How do I tell my friend in a nice way not to dress goth? - Page 2

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godslayer Jillian

Yes, I do, from the amount of exposure she has allowed us to have of her. And how about not get all whiny and offended for a fucking word?

No, you don't.You really don't know anything. I haven't exposed much of me at all, and if I do, so what? I DO like goth music, and it is rude to tell someone, "You are not goth" because like Graveyard.Crow said, it's not a power word. Tiffany believes that by dressing goth, she IS goth. I want to tell her in the nicest way that that's not how it is.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 01:35 PM

I don't think people understand what I mean. I mean she's dressing like this because of her friends but all her goth friends are leaving her now and she has no clue why. I don't care if she dresses goth, but I at least need to tell her that dressing goth doesn't make her goth. She thinks that it does. Tiffany only started to dress goth about 5 weeks about once she made 2 goth friends. She CAN dress goth, but I still think she should know it doesn't make her goth.

JCC · 10-18-2007, 01:37 PM

Then by your own ruling, of goth NOT being a power word, you can't tell her that she isn't goth, because by that you're only trying to demean her status, which makes it a lot like a power word. In fact, it makes it just like a power word. My my, isn't that strange? You want to avoid using "power words"? Don't label your friend as goth or not goth, then.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

Then by your own ruling, of goth NOT being a power word, you can't tell her that she isn't goth, because by that you're only trying to demean her status, which makes it a lot like a power word. In fact, it makes it just like a power word. My my, isn't that strange? You want to avoid using "power words"? Don't label your friend as goth or not goth, then.

Yes, I am NOT going to tell her that and I never said I was going to. I want to tell her that dressing goth doesn't make you goth. She can dress it if she wants to. I'm teaching her more about the goth subculture so she can understand more. Tiffany is not a poseur.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina_Death1334

I have a friend that dresses (well, tries to dress) Goth. It bothered me at first, just because it made no sense and I was pretty sure it was to impress a boyfriend. After a while, I just quit caring. Her wardrobe was no longer "Goth-Poseur". It was just her. And now, I rather like that about her. (The fact that what was an attempt at fitting in became her own unique expression.)

Actually, Tiffany dresses up very goth, not poseur like at all and I don't think that she's a poseur. I want her to be herself. Just yesterday she told me, "I hate dressing goth to impress my friends." See? She doesn't want to dress goth.

JCC · 10-18-2007, 02:10 PM

So she'll stop herself and you need not nudge her either way. Problem solved. In which case, why did you post this topic other than to monger attention?

Beneath the Shadows · 10-18-2007, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

Actually, Tiffany dresses up very goth, not poseur like at all and I don't think that she's a poseur. I want her to be herself. Just yesterday she told me, "I hate dressing goth to impress my friends." See? She doesn't want to dress goth.

So why didn't you right then and there say, "Well, then don't. You'll impress them more by being yourself."

Christina_Death1334 · 10-18-2007, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

Actually, Tiffany dresses up very goth, not poseur like at all and I don't think that she's a poseur. I want her to be herself. Just yesterday she told me, "I hate dressing goth to impress my friends." See? She doesn't want to dress goth.

My friend, honestly, started dressing Goth to impress some guy. That was only a problem because it was being shallow. Eventually, it was just her style (and to be honest, not even remotely Goth to anyonne who knows what the word means). When she started dressing like herself and just happened to look a bit Goth I was fine with it. I actually liked it. It was only at first when it was done with shallow intentions that it irked me.

I'm glad your friend isn't trying to be anything other than herself. That is quite admirable.

gothicusmaximus · 10-18-2007, 03:44 PM

I can't believe people actually responded to a post by a 14 year old girl complaining that Tiffany shouldn't wear Tripp products, and I can't believe that I just became one of those people.

LadyLucretia · 10-18-2007, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beneath the Shadows

Yes, it's sooo horrible that someone wants to talk about goth on a gothic website.

What amazes me is how frequently DarkPrayer posts, and how every single post is something that has been rehashed a thousand times and could easily have been answered by searching the archives. It's getting tiresome, and I keep seeing hints of troll myself. I just can't imagine how a real person could post every cliche "what is goth/am i goth/my friend's not goth oh no/i need advice on xyz aspect of being goth" type post.

gothicusmaximus · 10-18-2007, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyLucretia

I keep seeing hints of troll myself.

I think you overestimate the average emotional maturity of 14 year old goffick girls.

LadyLucretia · 10-18-2007, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gothicusmaximus

I think you overestimate the average emotional maturity of 14 year old goffick girls.

It makes my brain hurt less to think she's a troll. No one that cliche could be real. Right? RIGHT?

::head explodes::

Green.Lady · 10-18-2007, 04:15 PM

I am really thinking she's a troll because she said nothing to deny it the few times I called her one... and I agree, I cannot believe that someone like this exists in this world - she doesn't even try to gain any knowledge or understanding of what we say to her.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JCC

So she'll stop herself and you need not nudge her either way. Problem solved. In which case, why did you post this topic other than to monger attention?

Nevermind. But I didn't do it for attention. I know all the attention i get is bad, so I would never want it.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 04:18 PM

Okay, someone please tell me, what is a troll?! A few members are calling me this and I have no clue what it means? Obviously something bad, but I still want to know.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green.Lady

I am really thinking she's a troll because she said nothing to deny it the few times I called her one... and I agree, I cannot believe that someone like this exists in this world - she doesn't even try to gain any knowledge or understanding of what we say to her.

Because I don't know what a troll is! SOMEONE please tell me!!!!!!!!!!! I do try to gain understanding, not knowledge, but understanding.

Beneath the Shadows · 10-18-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyLucretia

What amazes me is how frequently DarkPrayer posts, and how every single post is something that has been rehashed a thousand times and could easily have been answered by searching the archives. It's getting tiresome, and I keep seeing hints of troll myself. I just can't imagine how a real person could post every cliche "what is goth/am i goth/my friend's not goth oh no/i need advice on xyz aspect of being goth" type post.

It's possible that she's a troll, but then again it's possible that she's a normal teen-ager suffering from normal teen-age anxieties.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyLucretia

What amazes me is how frequently DarkPrayer posts, and how every single post is something that has been rehashed a thousand times and could easily have been answered by searching the archives. It's getting tiresome, and I keep seeing hints of troll myself. I just can't imagine how a real person could post every cliche "what is goth/am i goth/my friend's not goth oh no/i need advice on xyz aspect of being goth" type post.

What's a troll?

Beneath the Shadows · 10-18-2007, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

Okay, someone please tell me, what is a troll?! A few members are calling me this and I have no clue what it means? Obviously something bad, but I still want to know.

If you really don't know... Click me!

LadyLucretia · 10-18-2007, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkPrayer

What's a troll?

http://justfuckinggoogleit.com/

Graveyard.Crow · 10-18-2007, 04:37 PM

Well well well. If we're going to throw words around, it sounds to be like there is some bullying going on, mixed in with some genuine advice.

Green.Lady · 10-18-2007, 04:39 PM

Uhm... a lot of people on this site are teenaged (including me) and none are quite like this.

And, DP, you should want to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, as they say. Learning is good. Check out some of the things we recommend and consider taking good advice.

Beneath the Shadows · 10-18-2007, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green.Lady

Uhm... a lot of people on this site are teenaged (including me) and none are quite like this.

No, but for the most part they don't all act like one another, either.

Broadwaypoetez · 10-18-2007, 06:27 PM

I have to admit I acted a little like her during my first goth phase.

Personally, I'm liking my second goth wind. It just fits now.

Me: I will keep you, gothic aspect!

Gothme: Bleeping music and beer, what?

Me: ... I hate you, gothme.

Gothme: Mission Accomplished.

---

I have to say, she's not a troll, just too desperate to fit in. Sucks to be in the early teens.

DarkPrayer · 10-18-2007, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Green.Lady

Uhm... a lot of people on this site are teenaged (including me) and none are quite like this.

And, DP, you should want to gain knowledge. Knowledge is power, as they say. Learning is good. Check out some of the things we recommend and consider taking good advice.

Alright, I will. Thank you for suggesting that. I guess you're right.