Anyone else have trouble making 'real' friends?

Maxim_Macabre · 05-09-2009, 06:13 AM

I'm terrible - I haven't been able to make any close friends for probably more than five years now. I'm not all that bad at acquiring friends, but they seldom develop into closer meaningful friendships, and then usually die painfully (sometimes fast, sometimes annoyingly prolonged).

It's like, you grow up and other folks you meet talk about the stupidest shit sometimes to the point where you want to smash them with a brick or otherwise cannot relate in the slightest to what they are talking about. People your own age are living in a different reality and you feel as if you've been born in the wrong society or time period or something.

MollyMac · 05-09-2009, 08:28 AM

You seem to be the one common denominator in all of these failed attempts. Develop your own compassion, people mirror like parokeets.

Solumina · 05-09-2009, 08:43 AM

I'm having trouble keeping in touch with real friends but it is the end of the semester, that happens. Just be open to all sorts of people, sometimes the ones you think you will click with end up being really shallow and dumb and sometimes the people you don't think are worth your time end up being the best of friends.

isobel black · 05-09-2009, 08:59 AM

It may help you to realize that most people have many acquaintances or casual friends, but only a few real friends. At least, that's the way it's been for me.

My relationships with these casual acquaintances tend to be pretty fluid, because it's easy to lose touch with people, but also because a lot of people simply don't make good friends, for several reasons.

From what you're describing, it seems you have no problem taking that first, most difficult step of meeting people. I wouldn't worry too much if you don't develop deep, meaningful, lifelong friendships with all of them. You just don't get that many of those.

Beneath the Shadows · 05-09-2009, 09:29 AM

I have difficulty making friends, but that's mainly because I don't like leaving the house.

Duane · 05-09-2009, 10:10 AM

I've always had trouble making real friends, sure I'd have a bud or two every now and then, but the other kids didn't like it that I had people sticking up for me. So, they filled the head of any person nice enough to be my friend with rumors, and the next time I see them, I get "Go away, fat ass.". Teachers didn't help any, those suspensions for "Throwing rocks at kids" "Sexual harassment" .... blah. So I went from being a sweet kid, to being a bitter one.

Serren · 05-09-2009, 10:28 AM

Yeah I can defiantly relate. I find it hard to make real lasting friendships. I don't seem to come across that many people I really have anything in common with. I also find a lot of people my age (late twenties on wards) only seem to be interested in their partners and seem to have dumped most of their friends an attitude I don't understand and many end up regretting. I don't mind going in and out of touch with people through busy periods but I don't tolerate being used by people only when they are single.

Fortunately I do have a few good friends both on line and in real life. One real friend is worth 10 bad ones.

Have you ever considered trying to join a society of some sort for like minded people?

Still Jack · 05-09-2009, 01:46 PM

I had problems making friends in primary school. As well as early on in secondary school. But when I started hanging around with the Hollerich Mob ( group of people that hang a round a part of city called Hollerich ), It kind of all came together for me.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 05-09-2009, 03:22 PM

I'm your friend =(

JCC · 05-09-2009, 04:00 PM

Nah, I find it quite easy to make friends. Granted, some are going to be closer than others, but I never feel lacking socially.

NachtSorcier · 05-09-2009, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beneath the Shadows

I have difficulty making friends, but that's mainly because I don't like leaving the house.

This.

I recently came to terms with something I had forgotten: When I was younger, I mostly kept to myself, stayed in my room listening to music and reading or watching TV. As I got older, people started telling me that it was wrong to be that way, that I had to start being "sociable." (Oh, how I hate that word.)

Somewhere along the way I started to believe it, and I descended into a very unpleasant place involving self-hatred and panic attacks. I measured my self-worth by how many other people liked me, but because I am not a social person, not many people do.

I understand now that that's okay. The panic attacks have stopped.

Malice In Wonderland · 05-10-2009, 05:28 AM

Nah, I find it pretty easy to make friends.