Passions of the Past

[Tea and Cake or Death]

I'm really not a writer. I haven't really tried to write since high school. Whatever.

and so it turns you on
and red shines in the dark
but when it's done it's never gone
and your still laying fully stark

did you know that before
and you went ahead anyway
is it for the face you adored
that you led yourself astray

Why can't you leave it be
it's a love you will never have
pride used as emotional debris
and your heart is cut in half

Cast your bitter pall on hope
as you blacken out the day
Blind and broken, still you grope
in time the black turns gray.

but still the red shines in the dark
memories still turn you on
the truth laid out fully stark
and now he's forever gone

...and there you have it. Now what I want from you is, do you think I have any talent that just needs to be cultivated, or should I just quit while I'm ahead?

[Tin_Lizzie]

Originally Posted by Tea and Cake or Death

I'm really not a writer. I haven't really tried to write since high school. Whatever. Now what I want from you is, do you think I have any talent that just needs to be cultivated, or should I just quit while I'm ahead?

That's too much pressure. I cannot be responsible for your career decisions based on one poem. Maybe some people will say it's bad, others will like it. Doesn't matter. Whether you keep trying or quit is up to you. Good luck.

[HumanePain]

Although I would have liked the question mark used where it was needed and some other grammar, I liked it and I think you have captured and expressed a mood very well. I especially liked the last two stanzas.

[Tea and Cake or Death]

Originally Posted by Tin_Lizzie

That's too much pressure. I cannot be responsible for your career decisions based on one poem. Maybe some people will say it's bad, others will like it. Doesn't matter. Whether you keep trying or quit is up to you. Good luck.

I'm not looking at it as a career. It's just something I'd like to know if I were any good at.