Whyyy...did the chicken, cross the road?

snow man · 07-18-2007, 04:24 PM

i found this jock really funny ,so i wanted to enjoy it with you
what would famous people answer when we ask them :
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Malcolm X's Answer:
The chicken didn't cross that road, the road crossed that chicken.

Jessica Simpson 's Answer:
Why would he be one a road, I thought chickens lived in the ocean?

Bob Dylan's Answer:
How many roads must a chicken then cross, before you call him a rooster?

Cat Steven's Answer:
"The chicken had so much left to know so it went on the road to find out."

Billie Holiday's Answer:
"If a chicken takes a notion to cross a road or ocean. Well it ain't nobody's business if it do."

Enya's Answer:
"The great journey that was before the chicken then was what was destined to be. Now the chicken is sorrowful, the road is long past." (When translated from Irish Gaelic)

john F. Kennedy's Answer:
Whyyy...did the chicken, cross the road?
*thumps podium*
He crossed the road... to give his life.
He did it,... not for himself,.......... but he did it... for his fellow chickens.
As a warning,...
And a brave and noble thing it was... that he did.

Darwin's Answer:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Another Darwin's Answer:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected
in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its
life-long dream of crossing the road.

Mel Gibson's Answer:
Why do you think the chicken crossed the road? Because its a (censored) Jew. Jews think they can just (censored) cross the street whenever they want. Jewish chickens are responsible for all the wars in the world...are you a Jew??

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi's Answer:
The chicken crossed the holy road to resist the crusaders. Unfortunately, he was killed during the jihad. He has died a martyr.

i hope you will find it funny like i did

Underwater Ophelia · 07-18-2007, 05:01 PM

I liked it.

HumanePain · 07-19-2007, 03:08 AM

Albert Einstein's answer:

"To the chicken, it seems to take a lifetime to cross, and perhaps it will take some eggs along so that after several generations, the species of chickens will have eventually crossed that vast road, that infinite road that never ends.
But to the road, the chicken crosses in an instant. The road has seen many chickens come and go in a flash. The road is relative."

MONTAIGNE's answer:

"We should not glorify the chicken crossing the road. We should not even glorify the road itself. The chicken begins to cross the road, perhaps molts and drops a few feathers on the way, and poops on the center divider. It didn't have to be the center divider, it could have pooped anywhere, but it is regular for it to poop on the divider. Then it simply crosses the road. The chicken is more noble than people however. I myself will cross and observe where I poop."

Leonardo Da Vinci's answer (written backwards in a mirror):

"The sinuous claws of the chicken seemed to be made for crossing roads.
It's wing's however are inefficient for flying across the road, a design that I hope to imitate and improve upon for man's benefit, so that all men may someday fly across roads. To this end, I have dissected a recently dead chicken I acquired in great secrecy from the butcher, and found to my enlightened and humble surprise that the chicken wing is most delicious with Sauce De Tabasco."

Methadrine · 07-19-2007, 04:50 AM

Gothic.net's answer:

Because the chicken, in a rather obvious way, could not spell correctly, wasn't a goth and was literally pushed upon previously mentioned road.

Methadrine · 07-19-2007, 04:57 AM

Nietzsche's answer:

"Where has the chicken gone?" he cried. "I shall tell you. We have killed it - you and I. ...and the road. We are his murderers. But how have we done this? With the road! The chicken... is dead."

HumanePain · 07-19-2007, 05:44 AM

Andy Warhol:
"In the future, everyone will cross the road in 15 minutes."

(oh if that were only true!)

Vampirefreaks:

"LAWLS chicken! LOL i dunno y da chick crossed the r0x0rd! XDDDDDD"

Babelfish:

"Cluck cluck cluck cluck...ba-CAW!"

Highway sign:

"No pedestrians, motor drive cycles or chickens allowed on highway"

Buddhist:

"There is a saying: if you see a chicken on the road, kill the chicken."

El Pollo Loco:

"Will that be chicken for here, or across the road?"

Procrastinator:

"The chicken will cross that road when he gets to it."

Yoko Ono:

"The chicken has become naked."

Brak (from Space Ghost):

"Know what? Chicken butt!"

Methadrine · 07-19-2007, 05:54 AM

Douglas Adams:

"The chicken crossed the road in much the same way that bricks don't."

Methadrine · 07-19-2007, 06:08 AM

The Sisters Of Mercy:

"We don't know if the chicken actually crossed the road, since we used the smokemachine to the max so we lost track of it, but IF the chicken indeed crossed the road it's safe to say IT WASN'T GOTH!"

snow man · 07-19-2007, 11:25 AM

well, i don't know but i think to change this thread to :

what do u think G.net users will answer if we asked them : Why did the chicken cross the road?

i think it will be funny XD
let me start
i think Vyvian Blackthorne will say :
GTFO

chose a user u like or hate and imagine what (s)he will answer

Cyntrox · 07-19-2007, 03:03 PM

snow man: omg i liek inzult luluz

the-broken-harlequin · 07-20-2007, 03:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snow man

i found this jock really funny

i agree jock's are funny.
Jesus christ, K is nowhere near E!

snow man · 07-20-2007, 03:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cyntrox

snow man: omg i liek inzult luluz

outch..... a good one

biohazard · 07-23-2007, 11:49 AM

Why did the Chiken cross the road?
Biohazard: The chiken needed to expand its horizons and get to know the world out there. He was tired of living in the same farm he had lived for many years. The first step was to cross the road.

DeathChii · 07-23-2007, 11:57 AM

DeathChii: Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, because it was too chicken!

hahahahaha lulz

maggot · 07-23-2007, 12:34 PM

Maggot: It tried to cross the road? How heavily cliche'd. From what I see here, it's obviously a poseur chicken.

Well guess what? YOU WILL NEVER BE A CHICKEN.

the-broken-harlequin · 07-24-2007, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maggot

Well guess what? YOU WILL NEVER BE A CHICKEN.

My hopes and dreams... Ruined.

HumanePain · 07-24-2007, 06:35 AM

HumanePain:

"Chicken that is so awesome! You go chicken! Cross that damn road! Yay!
Back when I was an egg, I tried to cross the road but couldn't. It wasn't until I grew legs that I eventually crossed the road, although at first I tried flapping my wings like crazy to no effect. Don't make the same mistake I did, use your feet, not your wings. In my humble opinion."

Aaroneet · 07-25-2007, 05:59 PM

Aaroneet:" 'Tis a desolate road the chicken traverses betwixt bliss and its own undulating desires. A newly confounding fire. Beckon to me, dear chicken, for your call brings with it the pangs of dear life."

HumanePain · 07-25-2007, 06:56 PM

Emo:

"Because it's life is f*cked anyway: it will end up fried and dead and nobody will care, they will just fight over it's corpse and feathers, so it crossed the road hoping to get run over. Sob! I mean: Cluck! Ba-Caw!"

HumanePain · 07-25-2007, 06:59 PM

Goth:

"The mainstream goes down the road, seeing the same rocky and hot asphalt, with yellow lines telling them where to go, but the chicken was truly Goth: it crossed perpendicular to the mainstream, for it is only on the sides of the road that one can see something other than what the mainstream sees, something other than asphalt. The cold dark rain washes all kinds of morbid and discarded but interesting things into the gutter of the road. All of us are in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Drake Dun · 07-26-2007, 01:00 AM

Insurrectionary anarchist: "Whose streets? The chicken's streets!"

Drake

disorder · 08-17-2007, 04:03 AM

Dr Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did she cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve never been told!

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr:
I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Some told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Rev Fred Nile:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your faces? The chicken was going to the ‘other side’. That’s what ‘they’ call it : the ‘other side’. Yes, my friends, that chicken was gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. It is the will of Jesus and the Lord that we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like ‘the other side’. That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It’s as plain simple as that.

Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and violence by counter-revolutionary terrorist and we were forced to defend ourselves from the menace of the chicken by dropping 500 tons of nerve gas on it.

Ronald Reagan:
What chicken?

Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it’s true?

Freud:
The fact that you are all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?

Bill Gates:
We have just released eChicken 00 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file you important documents, and balance you cheque book and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

The CIA:
Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.

Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

James Smith:
I do not know. I am a made up person.

The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, ‘Thou shalt cross the road.’ And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

John Howard:
According to the documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the time of it’s journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of it’s raw/cooked status, the road crossing would then be considered by the Australian Tax Office to be a service for which GST will be imposed.
Stop making fun of my eyebrows.

Reikikuro · 09-12-2007, 03:57 PM

Descarte: the chicken does not think therefore it does not exist.

HumanePain · 09-12-2007, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maggot

Maggot: It tried to cross the road? How heavily cliche'd. From what I see here, it's obviously a poseur chicken.

Well guess what? YOU WILL NEVER BE A CHICKEN.

HAHA! OMG I just read this! :: slaps knee :: Oh man I needed that laugh.

Amarantha · 09-12-2007, 08:58 PM

Amarantha:

Because there was a big fucking squid chasing the chicken, who was just leaving a strip club...

0.o to you too.