University... *Panics*

Edward Strange · 09-23-2007, 10:40 AM

Here I am, in my room, in my student halls.
On my first day of university.

On the way up I was almost sick in the car from nerves and wanted to turn around and come home.
Please.
I still do. >_>

I'm sure this is just first day nerves. Or first week nerves or whatever.
The feeling I am feeling (ho ho) at the moment is... Isolation.
Loneliness.
A terrible black consuming gulf in the center of my chest. Making any other activity other than hugging oneself desperately extremely difficult.

While I'm sure this will go away as I meet people, the nasty little voice in the back of my mind is saying "But you won't make any friends, you'll be sat here, in this little room for three years."
Which makes me quietly gibber in horror.

I look out my window and look at all the nice good looking normal people walk past with their 'mates' and light grey hoodies hiding their fit and muscular frames.
They don't want anything to do with me, I can tell.

I can tell there is a reason that whenever I've moved to one side to make room for someone to get past, and smiled politely and said "Oooh, sorry.", that there is a reason I am met with stoney, uninterested faces.

I've seen my room-mates. Large, rugby loving welsh people. One of them has a network name of "Mad Dogg."

This isn't really what I was expecting.
I'm on the verge of barricading my door.
Or leaving it open in the vain hope someone will come in and take pity on me.

I've never been very good at people skills you see. I'm not a people person. I'd rather stay indoors with a good book than go out clubbing.
And sport is something that happens to other people for me.

Urgh.
Help me! Before I go (even more) insane from loneliness and end up using the hands from my alarm clock to open my wrists in a desperate attempt for attention... >_>

I don't know what to do!
Just be myself... Okay. But then what?
Sorry, you will have to pardon my rather self-obsessed gibberings, but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thankyou so much for reading.

LadyLucretia · 09-23-2007, 11:28 AM

I felt very isolated when I started college. But most everyone is in a similar boat, so my advice would be to go up to anyone who looks interesting and introduce yourself. If you compliment them - i.e. "I like your tshirt, you don't see that style much around here" or "awesome boots - where'd you get them?" then it will seem less awkward - everyone likes being complimented

. From there just ask them questions about themselves - what year are you, what's your major, did you grow up around here, do you like xyz thing, can I get your email/phone number. Part of college is putting yourself out there and extending your comfort zone. I was a total introvert when I started but now I can do a very convincing extrovert impression whenever I need to

.

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 09-23-2007, 11:19 PM

I managed to meet normal people when I first started. I'm quite an introvert and don't really need to make many friends (just having aquaintances is good enough for me, as long as I can chat every day or two...). Give it a week or a month or some time (more than a day, in any case).
:P And anyway, if you don't meet very many people, you can always concentrate on your studies :P

Edward Strange · 09-24-2007, 04:48 AM

Or even, god forbid, part time employment... >_>

Things seem to be going a bit better, my hall-mates seem to be rather cool and friendly.
Although not too sure I'll stay on good terms with some of them.
Just call it a gut instinct.

Anyway, there's a guy hovering around who has a pair of new rocks on and I said hello to him but he had to go before I could ask who he was.
And I spoke to a 'wee man' who's taking forensic sciences..

...Also I rather a very pretty lady with an emily strange tee on. Sadly, again, before I could say "I WORK FOR EMILY STRANGE!" she had gone.
Although hopefully we shall meet again.
Only I won't stare as much we hope. >_>

Thankyou both so very much. It still feels so strange and I sort of... Wish... To go home.
But that's just normal I suppose.
It's strange, it feels like I've been here a hundred years already.

Sovetcke · 09-24-2007, 05:26 AM

Heh ... You actually said my words ... 3 weeks in the university now ( my first year ) in the art faculty .

People seem to be interested in me , but i do not have the guts to come up to any one and start a conversation ...

As soon as i step into the university grounds i have the urge to go home ..

Hope things will change after a few weeks.

Edward Strange · 09-24-2007, 08:10 AM

Ah, no such luck for me I am afraid.

"It's because he is hideous!" >_>

Still, you are right. Hopefully I'll meet some nice dysfunctional people and all will be well.

Valrys · 09-24-2007, 09:26 AM

What university is it you're at if you don't mind saying?
(I'm trying to pick a uni for next year, and its proving tough work >.>)

Edward Strange · 09-24-2007, 12:48 PM

Glamorgan university in South Wales.
I'm doing Police Sciences.
Come here so I have someone to talk too! I think I can manage a year of isolation...

Valrys · 09-24-2007, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edward Strange

Glamorgan university in South Wales.
I'm doing Police Sciences.
Come here so I have someone to talk too! I think I can manage a year of isolation...

Is it nice down there? Wales is generally a nice place from my experience.
And unfortunately, although they do the course I want (Bsc Music Technology) I don't think I meet the entry requirements

Might be worth applying, Some of my other uni choices aren't too appealing (Staffordshire? Yippie......)

kimaru · 09-24-2007, 01:22 PM

Alot of people on this site don't seem to have very good social lives...(I can say that because I'm one of the people. 0_0) Anyways, I guess listening to music will help you feel less lonely aznd try to talk with your room mates...

Valrys · 09-24-2007, 02:32 PM

I'm trying to arrange going to the same Uni as at least one of my friends, just so I've got someone to talk to while I'm getting used to the place, and so we can possibly flat share.
So far it doesn't look to good, but Uni is an opportunity I wouldn't want to miss, even if I give up part way through a course....

LaBelleDameSansMerci · 09-24-2007, 05:17 PM

That's the thing; you can always switch programs if you don't like the one you're in.
The only thing about dysfunctional people is that sometimes they want to get better, and then decide that since the friendship is based on common dysfuctionality, that it's not healthy, and tell you they never want to talk to you again. -_-'

Kimaru, I have noticed that trend, too. The high concentration of introverts (based on data from the personality thread) probably has something to do with it. Some of us are pretty extreme introverts...

Edward Strange · 09-25-2007, 09:43 AM

Well then Valrys, it seems very nice so far.
I haven't had a chance to go out into the town or to Cardiff yet, but so far s' been very groovy.
I'm apparently staying in the 'Ghetto' as far as halls go and it's rather nice.

Apart from the ant infestation... But that is getting dealt with!
It's a nice little university. Not too big, not too small. And it's close to Cardiff, which is from what I hear a very vibrant city to be near too.

Edward Strange · 09-25-2007, 09:44 AM

And many -many- thankyous to everyone else as well. Your wise words have helped my calm down from my hysteria a little bit.
For the while I'm quite happy hiding on the other side of a locked door.

For the time being anyway.

Valrys · 09-25-2007, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edward Strange

Cardiff

Apparantly that is the cheapest place to live for Uni students, probably a very good choice by you there. At least it'll be cheap to be bored and lonely rather than expensive >.>

psyches_reflection · 09-27-2007, 04:31 PM

I've been in exactly the same position here! I just started in UWE Bristol, and I was so very intimidated with meeting new people. I actually had a quick panic attack before my flatmates moved in, but they're LOVELY! No reason to be worried at all, once I got past the intimidation.

You have to remember that everyone else is in the same boat, therefore "gods, all this meeting new people malarkey is awkward!" is the perfect ice-breaker. That and pub crawls. It's hard not to make friends when wearing a DIY hula-girl outfit made from the Yellow Pages... just find whatever student activities seem to be on the go and try them, however crappy they seem.

If you get really lonely, pop out to Bristol for the day and I'll buy you a pint of cider :P

She_Is_My_Sin · 09-28-2007, 11:32 AM

I've just started applying for UCAS at the moment & to even picture myself sorted & settled at a uni is really daunting to me. Plus I don't think I'll be ready to leave by next August either. Though I'm not going straight away as I have to take an foundation course in art, but there's still a possibility of me moving to get to it.

Also two of the universities I want to go to are very, very far away from my hometown.

But I'm glad you're happy there & I hope it all goes ok for you.