted before I got into the relationships, and these two very lovely ladies are cool with the arrangement as long as I continue to be honest.

Tall One In Black · 03-01-2006, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

Oh, and the conversation about whether size matters was interesting. I have a question about that. Ladies, when a guy brags about his size, do you automatically assume he is lying?

I automatically assume he's an arrogant jerk and immediately stop listening to him. :P

Personally, I don't subscribe to the "bigger is better" theory, at least for myself. I've had two boyfriends who were too big. Even in the tamest positions, I had to be ultra-careful to keep from getting hurt. And I don't mean a bit of soreness, I mean it hurt*. Certain positions weren't even an option.

It was a little like playing goalie for NHL with no pads or helmet - you can't enjoy the game because you're afraid that at any minute, you're probably going to get hurt.

When I discovered that my subsequent boyfriend was quite normally normal, I was relieved.

*And I'm not a wimp. Multiple doctors and nurses have told me that I have a high tolerance for pain - including the surgeon who sawed my breastbone in half and the oral surgeon who yanked my wisdom teeth while I was awake.

.

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 02:30 PM

I'm the same way Tall One, I don't like big at all, the most I can do is Medium-Big.

I was also relieved to find that my current boyfriend was of a healthy, normal size. Actually, he's the perfect size for me... that's why I'm marrying him.

Disfunction · 03-01-2006, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben Lahnger

We just call it an understanding. A triad would be appropriate, except that we are never going to have a threesome together. The two ladies have no interest in being with each other. The way things stand now, I spend most of my time with one of them, but from time to time I go over to the other ones house to spend some "recreational time."

I was up front about what I wanted before I got into the relationships, and these two very lovely ladies are cool with the arrangement as long as I continue to be honest.

Aha... I've heard of similar set ups.

Ben Lahnger · 03-01-2006, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tall One In Black

I automatically assume he's an arrogant jerk and immediately stop listening to him. :P

Ah, yeah, I understand that completely. That is a pretty normal reaction. Actually, I thought I was asking a slightly different question, but in hindsight and with the help of your answer, it would all have to be bragging, so your reaction is dead-on.

And yes, I've heard that about a guy being too big for some women before as well. Thank goodness we all come in such wonderfully diverse bodies.

And thank goodness for BOOBIES!

Manimal · 03-01-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaGaltic

I'm the same way Tall One, I don't like big at all, the most I can do is Medium-Big.

I was also relieved to find that my current boyfriend was of a healthy, normal size. Actually, he's the perfect size for me... that's why I'm marrying him.

That's how I feel I am... medium-big - although I hate classifying because it seems so crass. Man that must sound odd coming from me of all people.

I used to obssess over my size. I always thought I was pretty small. Then I got over it and just had fun. Recently I read the penis size debate website - a good and funny read - compared my own size to their chart of "idealness", smiled, and pretty much left it at that. I'm pretty confident with myself and my ability to make a woman sexually fulfilled. As far as penis size I realize there are some guys bigger than me and some smaller than me and I'm just happy that I have one and it works well. There are those times where I think "Man imagine what I could do to her if I was just a bit bigger" but then I make her cry and I don't worry about it so much. So really it's not that my dingy is so great so much as she is so compatible with me

If there's any "size" that I still worry about it's my body size. I'm a shorter guy, smaller hands, smaller feet, not everly magazine beautiful and I get sucked into the whole body obsession like women do sometimes. I get down on myself for not being tall enough or chiseled and muscular enough. It's all very silly.

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 04:50 PM

You sound cute, Manimal! My boyfriend is only about 2 inches taller than me and isn't a big guy in general but that's what I like.

I like boys with muscle that can still manage to be on the smaller side, like martial art muscle. Very lean and not at all bulky. You're not too short or too small, you're juuuust right!

And you totally nailed it on the head with medium-big being the IDEAL size. That's my bf's size and I must say, I am VERY pleased. He's not so big that no matter what position we try, there's still an inch or so of him outside of me, but he's not small enough that he can't reach that little g-spot way in the back either. He's juuust right. He fits inside fully but, at the same time, there isn't a place that he can't reach. It's like someone molded him to my girl.

Sounds like you're about the same, so I'm glad you stopped obsessing and realized just how good you actually have it.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 03-01-2006, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manimal

So really it's not that my dingy is so great so much as she is so compatible with me

If there's any "size" that I still worry about it's my body size. I'm a shorter guy, smaller hands, smaller feet.

You're feet AND Hands are still BIGGER than mine.. And I wear a Size Ten..

So you DO NOT have girly hands and feet..

Although your feet are softer than mine, but thats because I'm a barefoot heathen and you're not.

And that makes me sad.. So not fair.. *sniffle*

But you are too hard on yourself.. You are Yummy and Delicious!!

From Head to Toe..

And I do mean, from Head to Toe.

Julia, thats what I prefer too.

The lean, Martial Arts build. Wide Shoulders, narrow waist, rippled stomach, broad chest..

Mmmmm drives me nuts..

*slurps*

Now I am imagining the look on Eye's face when she saw the Ginormous New Friend she had to play with, back then..

*Hee*

JuliaGaltic · 03-01-2006, 05:02 PM

Hey right on EPS! I wear size 10 shoes as well... Phew, I thought I was the only girl with feet that size. Not that it's a bad thing, but when ALL your friends are sizes 6 to 8, even the ones that are taller than you, it gets you thinking. I've never been able to swap shoes with my friends because of that

It's not like I'm tall either, I'm only 5'6". If I were 5'10" I could understand.

Empty_Purple_Stars · 03-01-2006, 05:06 PM

Yeah no shit..

It blows..

I could usually borrow my boyfriends shoes, but not my girl friends..

Sigh.

Talk about a complex..Ugh..

But see at least you have some height.

I am only 5 ft 4 inches.. I'm like an Ottoman with Skies..

But you can come raid my Shoes/Boots collection, anytime..

*grabs your bum*

Manimal · 03-01-2006, 05:06 PM

I heart the lovelie ladies of gNet like mega woah!!!

If I was a bad mormon I'd marry you all

WolfMoon · 03-01-2006, 10:29 PM

Damnit, I lost my train of thought!

Thanks a lot, guys!

Cruel Intentions · 03-02-2006, 06:49 AM

Why is everyone concerned with the size of their body parts and/or clothing? The only thing that involves size that I'm concerned with is my waistline. I'm not overweight but I'm not the most althetic person in the world. I really need to get out more...

*goes to the chip-shop*

Damn.

Blushing Heliophobe · 03-02-2006, 07:09 AM

Aw, man! I'm late to the penis conversation. Dam, Dam, Dam.

I'm going to throw in my 2 cents anyways.

I like medium long, medium wide!

I won't say that small is necesarily as good; in many ways it isn't. But if I love you enough, I can look past that. Besides, a lot of times it's more than the 'pokey' that makes a sexual experience awesome and I'd take a *smaller* guy that gives me everything he's got over a guy well endowed that doesn't.

Big is not necesarily good either. TOIB is right; it can go beyond good-hurt into bad-hurt land.

So in my opinion, size matters, but it's not everything.

Tall One In Black · 03-02-2006, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manimal

If there's any "size" that I still worry about it's my body size. I'm a shorter guy, smaller hands, smaller feet… I get down on myself for not being tall enough or chiseled and muscular enough.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaGaltic

You sound cute, Manimal! My boyfriend is only about 2 inches taller than me and isn't a big guy in general but that's what I like.

I think 2” taller is perfect. Admittedly, I haven’t dated a lot of men who are significantly taller than I am – there are only so many 6’4” men to be found – but I found that the 6” difference in height was annoying. My guy now is 2” taller than I am, and that’s perfect. We’re nearly the same size, so we fit together nicely; yet he’s a bit taller, so I don’t feel self-conscious about being an Amazon.

If I were an average height woman, I’d be on the lookout for “short” men, maybe 5’8”.

And as far as muscles go… frankly, I don’t like big muscles. I prefer slender men. I do like broad shoulders, mainly because I am not a tiny woman and I don’t want to worry about snapping the guy in half when I hug him.

I don’t like “chiseled” or “ripped.” And I hate washboard abs. I don’t like my men lumpy. :P A nice flat tummy is perfect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliaGaltic

Hey right on EPS! I wear size 10 shoes as well...
It's not like I'm tall either, I'm only 5'6". If I were 5'10" I could understand.

The average American woman is 5’4”. EPS, you’re not short, you’re average. Julia, you’re taller than average!

The average shoe size for women is 8. For women under 35, it's 8.5. (For Paris Hilton, it’s 11.)

.

Blushing Heliophobe · 03-02-2006, 07:46 AM

Wow, Tstone - I must say, your lady is one helluva lucky woman!

I hear you, TOIB. This reminds me of us trying to convince Korova that short is OK. I don't want to look up at my man! I want him just taller. My SO is only 5'7 and I like it that way. I wanna tower over him when I wear heels but be able to go back to 'normal' when I will

Wise Child · 03-02-2006, 08:56 AM

Same here. I like to know I'd have a fair shot if it came to a ruck.

Ben Lahnger · 03-02-2006, 01:01 PM

Soooooo ... different sizes matter to different people?!?

What a revelation!

Actually all the comments here, both profound and profane, have reminded me that it's really how you treat people that matters most.

Have you ever found yourself falling for someone and this voice in your head says "But this person isn't really your type." And it's usually not because of appearances, but because something in their personality or behaviour appealed to you.

Ben Lahnger · 03-03-2006, 07:55 AM

Yes, it does. But it was more of a rhetorical question, as I think most of us have a story like that. Thank you for sharing yours, as it illuminates what I was talking about so brilliantly.