I have anger issues

Graveyard.Crow · 01-30-2008, 05:58 PM

Well everyone gets angry and whatnot, but I've always been just extra fiery. I used to just take it as a part of me and still do, but since lately there has been a flood of ignorant or just plain annoying assholes, I can't afford to get angry this often. I get pissed off, I mean REALLY pissed off when someone assumes I don't know something, or tries to teach me something when I haven't asked for it.
Now I know what you are going to say
"You should be thankful for any offered knowledge" However, I am the kind of person that if they want to know something, they will ask for it. If I haven't asked, that means I either am already aware of the topic or just don't care to know.

I also get pissed off when people say things I know for a fact are not true, yet I still just get so annoyed and eventually angry. I need a way to just stop caring, or to make myself not care in those particular situations. This is really weird for me because I'm the type of person that hears negative things every day and brushes it off, but with some people it actually gets on my nerves.
I go to a very very stereotypical school, and lately I find it just so hard to brush it off.
So? anyone? calming tips or just opinions?

HumanePain · 01-30-2008, 06:18 PM

I am afraid that sometimes I can be one of "those people".

Ask me the time and I will explain how a clock works.

ANYway, one thing that helps me with anger is to buy a bag of potatoes and throw them one at a time at a brick wall or something. It feels real good to see them explode into a million pieces and the physical exertion of trying to throw them at 90 miles per hour helps exhaust the stress toxins before they build up and you go off on someone.

Soul Love · 01-30-2008, 06:22 PM

Hm... well, try thinking of the consequences.... I don't know if that makes sense, but it sure helps for me. I believe you and I have extremely similar situations, and I think I have anger problems too. The same things that tick you off make me want to punch people in the face, like some idiot at my school who thinks its hilarious that his friend is suicidal. I wanted to strangle him... but I thought of what would happen if I followed through with my urge. I'd get in so much trouble... and trouble means that I wouldn't be able to talk to someone who is very important to me. That fact keeps me straight no matter how angry I am. I don't know if I helped... but.. I hope I did.

Pantherlette086 · 01-30-2008, 09:14 PM

I have bad anger problems too. I usually take a walk (by myself though) or find something you don't care about and tear it. For example a old phone book.

Nevan · 01-30-2008, 10:27 PM

Hmm - venting does have its benefits - like Humane suggests - break stuff, destroy something. I have a punchbag at home that I bash and kick nearly everyday and that helps a lot.

I've been experiencing the same thing at work lately - every single little thing sets me off on a rant - I found that when I get really angry, I try to remove myself from the situation immediately - just a quick walk around the office block or go make a cup of coffee. If I can't leave at the time (and it's so cliché but) - taking a deep breath and counting to ten before saying something has saved me from many nasty situations.

Underwater Ophelia · 01-31-2008, 12:59 AM

I think you just need to relax. Getting angry about something small (or even large) isn't going to help you.

And as for getting pissed off when people tell you things you don't care about or already know...that's just you being an ass. If you already know it, you can show you already know by starting a conversation about the topic. If you're not interested in that, just politely tell them you're aware of the topic, and you don't find it interesting. Them telling you something you already know isn't rude, your reaction is rude.

Valerius · 01-31-2008, 03:59 AM

Have you tried prancing around cemeteries? It's fun imagining yourself six feet under all because you burst an artery blowing your top off on something that annoyed you.

Usually when get really pissed, I take ten deep breaths while wiggling my toes. It helps more often than not, but when it doesn't and if I'm REALLY pissed I let it simmer for a few days imagining all the nasty things I'd do to the idiot who dared cross me.

MollyMac · 01-31-2008, 04:56 AM

Seriously, take up Yoga and Pranayama. It helps control your breathing and heart rate, slowing you down when you would normally fly off the handle. Losing attachment to the stupidity and annoyance that you cannot change. Getting all freaky flexible. It's all good.

Inhale. Acknowledge the idiocy without getting attached to it and dwelling. Exhale, let it go, let it go, let it go

stompyhank · 01-31-2008, 05:23 AM

I used to have horrible anger problems, a lot like what you mentioned.. I think I grew out of it or something, because I didn't really do anything tangible to make it go away, but it's gone. I wish I could recommend something for you, but all the things I used to curb my anger lean towards to the negative/dangerous side (i.e. self harm, breaking anything that happens to be lying around).

Graveyard.Crow · 01-31-2008, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Underwater Ophelia

I think you just need to relax. Getting angry about something small (or even large) isn't going to help you.

And as for getting pissed off when people tell you things you don't care about or already know...that's just you being an ass. If you already know it, you can show you already know by starting a conversation about the topic. If you're not interested in that, just politely tell them you're aware of the topic, and you don't find it interesting. Them telling you something you already know isn't rude, your reaction is rude.

Ah, I was hoping you would post something. Somehow being told I'm an ass helps.
Only see I don't get pissed when just anyone explains something, it's not that at all. It's people that I know think they are just SO above most people that assume I can't possibly be aware of topic, even though those topics are my freaking LIFE.
It's them being an ass, well, at least from my point of view.

Underwater Ophelia · 01-31-2008, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Graveyard.Crow

Ah, I was hoping you would post something. Somehow being told I'm an ass helps.
Only see I don't get pissed when just anyone explains something, it's not that at all. It's people that I know think they are just SO above most people that assume I can't possibly be aware of topic, even though those topics are my freaking LIFE.
It's them being an ass, well, at least from my point of view.

The way you first described it, I'd say it's you with the problem, however, I'm not viewing the situation, so you can present it to me however you want, and make whoever you want out to be the bad guy.

BUT.

Who is the "bad guy" isn't what's important. What's important is not getting upset over other people.
If these people are so arrogant, rude, and possibly immature...why the hell would you care about what they say or do? Just tell them politely, "I'm not interested in this conversation" or something of the like, and walk away to do something you ARE interested in.

Also, remember, no matter WHO is wrong, even if someone is treating you badly--acting like a brat, i.e. yelling, making petty insults, or whatever people do when they're angry, makes you wrong, too.
There is nothing wrong with calmly and rationally explaining how you feel, and then removing yourself from the situation.

Graveyard.Crow · 01-31-2008, 11:13 AM

That's what I'm trying to do. It is hard to walk away though, if a person is my friend and I don't really want to make a bigger deal out of it than it is. I need to find a way not to care. It's silly that I do care, it really is.

Solumina · 01-31-2008, 02:10 PM

I have had some major anger management issues in the past, Yoga and Tai Chi have both helped me quite a bit. Also when there is more anger than I am used to dealing with I paint, big bright violent creations, that helps bunches and it is kind of like the anger just flows directly out of me and onto the canvas. It is different for everyone so I'm not quite sure what will work for you, I can only say what has worked for me.

L'Oiseau Noir · 01-31-2008, 02:23 PM

Don't worry about them, Alissa. I've been where you're at, and blowing your stack every time someone prods at you usually makes things even more achy and irritating. It's like an overload to the circuitry of your brain; cogs springing in all directions, coils flying everywhere--take a moment to breathe and calm down before exploding.

I have an extremely bad temper, but I've learned to deal with it--and someone with an anger issue as profound as mine, that's saying something. If I could do something about it, then you can definitely change things in your favor! Don't let 'em bug you.

The one thing that really helps me cope with my stress is playing an extremely violent video game, and just pretending every person on the screen is someone I don't like. In the end up, I usually have a big smirk on my face and am able to function properly for the rest of the day with a clear, unspoiled mind.