dating a "Non-goth"? - Page 10

02-26-2011, 04:58 PM

I sure am great.

JJ_Spade · 02-26-2011, 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 6SixSick

Warm fart?

Lol, Like Roses....

Solumina · 02-26-2011, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

If they had not done it in the first place, there would be no blackmail. That being said, how many couples do not use some kind of blackmail to get what they want? I do not think there are many. How many times has a guy wanted to go out with his friends and the girl says something like, "Oh,honey, but you always go out with them and I feel neglected." or something like that? It happens all the time. People want to control other people. "It's in our nature."

That's a load of shit. If you are blackmailing each other then you don't have a healthy relationship. Relationships take compromise but not blackmail. If, for instance, Jake wants to go hang out with his buddies but there is something that I want him to do then we talk about it and figure out whether he needs to reschedule his buddy time or if he will help me out before or after his buddy time. If I feel like he is spending all of his free time out and about so that I'm feeling neglected or like I have to do all of the housework then we talk about it when we have some time together (in other words: not when he already has plans because I don't want him to feel bad for spending time with friends or obligated to cancel) and we talk about it like adults.

JJ_Spade · 02-26-2011, 08:45 PM

I Do Agree It Does Take Compromise, I Just Kicked A Possible Relationship To The Street Because He Was A "My Way Or The Highway Kinda Guy" I Do Believe Talking Things Out IS The Best Way To Handle Things. And Somethings Depending On What It Is, Needs To Be Handled As Soon As Possible. If Someone Values The Relationship They Would...However If It Isnt That Serious, Waiting Isnt An Issue. Cat-Hun, Trust Me On This One As Well.

Apathy's_Child · 02-27-2011, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saya

You people kill magic.

Hey, don't look at them. Look at ME. I'll make it worth your while by taking out my junk and squeezing the end to make it talk. If you're real good, I might even draw a little face on it, to help us all get into... character.

Saya · 02-27-2011, 07:44 AM

Hahahaha, my attention will never wander again.

Cat Stark · 02-27-2011, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

That's a load of shit. If you are blackmailing each other then you don't have a healthy relationship. Relationships take compromise but not blackmail. If, for instance, Jake wants to go hang out with his buddies but there is something that I want him to do then we talk about it and figure out whether he needs to reschedule his buddy time or if he will help me out before or after his buddy time. If I feel like he is spending all of his free time out and about so that I'm feeling neglected or like I have to do all of the housework then we talk about it when we have some time together (in other words: not when he already has plans because I don't want him to feel bad for spending time with friends or obligated to cancel) and we talk about it like adults.

But how many people do "talk about it like adults"? Not very many. That is one of the reasons that the divorce rate is so high. People do not talk. In perfect world people would not have to blackmail and bride (How many people do things in a relationship for sex?) to get their significant other to do something or not to do something. Most of the time it does not work that way. There are always strings attached and a bottom line. People use each other, most just chose not to notice because of the idea it makes them a bad person, or they would have to admit that their relationship is not working out as well as they think.

02-27-2011, 11:39 AM

People get married when they shouldn't. The reason the divorce rate is so high is because too many marry too young, and then have kids, only to realise they hate what they've done to their lives.

JJ_Spade · 02-27-2011, 11:58 AM

What's The Right Age To Get Married Then?

02-27-2011, 12:01 PM

It's a set of circumstances, none of which can be reached before a certain point. You can't have a secure, well paying job when you're twenty. You're a lacky at that point. Watch an episode of Super Nanny for a visual explanation.

Cat Stark · 02-27-2011, 12:02 PM

People do get married when they should not but also to who they should not. That is a reason, but it also due to lack of communication. Even if you marry young, you can still hold it together if you really work at it and communicate. Most people do not want to put in that work. Why do what is hard? Divorce is easier. There is no trying, no working it out. Yes, it costs a lot of money to do it, but to some people it is still easier.

Solumina · 02-27-2011, 01:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

But how many people do "talk about it like adults"?

Well Jake and I do, as do the majority of the adult couples that I know.

Cat Stark · 02-28-2011, 02:19 PM

Good for you and your friends. I hope it stays that way, but it is hard for you to say that just because you and the limited amount of people you know are one way that it makes most of the people in America that way. Some people just get lucky. Not all, some.

Solumina · 02-28-2011, 02:31 PM

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

MissCheyenne · 02-28-2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

Truth. Every relationship is about compromise. Without it, you are doomed from the start. There HAS to be some give and take otherwise you have nothing to work with.

6SixSick · 02-28-2011, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solumina

It isn't about getting lucky, it is about being willing to work on yourself instead of just blaming others for your problems. To say that all relationships are bad but that I'm just somehow lucky enough to be in a good one is just an excuse for other people's bad behavior.

C'est vrai! When I'm asked what I look for in a woman the commitment to personal growth is the top of my list. Someone's who's committed to improving their character (not just their body or wealth) is someone who is more likely to see the bigger picture and be willing to talk things through; they see disagreements as opportunites for you both to grow, not as a setback in the relationship.

Cat Stark · 02-28-2011, 03:04 PM

All of those things are important to hold a relationship together, but I have never seen it implemented in real life.
At the beginning, I can see it being possible. I have never seen it last to the long term. Something usually pitches it one way or the other. After people get married and have to live around that person for years most of those important things go away. It becomes superficial. I have never seen some one "grow" from a fight.

6SixSick · 02-28-2011, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat Stark

All of those things are important to hold a relationship together, but I have never seen it implemented in real life.
At the beginning, I can see it being possible. I have never seen it last to the long term. Something usually pitches it one way or the other. After people get married and have to live around that person for years most of those important things go away. It becomes superficial. I have never seen some one "grow" from a fight.

Maybe you're hanging out round the wrong people. Go out with Solumina and her buddies lol

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 02-28-2011, 03:33 PM

Apathy has this way of drawing out love and hate from me. I'd date him!

I'd also date Kontan 'cause like... it's Kontan...

AND VERSUS! FIGHT SEX OH YES YES YES.

I'm obviously only interested in deep, and meaningful relationships...

Saya · 03-01-2011, 01:02 AM

See? Fine taste.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-01-2011, 01:04 AM

Fine like yo-

I suddenly feel like a womanizer. For shame. :[

Apathy's_Child · 03-01-2011, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir Canvas Corpsey

Apathy has this way of drawing out love and hate from me.

Misdiagnosis of Apathy-hate is sadly rife in the current pseudomedical climate. However, in most cases, the hatred is in fact an illusory side-effect brought on by the love.

Sir Canvas Corpsey · 03-01-2011, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apathy's_Child

Misdiagnosis of Apathy-hate is sadly rife in the current pseudomedical climate. However, in most cases, the hatred is in fact an illusory side-effect brought on by the love.

Like the grumpiness generated when you're not able to walk after a big dick has pounded your ass.

Catch · 03-01-2011, 02:24 PM

I'm a sensitive person looking for More! All a person has to do is telepathetically understand the passcode and post it in real life. After passcode is accepted, proving they can read my mind, I don't care if they are Goth, Punk or whatever; however, they do have to be human.

Tenebris_In_Lux · 03-01-2011, 03:55 PM

I'm a Goth female dating my first love, and as you might have guessed, he isn't a Goth. The place I live in straddles between "large town" and "small city" so .. there are not too many "alternative" persons where I live.

A lot of my peers love to dream about the perfect boy, what he should look like, what he should do in the case of a romantic bedroom situation, etc. Me? I'm dating a guy who classifies himself as a Geek .. and things have gone along quite well! He confesses that he still loves Pokemon, and I confess that I'm still infatuated with The Shockrocker With No Eyebrows *cough* Marilyn Manson *cough*

Do people tease me about it? Sure. Many people expect my sweetheart to be this ultra-Gothy dude.
I must giggle when the question "Do you want him to be Goth?" pops up. Because frankly, dressing him up would be a lot of fun -- and I have brought him to my workplace (college radio DJ!). But I love him the way he is.

I hope I didn't go overboard on that :P
And yea .. you can laugh about the MM thing >_>