Rant Thread II

[Versus]

Skyrim has so many bugs. Most of them get lost in the sheer size of the game, but some of them can really screw you into starting over. They really should have let console players get a USB keyboard use console commands like on PC.

[BourbonBoy]

Thing is, I play the PC version, but so far I haven't been able to find the proper programming to correct the bug. In a fit of rage I decided to start over and kill my previous character.

I hate having a stomach bug. Had to call into work today, which is something I hate doing.

[Versus]

I've done Skyrim reconstructive surgery a bit and might be able to help.

[BourbonBoy]

Cool. So far I've rebooted the character and downloaded a few updates. I'll see how it works the second time around.

[Versus]

Originally Posted by BourbonBoy

Cool. So far I've rebooted the character and downloaded a few updates. I'll see how it works the second time around.

Up to you. Would just suck to get far and find out it's still an issue.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by ape descendant

Cool, I'll get right on it. *wicked grin*

I'm very angry at Ape for her dropping me and going on with BB about tree houses and dogs! No one can believe how angry I am at her. She KNOWS how much these things mean to me, yet she just tosses the terms around like a caravan in a tornado.

Oh. My. God. I'm having a crisis. Quick, I need to facebook this and send it out on tweeter so everyone knows of my despair.. then maybe I can sign a movie deal, because I am a legend in my own lunchbox, covered in dog kibble, waiting for a furry friend to be my friend.

Oh I can't even rant rightly. Just look at my grammer... my punctuation... oh woe is me!!

[ape descendant]

Oooor you could come hang out in the tree house with everyone.

[Solumina]

This is the longest day of my life. I don't mean figuratively our first flight left at 5:20am so we had to get up very very early and our last flight will land around 9pm, just in a different time zone, one that is 6 hours behind where we started. Oh and when we land we have no idea what to do since we are currently on a wait list for a room at the Navy lodge. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and go to sleep but I have a sinus infection so there is no hope of sleeping on the plane.

[Solumina]

And our flight is delayed over an hour, we won't land until 10:30ish

[BourbonBoy]

Hang in their Sol, the best part of PCS is when you can finally catch some real sleep.

[Jaye Jang]

I typed my name into Google Images and got pictures of Justin Bieber. Acckk!! I think I'm going to change my name.

[Solumina]

Thankfully our hotel room has a really comfy bed so we both managed to get some decent sleep (still can't wait to be back in my own bed but it isn't a bad substitute until then). We also found out that our car and household goods are here, fingers crossed we can get the car today. We are seeing army housing today navy housing tomorrow so we should be moving into our new place very, very soon. The only snag right now it's that both the navy lodge and the navy gateway (Where we ended up getting a room) are both booked pretty solid, there was a cancellation here so we have our room until at least tomorrow but after that we are going to have to go day by day.

[Saya]

After weeks of night shift why are they giving me three day shifts before putting me back on nights. I'm not going to be functional.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by ape descendant

Oooor you could come hang out in the tree house with everyone.

Hey I'm already there *wink*. I just wanted to 'pretend' I was in a bad mood with you... It actually got me out of my whingy pity party that I seem to find these days.

Sooo wanted to do a nearby straw bale building workshop, but couldn't afford the five days of time to dedicate to it. Plus I would never have wanted to come back to this world if I had ventured into that one.

[Lilyth Von Gore]

Yes, well, there is nothing more aggrivating and heartbreaking than the people who raised you pretending that you were never assaulted by someone you trusted. And what's more, acting like I'm over exaggerating everything. I've come a long way, yet they have made the process of recovery a damn sight more difficult than it should have been. I've just come out of the shock stage, so everything that happened is making me super sensitive to everything. Panic attacks, anxiety up the jaxxy, low mood and mood swings. I've tried explaining to them why I'm like this. I even reckon that I may have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) because I've got all the symptoms, and my support worker reckons so too. Yef when I mention the possibility to my Grandparents, they call me a hypochondriac. They're worse than ATOS! And that's saying something! Never mind that I've been diagnosed with P.T.S.D and Clinical Depression...
And they just assume that I'm okay with shit when I am so very clearly not, and have the balls to whinge when I protest. Like there was an interview with a victim of sexual assault on the tv. I couldn't listen to it, and I asked if I could mute it. My Grandparents rather begrudgingly agreed, as if it was a great inconvenience. I am so fucking sick of their bullshit! I swear, I don't know what I can do if my support worker can't get through to them... more than once have I broken down into tears because of them and the immense pressure they are putting on me to " get over it". I already told them that taking away my control over this is NOT going to fix me. Funny how they oh-so-conveniently forget every fucking time they do it!

Pardon me while I go fucking cry myself to sleep. Again.

[Fruitbat]

LVG The issue is with your Grand Parents. If you ever have an issue as with the TV, just walk out of the room. No use in being polite if it's going to damage you.

sorry to hear you have PTSD and Clinical Depression. Be nice to yourself, even when others aren't, because it's all too easy to ride yourself hard and focus on the negative shite.

Is there a local support group where you can vent? Maybe keep a journal, and vent in there if that makes you feel safer.

[Lilyth Von Gore]

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

LVG The issue is with your Grand Parents. If you ever have an issue as with the TV, just walk out of the room. No use in being polite if it's going to damage you.

sorry to hear you have PTSD and Clinical Depression. Be nice to yourself, even when others aren't, because it's all too easy to ride yourself hard and focus on the negative shite.

Is there a local support group where you can vent? Maybe keep a journal, and vent in there if that makes you feel safer.

I go to a support group called WRASAC. That's where the support worker I was on about is from. And I do indeed keep a journal, which she has read, and is frankly rather peeved at my Grandparents for their lack of wanting to understand.

[BourbonBoy]

Just because I'm willing to put up with shitty hours and pay doesn't mean I'm going to put up with shirt times for my lunch break.

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Lilyth Von Gore

I go to a support group called WRASAC. That's where the support worker I was on about is from. And I do indeed keep a journal, which she has read, and is frankly rather peeved at my Grandparents for their lack of wanting to understand.

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't necessary mean that they will automatically understand how you are feeling or how a certain event has impacted on you.

It sucks. Totally and completely, but there it is. The tricky thing is to find people who will support you during your hard time.

Just be kind to yourself. Because loving your own self, now that's the trick.

[Fruitbat]

Just learnt that a girl I went to primary school with has such wonderfully warm memories of a teacher that used to abuse me.

Fuck that for a joke.

[Lilyth Von Gore]

Originally Posted by Fruitbat

Just because someone is related to you, doesn't necessary mean that they will automatically understand how you are feeling or how a certain event has impacted on you.

It sucks. Totally and completely, but there it is. The tricky thing is to find people who will support you during your hard time.

Just be kind to yourself. Because loving your own self, now that's the trick.

Yes, but I have tried explaining to them the situation every time it comes up for the past two years. The exact same thing using different approaches. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other with those two and I am DONE trying. That's why I asked my support worker to explain to them. And Gods help me if she can't, because if she can't make them understand, I am out of options and then I don't know what to do.
They seem to think I should be over it. After only two years? I explained to them that there were survivors who were STILL in therapy after 6 years. They told my sister behind my back. I understand that they were trying to help, but they took away a decision that was mine and mine alone. I wanted to tell her to her face, but no. My Gran told her over the phone like she was gossiping. And when I confront her, she guilt trips me into apologising for something that SHE did. In my eyes she is no better than the asshole who took away my control over the situation I was in. That may sound harsh but it's true. My Grandparents need to realise that taking away my choice in the matter or my control over a situation is NOT the way to help me get better.

[Acharis]

I'm really sorry Lilyth. Things like this take however long they take, and your grandparents seem desperate for you to 'get over it' yesterday. It may be a form of denial and minimization to protect themselves from feeling like they can't help you, but it's really not doing your needs any favours.

I second just getting up and walking away from triggers. Talking about trauma with loved ones can unfortunately be like talking to a brick wall but take any opportunity to avoid/minimise exposure and care for yourself. Desensitisation by graded exposure may *one day* be on the table but there are proper ways to do it - it can't be forced! Is there anybody else you can stay with for a bit to get a break?

[Fruitbat]

Originally Posted by Lilyth Von Gore

Yes, but I have tried explaining to them the situation every time it comes up for the past two years. The exact same thing using different approaches. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It's like it goes in one ear and out the other with those two and I am DONE trying. That's why I asked my support worker to explain to them. And Gods help me if she can't, because if she can't make them understand, I am out of options and then I don't know what to do.
They seem to think I should be over it. After only two years? I explained to them that there were survivors who were STILL in therapy after 6 years. They told my sister behind my back. I understand that they were trying to help, but they took away a decision that was mine and mine alone. I wanted to tell her to her face, but no. My Gran told her over the phone like she was gossiping. And when I confront her, she guilt trips me into apologising for something that SHE did. In my eyes she is no better than the asshole who took away my control over the situation I was in. That may sound harsh but it's true. My Grandparents need to realise that taking away my choice in the matter or my control over a situation is NOT the way to help me get better.

Unfortunately you can chose your friends, but you can't pick your relatives.
You can't change the way your grandparents behave, however, you can change your perspective on things.

Hell, I know that's easier said than done, but if you want to take control back over your life, over your triggers, over your feelings et al, then you need to change.

I flamin' triggered when I found out a classmate was singing the praises of the teacher who abused me. But then, I thought to myself, "Right that bastard had such a negative impact on my life - am I going to let him keep having a negative impact? Or am I going to be fucking brilliant, totally awesome and soar to new heights?"

Soar baby. Soar.

[Solumina]

Hawaii really is paradise but fucking hell we are broke. The worst part is that it's temporary brokeness (we'll be fine as soon as we get our tla) but we will be broke until after Christmas and I was really banking on a good Christmas making this place feel like home.

[Saya]

I think I can officially say that grad school is off the table. Fuck, I don't have the time to do an honors degree :/