I am the complete epitome of fear and failure. Useless and destructive to all peoples and every living thing. I wish to drag all of humanity with a meat hook ensnaring you by your collective jaw. I will drag you to the deepest pit of vile and carnage. I wish to submerge you in the black soup of death and decay. Delicious soup it shall be. I hunger.

Oh! Oh, how long it has been! For three long months I have been chained and bound within my own mind. I have clawed myself out of my mental prison and now here I am; barely alive and barely human, but I am here. I still feel the chains grazing against my ankles, threatening to drag me back into nothing. I hope for the sake of my adored one that I am not taken again. In my numbness he felt pain, but he still held me. In my delirious, malicious, and rambunctious insanity he still held me. When my...

Today has been the first day I have felt sane in a long time. I finally got a visit from Mary. Her calming thick breath was all I needed. My mental monsters have quieted and the pain has vanished. I hope Mary visits again soon.

On another note; I have decided to not kill myself. It turns out that there is someone that genuinely cares for my well being and I do not wish them any form of harm. Even if it means I must put up with myself for a little while longer, then so be it. I am...

I am exhausted. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally weak. This madness is draining. I wish I could sleep myself to oblivion. How many pills will it take? I don’t want help and I don’t want your annoying face spewing “advise” at me. Please; take your “helping hand” someplace else. I just want it all to end. Well most parts of me want it to end, but another sick portion of me enjoys this torment and wishes it to continue. I wonder how much more I can take before I eventually go completely numb....

What caused these gory repulsive images in my mind? If only I could trap them on paper or expel them some other way. Demonic forms flood my mental view; making it very difficult to function (normally). I can almost smell the blood and taste the carnage. I feel myself going mad! The flesh of my mind is being ripped and torn from its place. My sanity has been *****! It has been oh, so violently taken from me. My mental stability is hardly existent. It is so hard to fight the temptation to rip my own...