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[How Low Can You Go Moe]

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[How Low Can You Go Moe]

As a 12 and 188 year old Iowan ghost who works for Google, I think it's safe to say that I know what I'm talking about when I talk about rates.

Did you know the rates in 2008 are at all all time high? That's right, and for only three easy payments,* you can get volumes 2 through 22 of my tapes that'll tell you how to harness the power of today's go-get-'em rates. Be the first one on your block to get one! Make a friend or two and have a tape party! Watch tape 11 for a steamy surprise somewhere around 3 minutes and 33 seconds...

*With mad usury on the interest

[How Low Can You Go Moe]

Ghosts are actually just really thin Iowans.

[How Low Can You Go Moe]

Why not go ahead and buy stock in your brand of cigarettes? You're already giving them hundreds of dollars a month to keep the fire burnin' bright, so why not just buy a few shares? A hundred bucks or so worth. If it goes up five points, that's a free(ish) pack of fags on your mouth, throat, and lungs!

[How Low Can You Go Moe]

For when it is time to choose a signature:

Nail your wrists to the wall,
This is the Catholic party bah-oh-wah-oh-wah-all!